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Dareon · DARKNESS Joined: 08 Jul 2002 Posts: 505 Location: HELL

Soft, cheerful jazz music sounded from concealed speakers around the score and a half of people that stood in the wood-panelled lobby of the hotel. Amethyst stood in front of the assembly, drawing a few cries of recognition from some. He held up his hands for silence and spoke.

"Ladies, gentlemen, the rare gender-neutral... Allow me to thank you all. While only five, perhaps a few more, of you were aware of it before now, without you all, this iteration, and possibly the rest of the multiverse, was doomed." He held up a hand to forestall some of the interjections.

"Some of you are aware of my personal storyline. For the next few minutes, you may safely take a nap." Laughter. "Almost precisely ten days ago, I returned home after my last tournament. My destiny then was to fight and defeat the Lord of Hell in order to save both my home region, the Magic Kingdom, and possibly this entire world.

"The battle with Hell's Lord could easily be described as epic. It was all we could do to hold our own against him. Even with our best effort put forth, we found ourselves losing. My friends fell one by one, until only we were left. Then it became a war of attrition, to see if I could beat him before exhausting all my resources. It was... exactly equal. As our last spell hit him, his claws tore my throat open.

"We thought that was the end of it, and would have been satisfied. I had fulfilled my purpose, our world was safe." He sighed. "That was not the case. The Lord of Hell possessed us, merged our souls. We were both... all... weak, wavering between waking and dreaming, our body on the verge of death, each fighting the others for control... During one of my brief periods of wakefulness, I put out a distress call. It was something like a high-power, emphatic grunt, but it was picked up and responded to. And so I found myself in contact with Interplanar Talent Agent Ralph."

Ralph waved from off to one side, where he was apparently talking to a potted plant. Amethyst continued. "During my waking periods, I planned out the tournament, being careful to let the Lord of Hell know nothing. I let Ralph have some control over where the tournament would take you, but my plan was for you to be gently built up and strengthened by your experiences. Rio de Janeiro, for instance, had a bodybuilding competition going on that you would have been urged to take part in.

"But, Hell's Lord saw what we were doing. He changed the round locations, making each one deadlier and deadlier. It is a testament to your strength that none of you died. Finally, Ralph brought five of you before us... I'm afraid I can't tell you what happened there, my memory is patchy at that point, but you may ask one of the five if you want to."

Squaring his shoulders, Amethyst looked around. "But that is in the past. It should be remembered, but not dwelt upon. What matters is that you are all here, now, with me. You have all helped me in one way or another, and for that I thank you. Now it is time to enjoy yourselves. Welcome to Baccarat. To thank you for your help, I give you both this area to relax in, and some other compensation. Each of you, sentient companions included, will find on you a card giving you access and credit to all attractions here, including free rooms, meals, drinks, and tokens. The staff has been advised to restrict a few of you," he glanced at Bud and Lisa, "to soda pop and fruit juice, and have been warned that others might drink them dry." A glance at Conker, this time.

He continued, "When you are ready to leave, come see me. I'm afraid I can't give you all the heart's desire that was promised to some of you, but I can at least award some measure of it to the final five. The rest of you will be leaving here with an item or bit of knowledge that may help you on your individual quests.

"So relax, enjoy, and thank you all once again."

---

Location: Baccarat, SaGa Frontier

Baccarat is an enormous hotel, bar, restaurant, and casino. It's rather subdued and stylish, with rich burgundy and jade carpeting and wood-panelled walls. A steady stream of upbeat jazz is piped in through concealed speakers, potted plants lie in various corners, and a large spiral staircase as well as an elevator allows access to all the floors. Beneath the casino is a parking garage and, below that, a cave system with some monsters in it.

The waitresses and other female attendants in this casino are all dressed in bunnygirl outfits. Male personnel are in tuxedos. Otherwise, it's rather like any casino. Slot machines, roulette wheel, etc. The hotel rooms are amply furnished. Enjoy yourselves.

When you're ready to leave, Amethyst will give you, like he said, a small item or bit of information. For Master Chief, this might be a data disk with information on the current location of all Covenant forces. For Bud and Lisa, perhaps a bag of pumpkin seeds and a blonde Legolas wig for Guri. The final five will get as close as can be to what was promised them when they were drafted. If you want to talk to me about what he can or can't grant, go ahead.

Awards Ceremony
On June 28th, I will have the awards ceremony. Until that time, you may nominate people for the following awards:
Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence - Who had us rolling in the aisles?
Best Dramatic Performance - Who had us reaching for a tissue? (To wipe our eyes with, you perverts!)
Best Sig/Avatar - Who gave Van Gogh a run for his money?
Best Friendship/Alliance - Who exemplified the phrase "Plays well with others?"
Best Omake - Burn, baby, burn! Genbu Inferno!
Best Fluffy Sidekick - It's all about the cute things.
Best Romance - Was there any romance? Oh, well, go ahead and vote for this anyway.
Best Rivalry - Who kept at each other, round after round?
Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award - I'm not even sure anyone's eligible for this. You all torched things pretty well.
Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue - Occasionally, you can't help but stop and think. Who took this to extremes?
Best Continuing Storyline - EDIT: Apparently it's not that self-explanatory. Which reprisal gave us the best story to tie together their previous portrayal(s)?
One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds - I think we all have some idea of who this should go to, right? The one who refused to give up, who fought on against all odds.
Best Turnabout (Hero to villain or vice versa) - Who suddenly began stabbing babies or hugging puppies?
Best Change (Other) - Whose character changed over the course of this tournament to where they might barely be recognizable?
Best Hero - Who slew the dragon and kissed the damsel?
Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy - Who slew the damsel and kissed the dragon?
Best Duel - Quite a lot of competition for this one this time around, you've all done such good work.
Best Viscerotonic - Who exemplified a Zen-like balance?
Best Cerebrotonic - Who thought before they fought?
Best Musculotonic - GENBU SMASH!
Most Original Interpretation of an Existing Character - Who has taken a character and made them their own in such a way that we can't help but see their influence when we look at their canon performance?

In addition, there will be a few math-based prizes handed out by me. Each prize has been carefully and lovingly hand-designed by me, using only the finest recycled materials.
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Rain · Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 1:45 am Post subject:

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence - Sly Cooper, easily.
Best Dramatic Performance - The Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Malak.
Best Sig/Avatar - I was quite partial to Akira's.
Best Friendship/Alliance - Sly and Ketairo
Best Omake - I darenot mention...
Best Fluffy Sidekick - Guri.
Best Romance - Um...no.
Best Rivalry - Cyan and Red.
Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award - Ralph tried to keep the place tidy...heh?
Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue - Self-vote here.
Best Continuing Storyline - Not familiar with who is reprising and who isn't, so I'll abstain.
One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds - Jedah, for taking 3 badasses at once Very Happy

Best Turnabout (Hero to villain or vice versa) - I'll get back with this one, as well.
Best Change (Other) - See above.
Best Hero - Cyan.
Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy - Jedah.
Best Duel - Cyan and Red, with Master Chief overseeing while ninjas battled in the burning city. How badass is that?
Best Viscerotonic - Gonna have to review the list.
Best Cerebrotonic - Gonna have to review the list.
Best Musculotonic - Gonna have to review the list.
Most Original Interpretation of an Existing Character - Jesus, toughest one of all. This is the biggest award, in my opinion, and I think everyone who really actively and avidly participated here will change the way I see the character they sponsored.
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AsylumXKP · Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 3:34 am Post subject:

Conker's Deleted Scenes!

Conker sat on a large couch in front of a TV screen. With remote in hand, he was flipping the channels. He turned around and waved to the audience that resided on the other side.

"Hey kids, due to work, sleep issues, post continuity, and general slacking off, there were MANY ideas that were scrapped!" The squirrel got into a more comfortable seating position. "And now, it's time to show you some of them."

"This is entitled 'Jedah Takes Conker's Soul' from Round One. This one was lost due to RI crashing, and the post going bye bye. Then, the whole 'Barfight Scene' happened and could not be put back due to continuity."

There was static on the TV, then finally appeared a DVD menu.

Deleted Scene 1 - Jedah Takes Conker's Soul. (Round 1)

The front automatic door of the bar opened up revealing the red squirrel. He looked around and the rusty room was empty save the bartender. Smiling a bit, Conker made his way to a barstool and placed two hands on the bar.

Now the bartender, let's call him Roy because it's shorter, is in pretty bad shape. Sweat covers his face and his eyes are still partially bloodshot. Maybe drinking all day wasn't a good idea. He heard two paws connect to the table and slowly spun his head about.

"What kin I get yooooo..." slurred Roy.

"One scotch. One whiskey. And one beer." said Conker.

It's not all too common to see a freaking talking giant red squirrel aboard the Thames that's for certain. Maybe smoking all that weed wasn't a good idea.

"Suuure." Roy slurred again then got the drinks.

Half a stock room later...

"So, I says to the guy, I says 'Give him the stick.' okay." said Conker, his voice barely comprehensable "And then Rodent slowly hands him the stick so I yell 'DON'T GIVE HIM THE STICK!'"

The two laughed as Conker fell from the stool.

"HO boy!" said Conker getting up. "Well, it was great talking to yoos, ah've got to go now. Bye bye." Conker stumbled off to the left and into the restroom.

"Whoops, this way..." he stumbled to the right and towards the door.

"Hey, hey! Wait a minute..." said the wasted bartender. "You forgot to uh... table-- no, tab. You gotta pay your tab-bill thingy."

"Oh right." Conker went back and sat back down at the bar. "Let's see..." Conker reached into his pockets but came out with nothing.

"I left them in mah other pants!" Conker laughed aloud, slapping the table. "Get it, my other pants, old excuse, but it's really happened?" He laughed some more.

"I'll pay it." said a calm voice. Conker raised his head and nearly had a heart attack. Next to him was Jedah who popped out of nowhere.

"WHOA!" the squirrel fell off his stool.

To Roy, it's one thing to see a talking squirrel, but this blue demon thingy... That takes the cake. Maybe doing that coke line was a bad idea.

"You'll pick up my tab?" said Conker as he made his way back onto the stool.

"I sure will. But it will cost you... YOUR SOUL!" said Jedah, dramatically.

Conker blinked. "That's it? Works for me!"

"Great... I just need you to sign right here..." Jedah snickered as he pulled out a piece of paper. Pulling out a pen, Conker prepared to sign his signature. Lord Dohma grabbed his hand to stop him.

"No, you need to sign it in your own blood." Jedah paused. "It's delicate paper and ink smears too much."

"Okay." This time he grabbed a syringe from his person and jabbed himself in the arm. After withdrawing a small amount of blood he placed his signature on the paper. Jedah smiled and rolled it up. Conker turned around to grab a plate.

"Now it's your turn to make with the dea-- That was quick." said Conker as he turned around to see Roy sliced in half. Maybe letting a demon pay for someone else's tab was a bad idea.

"And now I take what it mine."

"Here you go, MY ROLL!" Conker offered his plate of rolls.

Jedah's blue palm crashed onto Conker's chest, and gripped hard. Conker flailed his arms about as Jedah pulled out a green squirrel tail. Jedah pulled some more, struggling. Using the stool as leverage he pulled with all his might and out came a ghostly version of Conker, with a ragged hoody and no legs or feet. The soul flailed his arms about as well, fighting with Jedah. Conker's soul stopped flailing and pulled out a frying pan, whacking Jedah on the head and hovering away.

"Argh." He put a hand on his forehead, rubbing it. "GET BACK HERE!" shouted Jedah. He left the scene to pursue the soul.

Wobbling a bit Conker shook his head around.

"Oh! SOUL! Duh." Conker jumped off the stool and headed to the front door.

"Wait a minute, I'm not drunk anymore! Wow, quickest I've gone from drunk to sober." The squirrel walked right into the automatic door, but it didn't open. He stepped back and waved his arm in the air, stomped on the ground, and cursed at it. It still wouldn't open. Conker backpeddled to the other side of the bar.

On the outside Lisa, Bud, and Guri were walking past the aforementioned door.

*SLAM*

The three looked at the door oddly then warily walked away.

*Fade to black, zoom out*

"Come back later for more deleted scenes!" said Conker, sipping a martini with a Baccarat bunny girl on his lap.
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Thirdtwin · Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 9:18 am Post subject:

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence - Keitaro gets this one.
Best Dramatic Performance - whoo, this is pretty tough for me. I'll say... Cyan.
Best Sig/Avatar - I liked the Knight Rayjack ones
Best Friendship/Alliance - Gah, so many. I think I'll point toward Cyan's team-up with Master Chief and Red (don't look at me like that >_>)
Best Omake - K-dawg
Best Fluffy Sidekick - Mokona
Best Romance - ...mih, romance?
Best Rivalry - I'll get back to you on that.
Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award - Yeah, we all wrecked stuff. Guess you could probably give it to the people who didn't do any damage at all, so I'll hand a vote to Yoshi here
Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue - see "Best Rivalry"
Best Continuing Storyline - Shizumaru Hisame
One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds - hee >_>
Best Turnabout (Hero to villain or vice versa) - Does a "hero-to-villain-to-hero" count? If so, then Drizzt gets my vote.
Best Change (Other) - I actually can't think of any characters who became so far removed as to be unrecognizable, but as far as progressive development and stuff like that, I think Nova had a lot.
Best Hero - I'll have to sit on this one too
Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy - Darth Malak
Best Duel - ...and this one...
Best Viscerotonic - Shizumaru Hisame
Best Cerebrotonic - Lisa
Best Musculotonic - Drizzt Do'urden
Most Original Interpretation of an Existing Character - Shizumaru Hisame
_________________
TT

Thanks to JSG for the r4wkin' banner

Seril · Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:05 pm Post subject:

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence - Keitaro. Duh.
Best Dramatic Performance - Cyan, definatly.
Best Sig/Avatar - Sly's piqued my interested for some reason.
Best Friendship/Alliance - Nova x Shizumaru! (Yeeeah. :p)
Best Omake - Shizumaru. Damn his harem!
Best Fluffy Sidekick - Mokona
Best Romance - Nova x Sora! xD xD xD (Don't shoot plz :\)
Best Rivalry - Guri vs. Mokona. It wasn't there much, but it was! Honest!
Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award - Toadette.
Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue - Since I have reservations against voting for myself (;p) Shizumaru gets it.
Best Continuing Storyline - Shizumaru.
One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds - Keitaro. HE WAS WEAPONLESS FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! :p
Best Turnabout (Hero to villain or vice versa) - Ditto on TT's comment.
Best Change (Other) - Nova. Considering the fact that she managed to do a complete 180 WHILE continuing her Rayearth storyline means major brownie points.
Best Hero - Red/Alkaiser. Uh, yeeeah. You should know why :p
Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy - Jedah, for the short time he was in he was the baddest ass villain around.
Best Duel - We had duels? Oh, right. I'll get back to you on this one.
Best Viscerotonic - Shizumaru.
Best Cerebrotonic - Lisa.
Best Musculotonic - Drizzt.
Most Original Interpretation of an Existing Character - Culex.
_________________

That's a secret!

Moogle · Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 9:20 pm Post subject:

It was a dangerous time for Keitaro Urashima. Sure, it was a dangerous time before that, too, what with the whole fighting the Lord of Hell who had merged with some kind of archmage on his own turf, and subsequently (apparently) getting killed and resurrected. No, it was a dangerous time for Keitaro precisely because of that. He was starting to feel a bit lucky.

Normally this might result in him accidentally stripping Naru down to her lingerie with a single trip and grab of his hand while trying to catch his balance. And so normally all that would come of it would be a good smiting, and that was the kind of thing he was used to. This under normal circumstances. Needless to say, it was not normal circumstances.

Keitaro was feeling lucky and he was in a casino. It was a dangerous time, indeed.

Everywhere he looked, he could practically smell victory. Poker tables, blackjack tables, craps tables, slot machines, roulette wheels... the sights and sounds he could see and hear at each equaled victory in his mind. So he started to play.

And play is exactly what he did. He floated from table to table, from section to section, and everywhere he went he left behind him a trail of victory. Yes, Keitaro Urashima was winning, and that made it even more dangerous.

At poker, even against wily old card sharks, he rarely got anything below a flush, and when he did, he bluffed when he needed to bluff and he bluffed well. The bluffs of others he called (and usually beat outright) and the amount of money he had began to build. Nor could the house stop him, not at poker.

Then it was blackjack. He hit when he needed a hit, stood when he needed to stand. Several times he had a chance to double down, and on nearly all of these he managed to achieve a 21 on both of the sets of cards. The house could not stop him, not at blackjack.

At the slot machines, every coin he put in was good for a win. No, the house could not stop him, not at the slot machines. So it continued on and on through his ventures through the craps tables and the roulette tables as well.

It was in the middle of all of this winning that he was approached by a very well-dressed man, clearly the casino manager, who was coming around to shmooze with the high-rollers. Clearly, this included Keitaro at that time.

"We have a double-or-nothing arrangement," the man said as he approached Keitaro. "That is, if you feel lucky enough."

"I'm listening..."

"Beat me at Pong. Yes... Pong. If you win, you double your earnings. If you lose, the house takes it all back. What do you say?"

Pong was a game that Keitaro played and played and played some more when he was younger. It was the first 'game' that he ever played. He could beat anyone at Pong, any time, and anywhere, and he was perfectly willing to prove it to this casino manager.

So they went and they played Pong. It was announced to the whole casino, broadcast all over the place, put up on the televisions, the whole nine yards. The match itself, though, was in some kind of office, very luxurious considering its whole purpose was for these Pong challenges.

Everything was going well for Keitaro. Then the game started and suddenly his paddle was not working. He checked it to make sure it worked while they were warming up, and it did work. But when the game started it did not work. He lost instantly.

As he sunk down into the chair, silently fuming (because he was convinced that the casino manager had somehow sabotaged the paddle,) on all of the TVs in the casino, a subtitle flashed underneath his picture as it seemed that everybody laughed:

KEITARO URASHIMA
LOSER

Swearing revenge, he walked back out into the casino itself, devoid of all of the money he'd won, but if nothing else back to his usual self and no longer thinking he might be lucky.
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Seril · Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 9:35 pm Post subject:

On an unknown floor in the hotel, two figures stepped forward. Only one of them would win, the loser banished forever. This shall be their final battle, told in the history as a major event in high school textbooks. The duel decided by a simple card game, tested by skill of the cards and mastery in the art of BS.

The two figures stared at each other, dead stone faces, neither willing to be the one to turn away first. This continued on for what seemed like an eternity, the crowd roaring and cheering for their favorite duelist. Finally, one of the duelists smirked. He shuffled his deck quickly and slammed it down on the table in front of him. The other did the same.

Finally, one of them spoke, "Yugi! It's time we finished this once and for all!"

The other figure replied, "Yes Kaiba! It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-what the heck is that!?" Yugi pointed to what appeared to be a white marshmallow with a red gem on the top of it. The little creature waved and exclaimed, "Puu!" At that exact moment, a black cat leapt from out of nowhere and began mauling Yugi's face. "The pain! THE UNBEARABLE PAIN!"

On the other side of the table, a scantily-clad Yuffie walked up next to Kaiba, who exclaimed, "I..I've never touched a girl before." A short WATTAK later, Yugi and Kaiba were on the floor.

Ralph walked up to the two, muttering, "How did these two get into this dimension?" Punching a few buttons on his handheld, the two duelists disappeared. Ralph looked over to Shizumaru, who was soon surrounded by Kisaragi Yuffie, Alma Beoulve, Princess Mint, and Rimururu, all scantily-clad. Then to Asuka, surrounded by various mascots from different dimensions, and sighed. "They did save the multiverse," he mentioned to nobody in particular, "I'll let them have their fun. For now at least." Ralph took a front row seat which just happened to have its occupant removed within the last few seconds, put his hands on his lap, and watched the show unravel.

Shizumaru and Asuka both sat down at the table, shoving off the decks of cards that were already on the table, and putting two different decks of mismatched and mis-sized cards down.

"It's time," said Asuka as he drew seven and a half cards.

"Yeah, it is," said Alma, drawing Shizumaru's cards for him.

ROUND ONE! FIGHT-U!

==

If you have a problem with this being too omake-ish, just tell yourself it never happened. :p
_________________

That's a secret!

Procyon · Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 2:29 am Post subject: 8-1

The fight with Malak and his lackey wasn't easy - but in the end, all four of us decided to call it a day. I've never been one to just let the bad guys walk away - but maybe, just maybe, they'd learned something. So I shrugged, and, looking deep into the mysterious Quartz Charm that Culex had given to me, we walked away - and prepared for the return to our own worlds.

The tournament was over - me, Malak, Akira, Culex, Keitaro, Drizzt, Chief Jon... just about everybody I'd met had fought alongside or against each other for the last time. The Mage of Hell was defeated, and Amethyst restored. I'd had a few close calls, made some friends and enemies, and learned a few lessons - not to mention my pack would be coming back to France just a little heavier than it left.

But my story isn't done just yet...

---

"Anything to eat, Monsieur Cooper?"

Sly woke up to find himself in the middle of a busy room, surrounded with what appeared to be a bizarre mix of blood-spattered, battle-worn sponsors from the tournament and a number of elegantly dressed humans... plus a few in what appeared to be suits intended to make them look like rabbits. A tall man in a fancy tuxedo and white gloves looked at the thief, as he leaned over to hold a large silver tray toward him, revealing an assortment of very expensive-looking baked goods and small desserts. Not exactly accustomed to being given anything, Sly looked around for a second before randomly grabbing a few items and stuffing them in his mouth.

"And of course, the catering table is just over there." The waiter pointed to a long table covered in metal trays, dishes, and a wide array of decorations of leaves, crystal, and the occasional ice sculpture.

Sly nodded slowly and walked over to the table. Oddly, he could hardly remember the last time he had anything to eat, and yet was not that hungry. However, the raccoon had no difficulty sampling a broad arrange of items... not to mention the occasional piece of silverware that ended up in his pocket.

Unfortunately, though, the enterprise of making the occasional fork disappear behind the waiters' backs got boring rather quickly - surely this hotel would have within it something actually befitting of a Cooper's talents to steal. Sly made his way through the crowd that had gathered around the food and walked toward the exit to the ballroom and into the main hallway. And, right to his left, the words printed on a sign above the doorway were more than enough to fulfill Sly's highest expectations:

CASINO

The sounds of dice rolling, wheels spinning, and slot machines tumbling ringing like music in his ears, Sly casually made a beeline for the doorway. Unfortunately, just as Sly reached the entrance, two rather burly men in tuxedos stepped out from the shadows of the dark casino room and directly in his way - forcing Sly to come to an abrupt halt.

"Hey, you guys realize this is a doorway, right?" Sly made a gesture with his arms to indicate that they clear out of the way.

"Sorry," said the man on the left in a deep voice. "You can't enter."

"Hm..." Sly raised himself on his tiptoes to try to see inside - and failing that (the bouncers were just too tall) quickly craned his neck and body to look around them, getting a quick glimpse of slot machines, roulette wheels, blackjack tables - the whole place was swarming with people. "I'd say the place looks open. You guys know how to tell time, right? The little hand tells you the hour, and -"

"It ain't open to you. Now beat it," the bouncer said sternly.

"What - You're afraid my stylish outfit will make your penguin suits look bad in there?"

"Boss says the masked rat stays out. Argue and you get hurt. Now get out of my sight!"

Sly crossed his arms slightly. "Well, I can do that easily, if all you'll do is turn arou-"

- CRASH -

Sly found himself awkwardly against the wall - oriented upside down, his head along the floor with most of the rest of his body pressed against the glass of the large glass window - a good twenty feet from the entrance.

"Ugh..." Sly did a somersault to rise back on his feet, and glanced at the chuckling bouncers as they receded back into the dark casino. Meatheads - did they really think they were going to keep him out of that place? Sly rose to his feet again and brushed himself off. He'd show them a thing or two about who wasn't allowed inside.

But Sly's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a familiar scream, and the thief looked up just in time to see a familiar young man flying through the air right towards him - and there was another loud crash as Keitaro landed in a heap right next to him.

"If ya don't got any money anymore, ya ain't welcome. Come back when you get s'more cash, kid." The two bouncers laughed to each other and disappeared again into the casino.

Groaning, Keitaro rose to his feet and sat down again, huddled in a crouch against the wall with an exasperated expression across his face.

"Hey, Keitaro, long time no see... " Sly said - but Keitaro just frowned, not even looking up. "Hey, what's up with you?"

"...Nothing!" he said, somewhat angrily.

"Whoa." Sly hopped back about a foot. "OK, let me guess then - you lost all your money in there."

"I was cheated! The whole thing was rigged, I swear it! I... hmph, oh well, it's not like this is anything new." He scuffed at the carpet with his shoe a few times.

"And, how'd you let that happen?" Sly asked.

"Well, I was winning all this money, see; and out of nowhere the manager says I can get double or nothing over a game of Pong. So, yeah, I'm pretty good at Pong, so I go right ahead, and -"

"You lost."

"Well, my machine broke, that's what. They cheated me!"

"Hm...." Sly tapped his cane a few times against his shoe. "Doesn't surprise me. These casinos are all the same - just looking to get your wallet and out the door while a few fat-cats at the top get rich. Everything's rigged."

Keitaro fumed, not saying anything in response.

"Fortunately, there is a way to restore a bit of equity..." Sly looked toward Keitaro, smiling slightly.

"You don't mean..." Keitaro trailed off.

Sly nodded.

"You know how to fix a broken Pong game?"

Sly... stopped nodding and buried his head in his hands.

"No," the raccoon said. "We're going to steal your money back. With interest."

Keitaro flinched slightly. "Steal it back? Are you serious?"

"Hey, I'm a thief. This is what I do!"

"But... don't they keep all their money locked up way upstairs where nobody can get to it?"

Sly nodded, and beckoned the young man toward him, whispering the plan into Keitaro's ear.

(To be continued...)

Moogle · Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 12:14 pm Post subject:

And voting for awards, before I forget.

(Edited to add in the comedy award, which I somehow missed from my initial cut-paste.)

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence - Sly Cooper was the straight man without which a lot of the Keitaro humor would not have worked.
Best Dramatic Performance - Who gave us Wrexsoul? Cyan.
Best Sig/Avatar - He didn't really participate, but the Khrima stuff looked good.
Best Friendship/Alliance - Obviously, Shizumaru, Akira, Asuka, and Lisa, or whoever the R-vote chainers were. :P
Best Omake - Switchblade
Best Fluffy Sidekick - Only a few of us actually took fluffies... and none of those really stood out.
Best Romance - None of the above.
Best Rivalry - I thought Cyan and Red did the best.
Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award - I guess I'll go with the consensus no-vote.
Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue - I can't remember any specific good ones right now, heh.
Best Continuing Storyline - As none of the reprisals were from tournaments I participated in, I'll abstain here.
One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds - Lisa had the greatest single-round healing effort, and it almost got her into the finals.
Best Turnabout (Hero to villain or vice versa) - Is Akira usually a good guy? (Is Akira even a guy? o_o) Well, either way, Akira gets my vote here.
Best Change (Other) - Not knowing most of the characters, I don't think I'm qualified to vote here, either.
Best Hero - Cyan Garamonde would have made any honorable knight proud.
Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy - Easily, Darth Malak.
Best Duel - The best duel in the whole tournament was in the final round, with Culex and Sly vs. Malak and Akira.
Best Viscerotonic - Cyan Garamonde
Best Cerebrotonic - Culex
Best Musculotonic - Drizzt
Most Original Interpretation of an Existing Character - Wayne took Culex from an optional boss who has no development other than to fight the party in Super Mario RPG and created a whole backstory and personality for him, that made him out to be not such a bad guy anyway. Hands down the winner of this award.
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Procyon · Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 4:19 pm Post subject: 8-2

"Sounds like a plan?" Sly turned to Keitaro.

Keitaro shrugged. "I'll do my best, but I just know something's going to go wrong."

"Relax, I've got everything covered. Just follow what I told you, and everything will be fine. If you run into any trouble, all you've got to do is..."

Sly trailed off as he noticed a man in a tuxedo walking directly towards them.

"Whatever you do... don't say anything."

"Good evening," the man said, "Mr. Urashima and Mr. Cooper, I presume."

The two of them nodded.

"So pleased that you've been able to join us this evening at the Hotel Baccarat. I hope you've been having a good time so far?"

"You guys've got quite the place here," Sly replied. "And, yeah, it's been just fantastic - oh, except for those thugs and cheaters over in the casino."

"Terribly sorry, Mr. Cooper; but it is hotel policy not to allow anybody who makes his life out of stealing inside the casino facility. Of course, you're free to roam anywhere else about the premises."

"Well, considering that your whole enterprise consists of stealing people's money with rigged games, I'm wondering how any of your cronies get in there in the first place. But hey, anywhere? Maybe I'll take you up on that offer."

"Hmph." The man narrowed his eyes slightly. "Anyway, I have merely come to deliver you these ballots. Please complete them as soon as possible and return to front desk. Have a good day." The man turned around and took a few steps before he hesitated, and swiveled around momentarily to face Sly. "And Mr. Cooper - don't try anything."

-----

Awards Votes

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence
Moogle's Keitaro showed there is a gold mine of humor in getting your own character repeatedly owned. (Edit: Though, Luna's Lisa also deserves points for sheer zany comedy. I'll have to think about this one.)

Best Dramatic Performance
Cyan was easily my favorite serious character.

Best Sig/Avatar
This is a difficult one - but I think I'm going to nominate Rain's signature on account of the very cool vicious-looking snarling panther in the background.

Best Friendship/Alliance
The rather unexpected, continuing relationship between Malak and Akira (Draco and Kyo) was the most interesting sustained interaction of the tournament.

Best Omake
XKP's Conker. You can never go wrong with beer jokes!

Best Fluffy Sidekick
Everybody's favorite Guri (Luna).

Best Romance
Has this award ever been given to anybody in any tournament? ... OK, I bet it has. Though tell the truth, I was planning to have Sly kind of joke-flirt with a female sponsor in the same way he does in the game; but there was really only one suitable target, and she was underneath a skull helmet and busy being corrupted to the Dark Side, heh.

Best Rivalry
I shall agree with the others so far and say Cyan (Magus) and Red (Thirdtwin).

Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award
Easily Batman (Coin), who kept stopping Sly from pillaging the round locations.

Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue
An award for introversion - that is, not interacting with other sponsors? I abstain on principle, heh.

Best Continuing Storyline
I have seen so few of the original versions of the reprisals that I don't think I'm qualified to vote. Thirdtwin as Red did the best job at forming a continuous story among the ones I was aware of, however.

One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds
Moogle's Keitaro by a mile - despite his harmlessness and defenselessness, Keitaro not only survived up to the finals, but was chosen by Ralph to help take down the final boss! (Bonus points for unleashing 50 points of offense in the semifinals and not getting a single counterattack.)

Best Turnabout (Hero to villain or vice versa)
Akira (Kyo) and her path to the Dark Side, of course.

Best Change (Other)
This category confuses me...

Best Hero
Cyan (Magus), heroic knight of Doma.

Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy
It's almost by default - most of the other villains dropped after Round 2 - but Draco did a great job with the sinister Darth Malak that could have won this award even with some stronger competition.

Best Duel
Everybody's allowed one self-vote, heh. I wrote a relatively small portion of it anyway, so I nominate the extended fight between Culex and Sly vs. Malak and Akira, planned and executed primarily by Wayne and San Draco.

Best Viscerotonic
Surely the balanced and well-rounded Cyan, Magus's best portrayal ever!

Best Cerebrotonic
Culex (Wayne) and his emotionless, crystalline logic exemplified this class.

Best Musculotonic
Str value of 13 or not, Rain's portrayal of Drizzt Do'urden showed how to properly apply the power of brawn.

Most Original Interpretation of an Existing Character
I have to give this one to Wayne's Culex, who went far, far beyond what I thought would be an incredibly restrictive sponsor choice (a mega-boss without background that goes around fighting people, and not much else) to create a truly interesting character with his own backstory, personality, and motivations.

Alice · Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 4:24 pm Post subject: Re: 8-2

FnordFromAbove · Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 6:16 pm Post subject:

Well, despite my relative lack of actual participation in this tournament, I have been reading. So without any further ado...

*Chairman Kaga voiceover*: And now, the verdict.

Note: as usual, I have a very difficult time making up my mind. So don't be surprised that some of the categories aren't here.

Best Dramatic Performance - Hmm...Cyan or Shizumaru? Decisions, decisions... (abstain)
Best Sig/Avatar - I liked Khrima's a lot. The one evil orange...TO RULE THEM ALL!
Best Fluffy Sidekick - The one place I actually deserve a self-vote. Paratroopa pwns all your puny sidekicks.
Best Romance - Umm...romance?
Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award - Why is it that I always tend to agree with Procyon? Batman, for the reason highlighted by Proc.
Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue -
Best Continuing Storyline - I know zilch about the reprisals, since none of them (save Jedah) were from SXIII. Abstain.
One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds - Keitaro. Duh.
Best Change (other) - Akira, for seeing the Dark Side and embracing it.
Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy - Malak by a lot. I mean, come on: he successfully converted someone to the Dark Side. How much more evil can you get?
Best Duel - So many good choices. So many... *spasms* Dead...

(translation: abstention)

EDIT: changed the vote for Akira's development to the appropriate category

Yuri · Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 8:03 pm Post subject:

Revan finds a random hot chick at the casino and passionately kisses her on the mouth.

"The Force is strong with you," Revan said with a smirk on his face.

"Oh my!" the young lady replied with a giggle.

"Let me see how strong you are in the ways of the Force... in private. Wink

"

"Ok. Let's go to my hotel room. Tee hee. The Sweatdrop

"

Use your imagination from there.

There's your best romance, BITCH!

Switchblade · Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 8:13 pm Post subject:

Bastila saw Revan making out with a random hot chick.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked.

Revan looked guilty and stepped away from the random hot chick. "I, uh..."

"Come on," Bastila said. "I'm the only one going to that hotel room with you."

Revan led Bastila to his hotel room. They sat down on the bed, got comfortable, looked deeply into each others' eyes and...

Bastila spent the next five hours telling Revan about the dangers of giving in to the Dark Side.

Razz

_________________

Seril · Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 9:43 pm Post subject:

The means by which Bastilla "told" Revan involved leather. There was no safety word this time.
_________________

That's a secret!

Wayne · Reverend Strawman Joined: 02 Jul 2002 Posts: 494

"We've secretly swapped Bastila for another Jennifer Hale character, Fall-From-Grace the Succubus. Let's see what happens when Revan tries to kiss her!"

Peptuck · Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 9:50 pm Post subject:

Actually, SXII had a bit of romance between Washu and Sephiroth. Then again, considering what I've seen from SXI onwards, that minor bit of flirting was about it in the romance department.
_________________

Yuri · Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:08 pm Post subject:

Magus · Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 12:36 am Post subject:

Awards first, as I don't plan on writing Cyan's ending anytime soon.

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence
I'm honestly divided in this one. On one side, we have Lisa, who entertained me throughout the whole tournament, and on the other we have Keitaro, who did the same. If I can't vote for both, then I'll probably have to abstain on this one.

Best Dramatic Performance
TT's Red/Alkaiser, who managed to get me interested in the SaGa series. Honorable mention to Pep's Master Chief, who also kicked major ass and almost convinced me to buy myself an X-Box just so I could play Halo (and KoTR).

Best Sig/Avatar
Rain's Drizzt sig. Not only did it have a bad ass panther on the background, but also showed the character's 'official' stats -- and yes, Drizzt does kicks ass.

Best Friendship/Alliance
So many to choose from, so little room. I'll have to abstain (although, if I really had to choose one, I'd to with Master Chief/Red/Cyan, just because this is the very first alliance/friendship I've ever been a part of. So yeah, sue me if I'm voting for myself here. :p)

Best Omake
Sly's panty raid -- as well as pretty much everything else he did that round.

Best Fluffy Sidekick
Guri. As if there were a better fluffy sidekick out there.

Best Romance
No.

Best Rivalry
I'll abstain on that one. I've voted for myself once already.

Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award
Hm. Hard to tell. People were more busy destroying stuff rather than preserving them, so I'll have to abstain.

Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue
No. (Surprisingly enough, we had a lot of introspective bits in this one... but I don't know on who to vote, really.)

Best Continuing Storyline
Can I vote for Amethyst in this one? I mean, he's been around since RTT and now his Survival story finally ends with this one -- and on a very cool way, I might add.

One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds
Keitaro, definetely. I mean, the guy has no offensive capabilites whatsoever (at least from where Moogle took him from) and got to the finals, being invited by Ralph to face Hell's Lord himself.

Best Turnabout (Hero to villain or vice versa)
I'm going to go with Drizzt on this one. Hell, I need to find those pesky Salvatore novels (or import them) sometime.

Best Change (Other)
Eh... no.

Best Hero
Once again, Rain's Drizzt gets this award from me.

Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy
Draco's Malak. Even when Jedah was actually around, Draco did a wonderful job (and along with Peptuck, made me want to buy an X-Box to play KoTR).

Best Duel
What Procyon said. Culex and Sly (with Crystals assist) vs Malak and Akira (with Dark Force assist) on the final round.

Best Viscerotonic
Hm. I'm almost sure that most people only chose this 'type' for gameplay reasons rather than actual storyline purposes. If I had to vote, I'd go with Procyon's Sly, who was probably the only one that didn't.

Best Cerebrotonic
Three way tie for me... Culex, Lisa or Malak? In the end, I choose neither for it would be unfair to do so.

Best Musculotonic
There are also a few people that chose Musculotonic and did quite well. However, I have to choose Pep's Master Chief for this one after the great job displayed throughout the tournament.

Most Original Interpretation of an Existing Character
Wayne's Culex. The guy knew James Bond! Like Procyon mentioned, his portrayal of Culex added a lot of depth to that evil optional boss (whom I've never managed to defeat to this day ;_ Wink

and it kicked major democrat.
_________________

San Draco · Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 2:07 am Post subject:

Ah, it's vote time again. Let's see what we've got here...

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence: For the out-and-out wackiness of the characters, Lisa and Bud get this award (just barely edging out Urashima Keitaro.)
Best Dramatic Performance: I'll have to follow the trend and vote for Cyan Garamonde: then again, Magus has done quite a bit to earn this award.
Best Sig/Avatar: Considering that I have no artistic criticism skills, I must abstain.
Best Friendship/Alliance: Definately the team of Shizumaru, Akira, Nova, and Red Okonogi. (Although I'd still give honorable mention to the completely unexpected Akira and Malak partnership.)
Best Omake: Considering that I don't actually read most omakes, I abstain.
Best Fluffy Sidekick: Unfortunately, HK-47 didn't actually do anything. Therefore, my vote goes to Guri.
Best Romance: As has been pointed out, there really wasn't any romance this time around. One day, though...
Best Rivalry: Cyan vs. Red, though there were quite a few choices (and pseudo-choices, as well.)
Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award: Once again, it has been pointed out that most of the people that participated were nearly on par with Godzilla in sheer destructive power.
Best Inner Monologue: I abstain on principle, though I'd vote for Tachibana Asuka otherwise.
Best Continuing Storyline: I abstain, since it's hard to define "best" in this situation: all of the people who reprised and participated extensively (a surprisingly small number, though,) advanced both their character and their own writing, making it impossible to judge.
One-Man Army Award: Surprisingly, I don't give this award to Urashima Keitaro (I've learned that, sometimes, it's the pathetic ones that you must watch out for.) Instead, I abstain, as no one really "went it alone" that I saw.
Best Turnabout: I give this one to Drizzt Do'Urden, since he did a complete 360-degree spin, alignment-wise.
Best Change: This one, however, goes to Akira Kazama, since the change to the Dark side was permanent.
Best Hero: Who else could it be given to but Cyan Garamonde?
Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy: Since I'm saving the vote for myself for another category, I'll nominate Jedah for this one.
Best Duel: Malak and Akira against Culex and Sly Cooper. Yes indeed.
Best Viscerotonic: I'll give this to Hisame Shizumaru, for reasons that are self-apparent.
Best Cerebrotonic: Hm... "Thought before attacking..." I suppose that would be Bud, as the rest of us were (incredible as it sounds) more rash than he.
Best Musculotonic: Master Chief most definately smashed, and was Peptuck's most inspired performance to date.
Most Original Interpretation: I'll hand this to Wayne's Culex. You did extremely well this time, even if you had to include Peorth.

Baka · Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 3:12 am Post subject:

Not one sig nomination? I am upset.

(XD)

I don't particularly feel I'm in a position to nominate people for awards...
_________________

Baka // Black Angel // Salva Nos

AsylumXKP · Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 10:21 am Post subject:

Conker's Deleted Scenes!

"Hello again!" Conker waved, still with a martini in hand and bunny girl on lap. "That last scene was going to follow into a possible Pac-Man parody, then end with Jedah absorbing the soul, getting intoxicated from all the liquor it stored, then giving it back to me."

The squirrel took a sip then continued. "This next one is a short, and deals with myself meeting Kingdom Hearts 2 Mickey Mouse. For those of you who've seen the trailer/screen shots you'll notice he's wearing a black trenchcoat and mask. This of course leads to some name calling and a special appearance from another character! Let's watch."

Deleted Scene 2 - Ninja Conker VS Ninja Mickey (Round 3)

Conker plummeted from the roof and landed on his face in the damp grass. He struggled to pull himself up and saw a ninja ahead of him. A ninja with big ass ears.

"Ha ha! You okay guy?" said the high pitched ninja.

The two look at each other oddly. Conker was still wearing his trenchcoat and ninja mask. The ninja was also wearing a black trench coat and ninja mask.

"Why are you trying to steal my style?" said Conker. He placed his hands on his hips.

"Me? You're the one stealing mine!"

"That voice sounds familiar... Mickey?"

The two removed their masks.

"Oh. Conker. Look, just because you have ONE game to your name doesn't mean can go around acting like me." said Mickey.

"Oh please. You saw me in BFD and thought 'Hey, I'll steal Conker's looks! Everyone's doing the whole black trenchcoat thing now!' Like that mask even MAKES you mysterious." Conker rolled his eyes.

"HA! Oh that's funny. At least Kingdom Hearts outsold all your games combined."

"AT LEAST I DIDN'T GO OUT WITH MY TITLESS CLONE WEARING A BOW AND SKIRT!"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Mickey pulled out his keyblade.

"MAKE ME!" Conker unsheathed his katana.

"Hey, bitches." said Neo walking onto the scene. "I think you're copying me here."

The two mascots lowered their weapons and looked at the ground sheepishly.

"I mean come on, I started the whole black thing and now everybody is doing it. You for instance, Mr. Unoriginality," Neo pointed at Conker. "Can't even come up with your own story. The Jaws, Terminator, Matrix, Saving Private Ryan scenes? Please."

"Ha ha!" laughed Mickey.

"Don't even get me started on you. Ever since the 90's you've been a washout mascot for a billion dollar company that slowly tries to kill you off. Trying to act 'Cool' is failing for you. People only bought KH because they are pathetic Square/Cloud/Squall/Sephiroth fanboys. Now I've got to go before your gayness spreads. Peace out." The One left the group.

Mickey and Conker waited for him to leave before yelling "REVOLUTIONS SUCKED ASS!" and running away.

----------------

"We still have a few more deleted scenes to show, so don't wander too far off!" Conker waved again.
_________________

Yuri · Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 12:20 pm Post subject:

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence - I'm going with Keitaro

Best Dramatic Performance - There were so many good ones, but I'm gonna have to go with Cyan.

Best Sig/Avatar - I liked XKP's Conker sig.

Best Friendship/Alliance - Shizumaru, Akira, Nova, Red, and all other parties involved.

Best Omake - I abstain from this one.

Best Fluffy Sidekick - Guri

Best Romance - Revan and Random girl in the afterparty. It wins by default!

Best Rivalry - Cyan and Red.

Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award - I abstain.

Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue - Abstain from this one, too.

Best Continuing Storyline - And this one.

One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds - Asuka and Nova. Finals in your first tournament? That's quite an accomplishment.

Best Turnabout (Hero to villain or vice versa) - Gonna have to give it to Drizzt.

Best Change (Other) - Akira.

Best Hero - Cyan

Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy - Darth Malak, easily, as his closest competition was only in one round.

Best Duel - Abstained

Best Viscerotonic - Shizumaru

Best Cerebrotonic - Lisa

Best Musculotonic - Drizzt

Most Original Interpretation of an Existing Character - Shizumaru. Carly has done an excellent job of making him her own character this tournament and in past ones.

Procyon · Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 11:09 pm Post subject: 8-3

"Hey, kid. I already told ya - paying customers only."

Keitaro shrugged, and came to a stop as the two guards blocked his way in. "Actually, I just wanted to ask you guys about something."

"Hey Joe, the sucker kid who lost all his cash wants ask us a question! How about that! Fire away, squirt."

Keitaro nodded. "What's the greatest team in sports?"

The first guard didn't hesitate to respond. "Manhattan Spankees. No question."

"Frickin' - god no, not the damn Spankees," the second objected. "Koorong Botox all the way."

"Botox?" The first guard choked back a laugh. "Oh, yeah, Koorong: when was your last championship, huh? 1401, was it? Spankees got 3 championships in just the last 5 years."

"Oh, don't even start with that B.S. - the Spankees buy their damn championships."

"Hey - if you wanna be the best team in the world you need a bit of cash. You can't argue with the results."

"Psssh - frickin' results. Let's talk about this year's results, huh - 320 billion credits payroll and you get taken down in the second round by some dinky team from down in Owmi. I don't call that 'results'. I got only three words for that: Major League Suck.

"I suppose you gotta right to talk about suck, what with the Botox losing for 80 straight. But hey - whenever you get tired of cheering on a loser, come right on down to Spankee Stadium and you might actually see a trophy."

"Major. League. Suck."

"Shut up, Joe."

"No, you shut up!"

"Make me shut up." The two stared at each other for a few seconds before Tim eventually broke the silence.

"Anyway, kid, the answer is - wait, where'd the damn kid just go?"

---

Inside Baccarat's casino, the loud murmur of people's voices mixed with the electronic ringing and bells of slot machines. Sly and Keitaro stood in a dark corner, away from the glare over the gambling tables and machines, as bunny girls bearing large drinks crisscrossed the floor around them.

"OK, we're in," Sly said. "But that was the easy part. Now we've got to find where they keep their money stored..."

"So, how'd you know they were going to argue like that?"

The thief shrugged. "It's the same everywhere. Get them talking about sports, and all of a sudden nothing else matters. Anyway..."

Sly peered around the room. Next to the chips-collection desk was small hallway, at the end of which stood a large, sturdy metal door marked, in large red letters, "Employees Only!!!"

"That one." Sly nodded. "OK, here's what I want you to do this time...."

---

Keitaro knocked loudly on the door, and it opened a tiny crack.

"Hey, can't you read?! No customers back here!"

"Hello - I am... er, Yusuki... Tanaka... of the... local newspaper." Keitaro adjusted his glasses and held out a small, raggedy notepad in front of him.

"The boss doesn't talk to the press. Now beat it!"

"Um... um..." Keitaro thought for a second, "But if you just have a moment, I'd like to get your comment on an upcoming survey done by the paper which certifies that your casino has the loosest slu.. I mean, loosest slots of any major gaming center."

"I told you to bea - wait, really? I thought we rigged the machines so that they... I mean, of course we do!" The door swung open a little wider and a heavy-set, bearded man appeared behind the door. "We've always had the loosest slots and biggest payouts anywhere here at Baccarat. You write that down."

Keitaro nodded nervously. "So um.. can we come inside for a moment and talk to your - "

"No. Now scram!"

"But..." Keitaro looked toward Sly, a major expression of concern on his face. "Um, we really need to -"

Sly's cane came crashing down on the manager's head, and he slumped quietly to the floor, unconscious.

Sly shrugged and took a cautious glance back to make sure nobody had seen the attack. "When all else fails..."

---

"Now..." Sly continued in a whisper as they crept through the empty hallway, carefully pausing before each window, doorway, and intersection to ensure the coast was clear, "We've just got to find where they keep their vault. It's got to be around here somewhere..."

Keitaro was silent. "Hm... er, I'm not sure if I should be here anymore..."

Sly shrugged. "What, you want to go back out the main entrance with Tweedledee and Tweedledum instead?"

"Uh... well, not really."

"Anyway... check it out. Major security." A long hallway in front of them lay darkened, except for a few faint yellow beams that formed a complicated three-dimensional web. "You know what that means..."

"Wait here," Sly cautioned. "So, shall I do this the slow way or the fast way..." He looked forward though the beams, studying their arrangement. "Well, why waste time." He shrugged, took a few steps back - and then, getting a brief running start, flew headlong through the beams, tumbled through the air with a series of flips and spins - and within two seconds had reached the other side without activating a single sensor.

Sly waved to Keitaro through the lasers, and reached for the doorknob.

"Drat." Sly rattled the knob a few times.

"What, it's locked?"

"Yeah. Should have guessed so... there's some sort of keypad." The thief keeled down, staring at the device intently. "This is where I wish I had still been able to contact my code-cracking companion...."

And then, right on cue, a voice sounded over the binocucom. But it wasn't Bentley's...

"... Did somebody mention code cracking?"

Surprised, Sly pulled out the device as quickly as possible, and was quite amazed to see the holographic projection of a virtual woman's face appear in its the display panel.

"Whoa, who the heck are you?" Sly asked.

"Name's Cortana. You've met me before."

Sly was befuddled. He'd met a holographic woman before? "Sorry, I think you have the wrong number."

"I'm Master Chief Jon Sargent's AI system."

"AI, huh?" Sly scratched his back with the cane briefly. "So how'd you find your way into my binocucom?"

"Oh, I'm not in your handheld communication device; I'm just transmitting to it. I've had nothing to do this whole day - Jon seems to want to spend the whole thing sitting on the couch snacking. So I figured I'd investigate the local systems, do a little hacking - opening the communication channel to your device was trivial. Anyway, I'm not here to chat - I just thought you might want to know what the combination was for the room in front of you."

"Combinat - yeah, I'll take the combination."

"It is: 257, 423, 371, 843."

"Whoa, that's a long code... say that again?"

Cortana repeated it, and Sly tapped in the sequence into the keypad. There was a clicking sound, and the door unlocked.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. And I'm out of here now - you're on your own."

Sly nodded, and the screen faded to black. The thief opened the doorway a crack, and looked inside. Unfortunately, they weren't at the target just yet - another long hallway stood in front of them.

"OK, Keitaro - just find a safe place to wait, and I'll be back with you in a hurry. This should only take..."

But Sly trailed off, as his ears perked up at what appeared to be the sound of a door closing nearby. And then Sly and Keitaro both heard voices - rather angry voices - quickly getting louder.

"Ugh, that's bad timing," Sly said. "I don't suppose you can - " he looked in the direction of the main hallway from which they had forked off of.

"Dead end that way," Keitaro replied.

"Shoot... looks you're going to have to come with me."

"Through the lasers?"

"Yeah, yeah - there's no other way!"

The voices got louder, and closer - it seemed as if they might round the corner at any moment.

"Just take a deep breath, visualize the whole thing through your head - and let instinct do the rest."

"Me? Instinct?" Keitaro looked at the thief incredulously.

"Hurry!"

Keitaro nodded nervously, closed his eyes - and charged forward into the sensory web. Sly raised his hand as if to cover his eyes - yet somehow, stumbling back and forth and awkwardly reeling from side to side, the young man managed to pass around beam after beam, jumping and hopping and reeling - and finally, gasping for breath, he found himself right before the raccoon.

"Yes!" Keitaro shouted, rising to his feet as Sly opened the door. "I did-"

But unfortunately, Keitaro had forgot to tie his shoes, and as he tried to raise his foot to take a step forward...

"Whoa!"

Ams flailing, Keitaro tried to regain his balance - and, almost in slow motion, he swung almost a perfect 180 degree turn and tumbled backwards - right into the last sensor beam.

The corridor flashed red, and a loud siren blared.

"That's... not good." Sly said.

"Hey, they're down there!" An angry-looking man appeared at the end of the hall where Keitaro had stood moments ago, pointing toward them.

"Go go go!" Sly shouted, and he and Keitaro rushed through the secure door, slamming it behind them just as the sound of a gun firing shook the hallways.

"Whoa, these guys don't mess around!" Sly yelled, and the two of them dashed down the hallway. Sly quickly reached out and grabbed the first doorknob they passed, appearing to go to some sort of office - locked. And the second - locked. And the third - locked.

Meanwhile, behind them the secure door rattled, and a loud curse sounded over the siren. Finally, Sly opened at a side door, and felt a wave of relief at the knob turned - just as the secure door behind them flew open, and the guard - gun at the ready - emerged, not looking particularly happy.

"This way!" Sly yanked open the door and, ducking a bullet as Keitaro scrambled through, quickly leapt in and slammed the door behind them. Quickly, Sly fastened the lock and the deadbolt - just as the guard on the other side slammed into the door, and violently shook the doorknob.

"We know you're in there, rat!" A sinister voice filtered through the thick metal door. "Open up or we blast our way in!"

Keitaro gulped. "I knew this was going to happen! Every time I -"

"Shhh...! We'll think of -" Sly looked around. It was pretty much an ordinary storage closet - concrete floors, a dirty sink, mops and other tools lying around...and at the very bottom, a metal grate covering some sort of drain.

"This way!" Sly inserted the hook of the cane into the grating and, rotating the cane's shaft backward, pried the grate off and quickly knocked it aside.

"Can we fit in there?!"

"We'd better - you first. Go go go!"

Keitaro nervously walked up to the grating and, clenching his teeth, dropped his feet in, and tentatively began inching his way down the pipe.

There was a loud mechanical roar, and the door began to rattle and shake violently.

"Hurry!," Sly yelled over the racket, "Just drop right down!"

"But what if it's a long drop!"

"Trust me!"

Keitaro held his breath... and let go.

"AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......"

Sly shrugged... and, carefully replacing the wire grating behind him, jumped into the drain and took the plunge.

Peptuck · Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 11:51 pm Post subject:

I'll post up my nominations on the awards later. Kind of hard to think here on who should get what....

-----------------------

Deployment +171 hours:32 minute:05 seconds (SPARTAN 117 Mission Clock)/ Barracat, SaGa Frontier universe

For the first time in a long time, John sat down and simply relaxed. Cortana had made some comment earlier on playing around with the local computer systems, and then had gone off somewhere. He only hoped she didn't screw anything up.

His MJOLNIR armor was stowed away in a room he had obtained, in which he'd spent a short couple of hours napping, and then he'd left. He didn't carry any overt weapons, excepting the Covenant plasma sword he'd had in the final confrontation with Jedah.

He soon found the man he was seeking, sitting at the bar of the casino and enjoying some fine wine, relaxing as the Master Chief was. John approached and stood beside Cyan Garamonde, but he did not smile. Not out of rudenes sor seriousness, but rather simple inability to do so. John's emotions rarely showed overtly, and he almost never openly smiled. he almost found himself reflexively tracing an index and middle finger in front of his mouth, which was the usual "smile" gesture between himself and his fellow Spartans.

"Sir John," Cyan greeted, giving John a wide grin that contrasted with the Spartan's impassive face. "'Tis good to see you after all the trials we endured." John nodded, but didn't actually say anything at first. he knew that right now, his time was almost up. Even though he was relaxing after the harrowing journey across the multiverse, the Master Chief knew he had to return to his home. There was a war to be fought, and won.

"Cyan," he began to say, pausing before continuing. "It has been an honor fighting beside you."

"Indeed," Cyan replied, suspecting that this was, in fact, a farewell. "We are warriors at heart, brothers in battles against those who have stolen so much from each of us."

"Exactly," John replied with a short nod. "I would say, in all honesty, that you are at least as great a warrior as any of my fellow Spartans." Cyan smiled at the complement and nodded graciously.

"And I extend the same honor to you," Cyan answered. "You would be welcome among the ranks of those who I have journeyed with, Sir John."

".....thank you," John replied after a long pause. He hesitated for a moment, then clenched his jaw, knowing what he wanted to do before he had to return. "This is for you." He held up the plasma sword's deactivated hilt. Cyan took it gingerly, not sure what to do.

"It is a Covenant plasma sword," John explained. He pointed to a button, which Cyan pressed. The glowing double wedge of energy ignited, and Cyan was mesmerized for several seconds by the alien weapon.

"It saw me through the battle in Hell," he explained. "I tend to not place sentimental value on my equipment, but I know you would treasure a gft given to you by a comrade, especially one that served so well. It is....it is really the only gift I can give you to commemorate our fighting together."

"I understand," Cyan replied, deactivating the blade and looking to John once more. "Thank you, my friend." John nodded, then took a step back before straightening his back rigidly. His right arm snapped up to his forehead in a crisp, military salute, something John only showed to officers or comrades he was leaving. No tears formed in the Spartan's eyes, but he felt the pain acutely as he turned to leave Cyan. Saying farewell to the Doman knight was akin to saluting the coffin of a fallen Spartan.

Five hours later, the Master Chief was assembled in his MJOLNIR armor. cortana had returned after causing some random hijinks around the casino (apparently, the events throughout the tournament had bored the AI, with the general lack of technology available) and he approached the mysterious mage Athemyst.

"Master Chief," teh mage said, smiling a greeting to John. "You are leaving early, which I suppose is not a suprise."

"No, sir, it is not," the Chief replied, shaking his head. "I must return to my world. I still have to fight the Covenant."

"Indeed," Athemyst replied. "Ralph promised you he would help you to defeat the Covenant in your world. And this promise I will hold." Athemyst reached into his robe and pulled out a disc.

"This data disc contains information relating to the locations of all Covenant forces, and includes technical data relating to their weapons and technology."

The Master Chief took the disk with hands that almost trembled. twenty-five years of war, and the UNSC had never gained even a sliver of intelligence of the magnitude that the mage was offering. This disc could singlehandedly turn the tide of the war.

"Thank you," the Master Chief whispered as he took the disc and (very carefully) placed it in a pouch in the MJOLNIR. As he did so, Athemyst began to cast a spell, and the gray mist surrounded John once more as he returned to his home and his ultimate goal.

They still had a war to fight, and to win. Spartans always won.
_________________

Procyon · Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 1:01 pm Post subject: 8-4

Down, down, down Sly went, air whooshing around him as he fell faster and faster. The raccoon scrambled frantically at the walls to break his fall, but he was already moving too fast and the rough walls would only scrape against his hands uselessly. He could only fall faster, and faster, and faster, and -

SPLASH

Sly blinked a few times, and, rubbing his eyes, looked around, his eyes quickly adjusting to the near-total darkness. He was lying at the bottom of some sort of giant concrete pipe. Thick green algae covered the bottom, and a faint trickle of water flowed down the pipe. A faint shaft of light - the only illumination in the entire dark tunnel - shone in from above, and Sly looked up to see the tiny outline of the grate opening far, far above up the vertical drain through which they'd plummeted. Fortunately, he didn't hurt too badly - something had obviously cushioned the landing against the hard concrete.

"Hey, that wasn't too bad, right, Keitaro?" He looked around again, trying to find his companion in the darkness. "Keitaro?"

"Giuraleawamfhm," came a mumble from beneath him.

"What did you - er, whoops." Sly hopped to his feet.

"I said, get your tail out of my face!" Keitaro rose to his knees, spitting and brushing his arm against his mouth. "Yech..."

"Uh, sorry." Sly peered up and down the tunnel, hoping for some sign of an exit, but both directions were rapidly lost in the blackness.

Keitaro's dark shillouete reached up towards his face.

"Oh, no..." Keitaro bent over and ran his hands along the wet, slimy floor of the pipe.

"What?"

"I can't find my glasses!" Keitaro frantically searched in the darkness, hoping to find the metal frames in the near-pitch blackness. "Ugh, this is just my luck - I knew I shouldn't have come along on this... Oh, here..." Keitaro paused. "And, they're broken. I knew it!" Keitaro sighed.

"Well, on the plus side, it's too dark to see anything in here anyway."

"Don't remind me..." Keitaro fumbled around, trying to place the broken frames in his pocket. "I hope you have a plan now..."

"Relax, I've done this before! We'll be out of here in no time."

"You normally end up setting off alarms and having to bail out into the sewer?"

"No, I mean... I'm a master thief - I always find a way to get what I came for!"

"Wait, No? So, nothing like this has ever happened to you before after all?

"Um..." Sly hesitated. "Hey, just trust me. And right now my master thief sense says that we should go the same way in which the water's flowing. This way!"

---

"How long have we been down here, now?"

"Maybe 10 minutes?" Sly fiddled with his binocucom, attempting to get a signal from Cortana, Bentley... pretty much anybody, but it was no use: nothing but static.

Keitaro mumbled something under his breath. "Do you think we're anywhere near the hotel any -"

There was a thud, and Keitaro suddenly fell backwards onto the wet floor of the pipe.

"You alright?"

"I just smacked into something!" Keitaro slowly rose to his feet, hand pressed against his forehead.

Sly again took a look down the tunnel, and in front of them indeed appeared to be the faint outline of a grid of metal bars, stretched across the entire pipe just in front of where Keitaro stood.

"No problem." Sly stepped up to the grate and wound back the cane, preparing for a mighty swing. "We'll just break it do-"

Unfortunately, the wooden cane just bounced right off, and Sly went reeling backwards as it (and most of his right arm) vibrated chaotically with a loud spronging noise.

"Maybe not."

"Well, what do we do now?" Keitaro sighed.

"Well, I guess I still have a couple of these left." Sly removed his hat and carefully stuffed it between two of the bars. "Stay back."

Taking a few steps back from the grating, Sly tapped his cane softly to the ground - and there was a sudden flash of light as a loud crack erupted from the hidden charge and reverberated down the tunnel, its echoes rapidly fading away into the distance.

"Is it broken?" Keitaro asked.

"Um... not exactly." Sly grasped his hands around the bars - and while they were quite hot now, the blast had done little to the solid iron and the bars refused to budge.

Keitaro sighed again. "Don't you have anything else?"

"Well, I have a file in here... somewhere..." Sly reached into his bag. "Of course, it'll take a day or two to wear through thick bars like these. If the file actually holds up in the first place.."

"A day or two? But they're going to be taking everybody back to their universes in a few hours! If we miss that we'll be left here on our own forever!"

"Well... um... I'll file really quickly. I hope." Sly finally found the file and crouched down against the bars, and began sawing it back and forth as quickly as he could against the metal.

Keitaro leaned against the wall. "I can't believe this... I'm stuck in a sewer pipe in another universe with a talking raccoon."

Sly shook his head and continued filing.

"You know, this has to be a dream," Keitaro continued. "Maybe if I just pinch..." he paused, "...OW! Ow ow ow!"

The thief thought about saying something, but simply continued at his work. Keitaro leaned his head against the concrete.

And then...

*skitter skitter skitter*

Keitaro jumped. "What was that?" He looked intently down the passage, trying to see anything in the blackness.

The thief continued at his work. "Probably just a rat or -"

*skitter skitter skitter*

Sly wheeled around to catch a momentary glimpse of what appeared to be a short humanoid figure - just as it dashed off down the tunnel and out of sight.

Keitaro spoke again. "Are you sure it's just a -"

"Shhh!"

There was a faint, low-pitched metal ringing sound - like that of a heavy metal disk rolling along the ground - and then silence.

Sly stood up and took a few steps back down the tunnel.

"This way!" he whispered, and he and Keitaro slowly walked up the tunnel, Sly scanning intently for any sign of something astray. And indeed, about a hundred feet up the tunnel Sly spotted a faint blue sparkle, and, walking up to it, revealed a metal manhole cover carefully inset in the wall of the pipe, flush with the concrete and almost invisible. Nodding to himself, Sly slowly lifted the cover, revealing a narrow shaft heading at an angle down into the ground. Feeling inside the hole, there appeared to be a series of handles - very small handles - arrayed along its downward side.

Sly turned to his partner. "I'll go first this time."

---

All was blackness now - with the hole replaced, not even the faintest sign of light illuminated. Fortunately, despite the awkwardly small handles, the slanted tunnel simply went down, down, down - until eventually, Sly's foot contacted ground, and he hopped down onto the cold floor.

They were in a small room now, it seemed - a faint, flickering light leaked in through what appeared to be a small crawl-passageway below them, allowing Sly to get a glipse of their surroundings. The room was bizarrely irregular - the walls were made of rock, and the rough, non-rectangular form gave the impression that it had been chiseled out of the bedrock.

Quietly, Sly dropped to his knees and crawled through the small passageway. It was unclear where exactly this was going to go, but fortunately it was relatively short - and after a few seconds Sly emerged from the rough passageway into what appeared to be a large cavern.

There wasn't much to see - stacks of large wooden boxes stacked haphazardly blocked the view in most directions. The ceiling was very high, though, and appeared to be a natural formation - arching high above the room with thick stalactites descending from it. The occasional bare incandescent bulb hung from a cord, but other than that the room was dark, and silent.

"Oof.." Keitaro grunted slightly as he pulled himself out of the passageway.

"Hey, you even didn't get stuck this time. Good work!"

"...don't remind me about that."

Sly shrugged. "So... this is pretty... odd." He hopped on top of one of the boxes and looked around. Other than the boxes everywhere, it was a fairly generic cavern, extending into the distance both to his left and right in tunnel-like caves. However, the rock along the floor was worn in a path from one way to another, as if a large number of people had walked that direction in the past.

At that moment, though, there was the sound of high-pitched, echoing voices coming down the tunnel, and Sly quickly ducked back behind the boxes, peering through a crack to try to catch what might be coming. The strange voices grew louder, and louder - and soon enough, four figures emerged into the room, chattering to each other in some strange accent that made their voices almost unintelligible. They were human-like creatures... except, little more than three feet tall, and with green clothes, wizened faces, white beards, huge eyebrows, and enormous sock-like hoods over their heads.

"'Ere we go," said one.

"Tharn box 'ago back to the cap'n," said the second.

"Ye'rn, thi' deliv'ry right be a 'urry," continued the third.

"Bu' right proim, how 'bout a little singin', oy?" asked the first.

"Oy!," said all four in unison.

"What the heck..." Sly mumbled to himself as the four creatures locked arms in a line... and began to sing.

Come, my friends, and gather round
To tell the tale we've always told.
A tale of gnomes in a bustling town
And how they took the whole world's gold.

Cheat the young, cheat the old.
Empty their pockets and pile the gold!
Deuces wild, Hit! Stand! Fold!
Anything to get more gold.

The gnomes, they remained underground
While up above in the surface cold
Human fools from all around
Gathered and they lost their gold.

Cheat the young, cheat the old.
Empty their pockets and pile the gold!
Deuces wild, Hit! Stand! Fold!
Anything to get more gold.

Rinky-tink, tink-a-toll
All we want is LOTS of gold!
Rinky-tink, tink-a-toll
All we want is LOTS of gold!

The gnomes laughed and continued about their work, lifting up a box from the center of the room and disappearing back down the passage.

"OK, now I know I'm dreaming." Keitaro mumbled to himself, and began banging his head against the nearest crate.

"Shhh...! Quiet!" Sly held his arm out in front of his companion. "They'll hear -"

Suddenly the raccoon heard something, and wheeled around to face a large, fat man with yellow skin and a brown goatee staring blankly at the scene beyond them.

"Worst. Post. Ever." The man disappeared into the crawl tunnel.

Sly blinked a few times. "Anyway..."

But once again, Sly found himself interrupted, this time by the echoing sound of squeaking wheels - and the thief ducked down behind the boxes just as gnome rushed by from the opposite direction - wheeling a large cart filled with shining gold coins.

Sly's eyes immediately fixated treasure, his eyes sparkling as the glittering cargo disappeared back down the tunnel. "See?" he said to Keitaro. "I told you we were going to get what we came for."

Procyon · Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 11:14 pm Post subject: 8-5

"Okay, here's the plan," Sly said. "I want you to stay back and keep an eye on things while I go ahead. When the coast is clear, I'll give you the signal, and you come up and meet me."

"Sounds good." Keitaro nodded. Unfortunately...

"Keitaro."

"What?"

"I'm over here." Sly tapped on Keitaro's shoulder.

Keitaro, rather embarrassed, turned around to look towards Sly, his eyes squinting intently in vain to see without his glasses.

"OK, new plan." Sly sighed. "Just wait here and stay totally quiet. I'll come back with the gold and we'll find a way out of here."

Keitaro nodded again, and after one last look in both directions, Sly jumped over the box, and quietly crept down the tunnel.

---

The cave system continued onward and onward in a mostly straightforward single passage with few forks. The occasional bulb provided just enough illumination to proceed forward but still left large areas of the room in concealed in shadow, and large stalagmites rising from the floor offered a safe place to hide whenever the sound of one of the creepy little gnomes echoed down the tunnel - or, in moments that were even more nerve-racking, when Sly thought he heard the faint sound of heavy breathing coming from one of the dark recesses in the chain of caverns that he progressed through.

However, his Cooper sneaking skills assuredly proved their worth, for distant echoes aside, Sly didn't have so much as a single encounter with a gnome, or anyone (or anything) else - until, peering off into the interior of a large, cavernous room, Sly spotted a pair of spear-wielding gnomes flanking either side of a magnificent carved archway in the rock. A line of burning torches cast a fiery glow on the inside of the corridor, and, crouching to bring his eyes as close to the floor as possible, the raccoon thought he caught a glimpse of something glimmering deep inside.

Checking again for any sign of trouble, Sly Cooper, blending invisibly into the shadows along the corner of the room, tiptoed slowly towards the pair of guards. Their hoods were drawn low over their immense pale eyebrows, and Sly watched their faces carefully to ensure that he had not drawn their attention - though given that Sly wasn't entirely convinced they actually had eyes beneath their enormous brows, this wasn't exactly easy.

Eventually, though, Sly had drawn almost to their position. Unfortunately, getting past them was not going to be easy - there didn't seem to be enough room to sneak between them, and he'd probably be seen under the bright light anyway even with invisibility. What he needed was a distraction... shame that Keitaro was far behind him now.

But, he'd make do on his own, as this probably wouldn't require anything fancy. Sly scanned the ground around him and picked up what appeared to be a suitably sized stone from along the wall - and, winding up carefully, hurled it backwards into the dark tunnel from which he'd come. There was a loud crack, and the stone skipped a few times before coming to a stop, the sounds from its motion loudly echoing throughout the chamber.

"Oi! Y'ere that, kin'e?" One gnome looked intently at his partner, poking him gently with the butt of his spear.

"Ye, I'erd it." Slowly, the other gnome raised up his hood slightly and quickly shook his head, as if coming out of a faint torpor.

The first gnome paced slightly. "Thin' it a mo'er? O' aybe a' teef the kin' wot chattrin' bout."

"Naw, jus' a bloy rockfall, le' leeit be."

"Well, I reckon we be're vestigate 'sides."

"Bu' a-shift 'bout be over! I tain want be vestigatin' a bloy rock when I'bout ready to go sloip."

"Ih'll tain boi a min. Come on, kin'e."

"I telln' ya, it's a bloy rockfall..." the second gnome trailed off, and the both of them got up and began crossing the corridor.

Meanwhile, crouched in the shadows behind their backs, Sly quickly scampered into the hallway. The whole thing had been delicately carved from the rock, and the arch overhead was accentuated by what appeared to be some sort of artwork, with carved ridges in the form of radiating lines and spirals running along the ceiling, along with some sort of unintelligible text engraved in blocks along side it. Fiery torches lit the way through the magnificent hallway, but a much more gentle glow shone from the end of the tunnel. And when the raccoon finally reached the end of the tunnel, he discovered why.

Sly Cooper could hardly believe his eyes. The entire room was absolutely covered in gold of all kinds - rings, coins, bracelets, plates, plaques, nuggets, statues, everything! It was a veritable horde of riches covering the floor of the cavernous rock-walled room with a depth of at least a few inches and at places seemed piled into mounds several feet high - and almost without exception, it was nothing, nothing but solid gold, glimmering and shining with what seemed like a light of its own. Sly had raided famous museums and infiltrated the private collections of the wealthiest criminals in the world, but never had he seen anything even a hundredth of the magnitude of what lay before him. And not only that, but connecting tunnels seemed to join this gold to others of equal or greater size in nearby attaching rooms. This was just incredible!

Sly gazed at the incredible riches. He could easily simply take a few handfuls of what lay in front of him and make up - by at least tenfold - however much Keitaro might have lost. But this treasure... no, he would have to find something that showed just what kind of place he had just found!

The thief tentatively took a step onto the pile, and there was a soft metallic clinking as the gold shifted under his feet. Off in the corner of the room sat a single gnome, his hat drawn over his head - apparently in a deep sleep.

Dropping onto all fours, Sly began slowly crawling over the surface of the immense treasure pile, sifting a little bit with his hands for anything particularly stunning as he went. It was really overwhelming, though - practically everything beckoned to be taken, and every time Sly thought he had found the perfect choice of souvenir, seconds later he would find something even more stunning.

At last, though, he decided on something suitable enough for his purposes: an enormous golden goblet, inset along the rim with countless jewels of all shapes and sizes, polished to mirrorlike shine that sparkled like the sun. Sly held the goblet above his head, marveling at its magnificent sheen, even among a roomful of other priceless gold artifacts - and then carefully filled it to the brim with small items collected around him (gold was gold, after all - plus, he'd given Keitaro his word to repay his losses) and opened his bag. Getting the large thing in wasn't going to be easy at this point, unfortunately - Sly had to shifta few of the other artifacts around to make room before placing the latest acquisition in on its side, and barely managed to close the flap over it. That would do for now, though: the bag was already getting unwieldy, and he didn't want to be burdened -

"Mister Cooper."

Sly jumped briefly, and looked around quickly for the source of the voice as he - as subtly as possible (which was not very) - moved the heavy pack around behind his back, just as he spotted a particularly senior-looking gnome, gold crown on his head, staring at him from one of the room's openings.

"I had a feeling you were going to show up eventually," the gnome said, hobbling towards him over the layer of gold on a cane of his own. "Thieves are drawn to treasure like bees to nectar... or flies to carrion."

"I see my reputation precedes me."

"Oh, yes, we were warned about you long before you came." The gnome (who peculiarly had no discernable accent) continued. "Baccarat was only willing to play host to Amethyst's little party on one condition - any thieves remain under a short leash. Unfortunately I see they've failed at that, but they at least had the good sense to warn us of your presence. We did what we could to keep your sniveling nose out of our business, and even posted extra guards at the cave entrance... though I'm hardly surprised you found a way in despite that."

"When your business is cheating people out of their money, then my business is to do what it takes to put an end to it - at least when my friends are concerned."

"Your moral sense is most peculiar, Mister Cooper. Our patrons know the odds are not in their favor when they come to gamble. They come - and they spend - of their own free will. What you are doing is taking."

"Evening the odds, I call it. Anyway, I'd say you have more than enough to go around here..." Sly trailed his foot through the carpet of gold.

"Gnomes can never have enough gold, Mister Cooper." The gnome squinted darkly, and voice suddenly grew sinister. "And we don't take kindly to anybody who tries to take it from us."

Sly blinked.... and began tiptoeing towards the exit.

"GET HIM!"

And suddenly, a throng of gnomes popped out into view - from the inner passageways, from the archway, even from hiding under the gold; armed with everything from swords to spears to enormous blunderbuss rifles.

"Now, now, surely we don't need to resort to violence just..." Sly looked back and forth at dozens upon dozens of angry faces. "...yet?"

"NOW!"

Sly made a break for the exit, and furious gnomish screams mixed with gunsmoke from a hundred simultaneous shots as what seemed like the entire population of the caverns rushed forward to defend their treasure.

Procyon · Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2004 8:09 pm Post subject: 8-6

Thieves have to be good at a number of things to be successful - stealth, patience, confidence, agility, a knowledge of their environment, and understanding of all possible dangers.

And at times... it helps to be able to run fast.

"Hurry!" Sly screamed back towards Keitaro, as the young man stumbled blindly after him in a panic, gunshot blasts echoing throughout the cavern as a veritable army of the little green-clad men madly charged after the pair.

"Run run run!"

There was the sound of ricocheting bullets, and fragments of rock sprayed into the air around them.

"What did you do?!" Keitaro gasped.

"Apparently they're not big fans of sharing -- Right turn!"

The tunnel narrowed and made a sharp right, and the practically blind Keitaro slowed down in confusion. Casting a nervous glance over his shoulder at the rampaging crowd pursuing them, Sly swung his cane back behind him and held the end in front of Keitaro.

"Here, hold on to this!"

Keitaro flailed his arms in front of himself for a few moments, but eventually managed to grab the end - and the two of them continued onward as the horde of gnomes filtered through the narrow, twisting tunnel in pursuit.

"How much longer?" Keitaro asked.

"I have no idea! We didn't come this... uh oh." Sly paused as, rounding another corner, he realized that the passage just ahead dead-ended at a ladder... and about seven spear-wielding gnomes glared at them from its base.

"Let go let go let go -"

Keitaro reluctantly dropped his end of the cane. Sly clenched his teeth, and suddenly curled up into a ball, holding onto his feet as he began rolling straight towards the guards, letting his momentum carry him forward. There were a few mumbles of surprise as the raccoon bounced down the corridor towards them, and at the last second the whole assemblage went leaping to the side out of the way - except for one, who attempted to strike at Sly, but missed the timing and was sent flying onto the air with an electrical zap as Sly bowled into him - and slammed with a bang into the ladder behind. The raccoon rose to his feet, and without hesitation quickly raised the cane over his head and spun it with an elaborate twirl creating a sudden flash of light - and suddenly the room fell momentarily silent as the guards all seemed to freeze in place.

"Here!" Sly shouted, and he and Keitaro were able to get a few steps up the ladder just as the crowd of gnomes nearly-simultaneously regained their senses. Frantically scrambling upwards as the cacophony of screams and shots reverberated around the room, Sly hurled the cover at the top of the ladder open and stepped into the... parking lot?

There was no time to think, though - immediately Sly lowered his cane back into the shaft and strained to pull Keitaro upward - just as a bullet rung of the ladder. Sly slammed the cover shut behind them and, panting from exhaustion, dashed off toward the nearest staircase.

---

"Is everyone ready?" Standing in what was now a nearly empty hotel lobby, Amethyst turned to his grey-suited companion.

"We're missing two..." Ralph pushed a few buttons on his handheld device. "Sly Cooper of SLY-28930 and Keitaro Urashima of LVH-00984."

"Keitaro - is he not one of the five who fought the Mage of Hell himself? It is a shame; I wished to thank him..."

"Hm... they are close to an hour late now, and the other sponsors will not be happy about the delay." Ralph paced about nervously. "We cannot delay much longer - the others are anxious to return to their worlds, and I assured the hosts that we would be gone within -"

Suddenly there was the crash of shattering glass, and through the lobby window hopped a frazzled raccoon, trailed a few steps by an equally haggard-looking black-haired young man.

"Take cover!" Sly screamed, and with a sudden leap jumped and latched his cane onto a large overhead chandelier, swinging himself upwards and out of view. Keitaro, meanwhile, dived to the floor right between the startled pair of hosts, gasping for air - just as a legion of gnomes poured in through the open window.

"What is this?!" A wide-eyed Ralph gasped.

"Ralph, you backstabbing double-crossing cur!" A familiar voice called out from among the pack, and a gnome wearing a gold crown stepped forward. "I told you - no thieves!"

"My apologies, your majesty." Ralph bowed slightly. "You shall be compensated for any damages -"

"This is an insult!" the gnome howled, and glared at the rather frightened form of Keitaro as he slowly crawled behind the shelter of Ralph and Amethyst. "Compensation nothing - hand him over! And that rat thief!"

Sly, clutching to the glass of the chandelier above as it rocked slowly back and forth, steadied his breath.

"Terribly sorry, sir," Ralph continued, "But I am afraid that the protocol requires that we -"

"Allow me to handle this." Amethyst interrupted, and Ralph nodded. "Your highness - this man aided me in my time of need. Please, allow him to go free; we will compensate you for anything that is missing."

"He took the Cup of Elba!" The gnome howled. "It's priceless!"

"Keitaro, sir," Amethyst turned to the young man, "Please return whatever it is that you took."

"Me?" Keitaro stared blankly. "I don't have anything..."

"Liar!" the gnome screamed.

Amethyst gazed into Keitaro's eyes for a few seconds. "He is being honest, King."

"Ooh, I'll bet the rat has it!"

"I know of no 'rat'."

"... whatever he is!" The king swung his arm in a gesture of irritation.

"Perhaps you are confused."

"Quit playing these semantic games with me, Amethyst! Now hand him over!"

Amethyst shrugged.

The king turned towards Ralph. "You know who I'm talking about, Ralph - where did he go?!"

Amethyst stared at Ralph, looking into his eyes.

Ralph looked at the king quizzically. "Who again?"

"You sons of - ooh, I've been cheated!" The gnome fumed. "All I can say is - you two had better get out of here right away and never set foot in Baccarat again!"

The king turned around, and the gnome army - angrily murmuring amongst themselves - slowly turned around and filtered back into the darkness outside the shattered window.

---

"I had a feeling you were going to cause trouble here," Ralph glared up at Sly.

The raccoon hopped down from the chandelier and softly dropped to the carpeted floor.

"Well, I don't know about causing, but trouble seems to have a way of following me around. Good thing I try to keep one step ahead." He glanced back out through the broken window.

"Mr. Cooper, unfortunately, I'm going to have to ask you to return whatever it is you took," Ralph said.

"Hey," Sly objected, "Don't tell me you're taking the side of the unibrows now!"

"Return it, please." Amethyst repeated.

"You know, this is happening way too often this week..." Sly reluctantly opened his bag and, starting with the goblet, let the gold drop by the handful to the floor.

"All of it, please."

Sly sighed, and a few more gold coins and chains dropped out of the bag. "You know, this was just to repay Keitaro here's losses, I swear..."

"Thanks to your antics we're running awfully late." Ralph looked up from his notepad. "Please hurry to the next room to await departure while I finalize transportation arrangements."

"Hey, whatever you say." Sly shrugged, and quickly spun his cane around a few times as if practicing his moves. Subtly, the hook glided around the goblet's handle and pulled it into the air, and equally inconspicuously swung the artifact directly in to the open flap of his pack.

"Well, it's been quite a ride, but I guess I'm out of here. Thanks to the both of you!" And with that, Sly, Keitaro trailing after him, made for the exit - hoping to escape before anybody noticed the missing item. However, after a few steps -

"Keitaro?" Amethyst interrupted. "I'd like to have few final words with you, if you please." Keitaro nodded and turned around. "Sly, you can go."

"Well, I guess this is it then!" Sly turned as he reached the large double-doors joining to the next room. "So before I go..." he reached around to the back of his pack and removed a small metal horseshoe, and then tossed it across the room to Keitaro's feet. Keitaro hesitantly reached towards the ground and (after a few fumbled tries) picked it up.

"I figure you could use one of these," Sly said. "Don't know if it will work in your case, but... hey, it couldn't hurt. Later!"

And with that, Sly bounded through the doorway and out of sight - waiting for the mists to descend for the last time.

----------

Congratulations, Sly! You've completed Rurouni Taikai SaGa - and I see you've come back with quite a bit more than you left with. In the meantime, I've finished wiring all of your mission recordings into the central computer, including the ones that the binocucom couldn't store permanently. So if you ever need go back and see what happened at any point during the tournament, just access it from this terminal! In fact, when you get the chance, you should go back and inventory everything you found and where you got it.

Sure thing, Bentley. But first of all, now that I'm finally back at home, we've got to find out what Carmelita has done with Clockwerk's parts, before someone else does. There isn't a moment to lose - ready to get going?

I've got everything mapped out for the mission - all systems are functional and good to go.

Then let's move out!

_________________

Description 1: Police Dossier
Description 2: The Thievius Raccoonus Online
Chapter 0: Return to Paris 0-1 0-2
Chapter 1: Seas of Peril 1-1 1-2 1-3 1-4 1-5 1-6 1-7
Chapter 2: A Grim Gothic Game 2-1 2-2 2-3 2-4 2-5 2-7 2-8 2-9
Chapter 3: Battle of the Blackness 3-1 3-2 3-3 3-4 3-5 3-6 3-7
Chapter 4: The Red Menace 4-1 4-2 4-3 4-4 4-5 4-6 4-7
Chapter 5: Trouble in Paradise 5-1 5-2 5-3 5-4 5-5 5-6 5-7 5-8 5-9 5-10
Chapter 6: The Jack of Diamonds 6-1 6-2 6-3 6-4 6-5 6-6 6-7
Chapter 7: Seventh Hell 7-1 7-2 7-3 7-4
Chapter 8: Epilogue 8-1 8-2 8-3 8-4 8-5 8-6

Peptuck · Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2004 1:26 am Post subject:

October 12, 2552/UNSC cruiser Luxemburg/Holding orbit over Earth

Fires burned in space as literally hundreds of UNSC cruisers, destroyers, frigates, carriers, and other craft gathered in space over Earth. All around them, tug craft and freighters pressed into service were flying busily about, tugging the remains of hundreds more ruined craft, some of human make, but many, many more crafted of the blue metal and graceful, aquatic style of the Covenant.

It had been a total rout. The Covenant forces had been totally off-guard as they had dropped out of Slipspace, right into the waiting guns of the entirety of the UNSC's fleet. The aliens had not even been able to ready their shields or power their weapons when the human fleet, which almost equally numbered the Covenant, had opened fire with a barrage of thousands of Archer missiles, hundreds of MAC rounds, and a slew of Shiva nuclear warheads.

Less than a tenth of the Covenant had survived, and the UNSC fleet made short work of those ships who had opted to stay.

An ONI scout ship had seen the Covenant leave mere hours before the battle, thanks to the timely intelligence data that the man known only as John 117 had brought in a month previously.

"Wow," Admiral Hood said, on the bridge of the Luxemburg. he shook his head at the victory. "I never thought I'd see a victory over the Covenant that was this bloodless on our side." He sat back in his chair and turned to the man beside him.

Master Chief Petty Officer John 117 stood impassively, watching the tugs and freighters haul chunks of destroyed Covenant ships away. Something tugged at his heart at that moment, a feeling that everything was indeed right. That slow, subtle sinking feeling thta had found its way into every soldier and flyer of the UNSC was gone. the bridge crew didn't show it, as they were still on duty, but John knew that, all across human space, soldiers, civilians, even outlaws and pirates, were cheering and celebrating.

The tide had turned. The Covenant fleet had been uttelry annihilated, and the UNSC was back in the fight. They had a chance to truely win this war.

"Master Chief," Admiril Hood said, standing from his chair. The Chief stiffened and saluted the officer, and Hood, knowing John all too well, simply saluted back. Otherwise the Spartan would stand there all day.

"Master Chief," the Admiral repeated with a sincere smile, "this is as much your victory as it was the fleet's. We wouldn't have stood a chance without you."

"Thank you, sir," John responded. "I only did my job, however."

"Nonsense," Hood replied with a firm shake of his head. "Every human on Earth owes you their lives. Even this fleet couldn't have stopped the Covenant without the intel you've provided us on their locations and technology."

"I understand, sir," the Chief nodded.

"And now that we know where hteir homeworlds are, its time to turn the tide." A grim smile found its way onto Hood's face. "Its time to take back what those alien bastards stole from us."

"Understood, sir," John replied with another salute, understanding the implied order. "My Spartans and I will be ready."

And they would be ready. For whatever would come.

---------------

Well, that's the final post for the Chief, at least for know. I plan to reprise the Master Chief more in the future, though his iteration of the Halo universe will be drastically different from the direction the Halo storyline will be headed, as I think the Covenant was supposed to win that battle I mentioned.

Anyway, onto my thoughts on the awards!

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence - Keitaro. Beyond a doubt.

Best Dramatic Performance - Cyan Garamonde, easily, especially with the Wrexsoul plotline.

Best Sig/Avatar - Who else butConker? That sig was brilliant! (hides payoff from Team Badong)

Best Friendship/Alliance - Everyone gets to vote themselves. Cyan/Red/Master Chief 4-EVA!

Best Omake - K-DAWG, BIATCH!

Best Fluffy Sidekick - Only Mokona, the theoretical creator of everything, is worthy of this title.

Best Romance - Sora hitting on Nova. I guess that counts.

Best Rivalry - Cyan and Red, which was totally badong ass.

Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award - He's a bird! He's a plane! he's...wait a sec. Heh. Batman wins this for being the only one to do something nice.

Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue - The Shiz, I suppose. carly's good at that stuff.

Best Continuing Storyline - Conker, BIATCH!

One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds - Keitaro!

Best Turnabout (Hero to villain or vice versa) - Drizzt, for obvious reasons

Best Change (Other) - Akira! She turned EBIL!

Best Hero - Drizzt,a s well, for he beat up Sith lords and bitch-slapped himself. Anyone who smacks around an evil version of Drizzt is a hero in my books!

Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy - Darth malak. For obvious reasons.

Best Duel - Malak/Akira vs. Culex/Sly. A very interesting match-up with some odd characters.

Best Viscerotonic - Cyan did the Tai-Chi and balanced that shit down, yo.

Best Cerebrotonic - Fo' Shizzle.

Best Musculotonic - DRIZZT SMASH!

Most Original Interpretation of an Existing Character - Captian Crystal, aka Culex. Wayne made Culex his own, that cannot be denied.
_________________

Moogle · Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 11:53 pm Post subject:

Things were, at long last, quiet. While stealing a bunch of gold and jewels from some weird underground gnomes was an interesting adventure (and quite tame compared to facing the Lord of Hell merged with the greatest mage in the world - as most tasks would seem to him for the rest of his life,) it did not really compare to the fun that he had on an every day basis at the Hinata House, even considering his current dilemma...

The Hinata House. Keitaro had barely even thought of the Hinata House as he went on the tournament. And why should he have? He was there when the Lord of Hell revealed, in typical villain style, the whole of his evil scheme. It was a miracle that they all survived. Keitaro most of all, as he was Keitaro and he could not fight, or at least not in the way that everyone else would measure strength. No, at least while he was busy trying to not die - which he ended up doing anyway, but that condition was removed - there were some more important things to think about. But now that things were calmed down, now he began to think of what he was missing out on again.

Absolutely nothing that he'd done in the tournament would assist him in being able to make that decision, having to choose between Naru and Mutsumi. That would be harder than fighting great demons, in some ways. At least in fighting a great demon, you knew what you were up against. But choosing between two wonderful young women, who are friends... no matter what, someone would be hurt, or at least, lonely. How was he supposed to be fit to make that choice?

Amethyst cleared his throat and Keitaro realized he'd gotten lost in thought. Keitaro laughed and returned his attention to the mage.

"I don't think there is a lot that I would be able to tell you that you do not already know, so I won't try to patronize you."

"Uh, thanks." Now that he'd started thinking about it, he really was anxious to get back home, and this last distraction seemed more agonizing than anything. Keitaro wanted to get it over with.

"There are few in the Multiverse who could have stood against what you fought for as long as you did. Some might be stronger than you physically, but you have an unbreakable will that even many redoubtable warriors lack. Dwell not on what has transpired here, but forget it not, also."

It was true, these were things that Keitaro had thought about to himself. But being told that same thing by such a powerful being as Amethyst was something else again.

"Now," the mage continued, "I have one gift to leave you before you are sent back on your way. I understand, from speaking to some of the others, that you have a very difficult choice to face when you return home. I cannot give you anything to make that choice easier. But I do have this, and it will come in handy eventually."

Amethyst opened one of his palms and revealed a shiny gold ring with a small, perfectly-cut diamond set into it.

Keitaro stared at it in disbelief as he took it into his own hand. "This is a..."

"I am assured it fully complies with all societal norms for its specific purpose. You will know to whom to give it, and when to do so, when the right time presents itself. Now go, Keitaro Urashima. Your friends are waiting for you."

As he bowed to Amethyst in thanks, Ralph stepped into the room, and then came the mists and with them also came darkness.

***

Keitaro opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling of his room. He blinked, and when he opened them again, he was still looking at the ceiling of his room. How did I get in here? he wondered.

It was somewhat dark in his room, leading him to believe that it was night time. That was certainly not what he was expecting. He distinctly remembered being told that not much time would pass from when he left and when he came back. Then again, perhaps he and Ralph had different ideas of what "not much time" happened to be. He sighed. That was one more thing to worry about. How long had he been gone, anyway?

As he sat up on his futon, he noticed that his room was not clean as it had been when he left. There were several things laying around: cloths, a bucket of water, extra blankets, a thermometer. It was as though he was sick and someone was taking care of him.

His eyes widened as he saw a second futon laying a few feet away from him, and they went wider when he saw who lay on that second futon. He would know that brown hair anywhere, even if it was facing away from him and half-covered by a blanket. Naru, it seemed, had been taking care of him, although he did not know that he was sick. How that happened was another mystery. But Naru was sleeping. He was not about to ask her.

Suddenly, Keitaro wondered, was it all a dream? Could he have somehow gotten a terrible fever and hallucinated everything that had happened to him? He'd read about things like that happening to people before. It was not completely unknown. Obviously, he must have had a fever at some point.

It was what he began to think, at least, until he looked and saw a horseshoe hanging on his wall. In his life he had never owned a horseshoe, but Sly Cooper gave him one before the two were forced to part ways. The sneaking raccoon was quite the interesting fellow, there would be no arguing that. But if he had that horseshoe, it must have been real. And if it was real, that meant...

Within a palm that had been balled shut was the ring that Amethyst gave to Keitaro, for Keitaro to some day give to the woman he loved, when the time was right to do so. He'd been gripping it the entire time he was asleep, so it left a bit of an imprint in his palm. In the pale moonlight that did shine into his room, the diamond almost seemed to twinkle like a star. Keitaro could not help but smile.

"Keitaro..." Naru tended to mumble in her sleep. Keitaro knew this well. But when he heard his name, he was unable to resist going over to look at her. It seemed like forever since he saw her, heard her voice. Now that she was so close he found that he needed to look at her face just to feel content.

So he carefully crawled towards her, not wanting to wake her up from too much noise.

Naru turned over suddenly in her sleep, and one of her outstretched arms flew through the air as she did so. The balled fist on that hand caught Keitaro straight in the side of the head, slamming his head into the floor and holding it there for a moment.

Keitaro sat back up and chuckled at himself. Yes, his luck was the same as ever. At least some things never changed.

He looked at the ring once more, and then looked at the sleeping form of Naru, so innocent-looking as she slept by herself in his room. How long she'd been there was unimportant. It was important that she was there, that she cared that much (even if she showed it rarely.) A smile crossed his face, and the burden on his shoulders suddenly felt a lot lighter.

Without even fully being aware of it, Keitaro made his decision that night as he held that ring and looked at Naru. It would be some time before that decision truly amounted to anything, but nonetheless it had been made.

More than anything else, Keitaro wanted to lean over and kiss Naru while she slept, whisper how he loved her. But he also knew better. He was still Keitaro Urashima, after all.

He laid back down on his futon, tucking the ring underneath his pillow, and then he went back to sleep. It had been forever since he'd gotten a real night's sleep, and sleep always meant dreams. Dreams were such pleasant things...

---

Hey, did you know... if two people who each other go to Tokyo University...

The End
_________________

Dareon · DARKNESS Joined: 08 Jul 2002 Posts: 505 Location: HELL

Amethyst sat calmly on a soft couch, lost in thought. Ralph walked over and pulled a chair over to the couch.

"Problems, sir?"

The mage sighed. "I've got something of him left, Ralph."

"Sir?"

"The Lord of Hell. Something of him is left over inside me. Not his personality or goals, but..." He pointed at a potted plant. It changed into a stack of tires, then into a different potted plant. "I can't do that, Ralph. I shouldn't be able to do that. Not with a spell, and certainly not with just a thought. It goes counter to all the laws of magical conservation of energy I've learned. I've got some of his power, and that frightens me."

"'Power corrupts', sir?"

"That's my general line of thought, yes."

"Well, sir, you seem to have only garnered his Alter Reality power. Be thankful you haven't acquired his portfolio as well. I assure you that you would not enjoy administering to it."

"...Portfolio?"

"Ah, another universe's system of dealng with what an individual god controls. It's like they control a lot of stock and individual domains can be traded between gods, typically by death, although in certain cases, a god was merely imprisoned and their portfolio controlled in the interim by an allied deity. You probably don't need to worry about it, sir. Just do your best."

Amethyst took a deep breath and nodded. "Right. How are we doing, Ralph?"

Ralph took his console out of his pocket and checked it. "We've still got most of them to go. And if it's not presumptuous of me to ask, what are you planning for our guest of honor?"

"Shizumaru-san? His heart's desire was... Protecting those he loved, yes?"

"Indeed, sir."

"Hmm. His home universe is decidedly unsafe. Perhaps we could relocate them?"

"My files indicate that would have an adverse effect on them. Some sort of more localized protection would likely be preferable."

"Hmm." Amethyst put one hand on his chin and magically whisked a drink from a passing tray to his other hand. His conversation with Ralph was interrupted, however, as another contestant approached them.

---

You have 10 days left to finish your stories, and then I shall finish them off myself and go on to super happy end.

Wayne · Reverend Strawman Joined: 02 Jul 2002 Posts: 494

Culex stood, hands clasped behind his back, patiently watching. Little had changed, really, despite what most of the mortals seemed to think; and to revel about. The conflict that Ralph had drawn them into was a minor one, in the grand flow of time; the Multiverse would go on as it always had, and in a flash of a crystal eye nearly all of them would be gone.

Inwardly, he laughed. Of course there was more to the story than that. If the "tournament" had been left to the Vandans it would have taken years, and nothing would've been done to stop the "Mage of Hell's" ultimate plans... none of the Dark Ones would've taken it seriously.

But, Culex realized, there was more to existence than his people; and there was more purpose to their lives, and even his own, than to seek only the highest prize... whether it was a worthy battle, a loved one, a fortune, or even just a dream. Mortal life was never so simple... and neither, the Knight thought, should his be.

He would take time... perhaps a year or so... to meditate over what he had learned. For the present, however... it was a time of celebration. Victory had been won... and with it the hardships of the battles themselves suddenly seemed insignificant.

---

"Excuse me, Miss?" echoed Culex's voice, politely, as he tapped a waitress on the shoulder.

She twitched reflexively and nearly dropped her tray of glasses before slowly turning around, tensed. "Can I help you, Sir?" she muttered, and the Vandan nodded.

"I apologize if this seems an unusual request, Miss... but, I found your selection of food lacking--"

The bunny-girl waitress looked sternly at him, and then at the massive buffet table, set for hundreds; and then back toward Culex. "...what?"

"Yes, and I am certain it is palatable; but I am a lithovore, you see. When I do eat, which is seldom, I require mineral food, not organic." His eyes shimmered somewhat, as though he was annoyed at having to explain something to her he thought would be obvious.

She blinked. "...oh. You mean... like... rocks, or something?" With a short laugh she walked over to an ornamental counter, grabbed a salt rock from the top of it, and handed it to the Vandan. "Bon appetit, Sir!"

The girl grinned and began to walk off, but again Culex stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "...no. While I do appreciate the thought, I would prefer something... finer. I understand that the purpose of the meal provided was to be the best possible for any of your organic guests, yes? Then as a Knight I ask politely to be treated in the same way."

The waitress sighed. "Man, they don't pay me enough for this... OK. I can get you, say, a few diamonds or something. I figure at the cost of the buffet per plate-- ha!-- it'll be about even. But... well, I've never seen anybody eat gems before. It's worth it. You mind if I take a picture?"

Culex bowed his head. "Not at all, and thank you."

The girl smiled and again began to leave, but she stopped; this time of her own accord. "Oh yeah. I have this survey here for all the guests... 'just hand them out to the out-of-towners who look really out of place here,' ha ha. Have you filled one out yet?"

"No, I have not."

She nodded and handed him the survey and a pen. "And you can give them to your host before you leave. If you have any questions, um... well, don't have any. It can't be that hard to fill out, can it?"

---

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence: Tough one, heh... especially with the Omake round (lots of funny stuff). Eh, in the end it goes to Keitaro, but that's a tough call.

Best Dramatic Performance: Going with the majority (again), and Cyan. Drama without angst (at least not a whole lot)? Inconceivable!

Best Sig/Avatar: I liked Krizak's, but he wasn't really in the tournament... so I'll go with one I saw slightly (heh) more often, namely, Conker.

Best Friendship/Alliance: Any combination of Sly, Keitaro, and Culex. From the second half of the tournament on they had some neat stuff going (and I mention Culex since he was allies with both at the same time, heh).

Best Omake: Sly Cooper, pimp extraordinaire! (Heh.) Although, again; the Omake had so much funny stuff it's hard to pick just one.

Best Fluffy Sidekick: Guri essentially by default.

Best Romance: This is why we need more female sponsors. Neutral

Best Rivalry: Oddly enough I think I'll go against the grain and pick Drizzt and Malak [and friends]. It's just a shame Onyx as Revan dropped out.

Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award: Toadette. Point made about how nearly all of the active sponsors blew stuff up, though, heh.

Best Inner Monologue: Considering that this basically amounts to "The Angst Award" (since nobody ever writers interior monologue for villainous ravings anymore Teh Demented One

) it's an easy nod to Carly's Shizumaru. :]

Best Continuing Storyline: Y'know, I think I'll agree and pick Amethyst.

One-Man Army Award: In terms of gameplay, myself. Razz

No, seriously, Keitaro. I don't think this one needs any explanation.

Best Turnabout: Kyo's Akira. Someone who turned evil in a Survivor and stayed evil? Inconceivable!

Best Change: Asuka. Jokes about the Balors aside, he ended up substantially different from the Scryed character I'm familiar with.

Best Hero: As Culex insisted on calling him, "Master Chief Petty Officer." ...what?

Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy: Darth Malak, no contest. (And I sigh. I retire with my brother tying me for the number of Best Villain awards. Sad

)

Best Duel: Lots of choices, but my favorite in terms of action, pacing, and equal player participation was "Lawful and Neutral Evil vs. Lawful Neutral and Chaotic Good" (or Malak/Akira vs. Sly/Culex). :]

Best Viscerotonic: IMBALANCE~ I give this one to Jason Soe, because he was the realization of everything I thought about the Viscerotronic type (namely that it needed to die a horrible fiery death). Very Happy

Best Cerebrotonic: Gee... of the active players, we have the pumpkin twins who hijacked a tank, the psychopathic Dark Lord of the Sith, and Culex (who's only in this type because more people needed to be, heh). Um... OK, Yoshi.

Best Musculotonic: I'm reasonably sure he's already won, but another vote for Drizzt (who actually turned down mystic power, heh) won't hurt anything.

Most Original Interpretation: Similarly I think I've got this one, so here's a token vote for Culex.

...is that it? *reviews list* Looks that way. (Thanks for the Quote-able list, Draco. Teh Demented One

)

---

Culex strode up to where Amethyst and Ralph were talking, and offered each a polite bow; Ralph nodded, and the mage, who'd just Mage Handed a drink, turned toward him.

"Can I help you?" the short businessman asked, as he offered his hand for Culex to shake; and he did so.

"Yes. I have this to give you..." he replied, handing Ralph the survey. He looked over to Amethyst. "Actually, it was you I was seeking."

"Oh? Are you leaving now, Culex? I thought you would probably ask about the reward Ralph offered...."

The Vandan's eyes glowed. "In a way. I have challenged many worthy opponents, and I do not regret in the least my agreeing to come along. However...."

"Hm?"

"I do still have a request for you, Mr. Amethyst."

The mage nodded again. "What might that be? If it's something I can manage...."

"I am certain it is." His eyes dimmed back to their normal red. "I would like to challenge you, Mr. Amethyst. Before I leave this world I had hoped to challenge its strongest knight. And since the 'Mage of Hell' has been defeated before I could battle him...."

Amethyst laughed. "Yes, I guess I probably moved up in the rankings after that, eh?" He looked over at the other guests; most of whom were still mingling around the area. "Well...."

---

What say you, Dareon? Teh Demented One

One last duel for old times' sake, or is it too late? (And if so I fully understand; I probably shouldn't have waited so long, heh.)

Edit: Well, that might be better, actually, Dareon. I imagine by now we're both out of "tourney mode," (I know I am, anyway) and I don't think I can write anything decent, heh. Don't worry about it; I'll put up something to finish this up before the deadline. *chuckles*

Dareon · DARKNESS Joined: 08 Jul 2002 Posts: 505 Location: HELL

Actually, Wayne, we are on EXACTLY the same wavelength. For about a week or so now I've been thinking about a Culex/Amethyst duel, and just kept forgetting to ask you about it. Very Happy

I'll go ahead and run with it, and if neither of us can think of much we'll just say that much pwnzage was handed out to both sides and the landscape. It can't be worse than the battle with Morag in Round Five, can it?

---

Amethyst thought for a moment, then stood, setting his untouched drink on a table and bowing to the crystalline knight.

"I gladly accept your challenge, Culex. Ah..." he looked around. "Let's adjourn to the rooftop before beginning. There's a region ship landing pad up there that should serve our purpose well and be easier to repair than the furniture in here." Culex nodded in agreement, and Amethyst turned to Ralph. "Could you take care of things for me here while I'm gone? I doubt any major crises will pop up."

"Of course, sir. Enjoy yourselves."

Though each could have quite likely gotten to the roof by quicker, less conventional methods, they both walked to the elevator and rode upwards in silence. With a ding, the elevator deposited them onto the broad stretch of tarmac atop the towering casino. Silently, the two fighters positioned themselves diagonally opposite each other in the center of the pad. Then, Amethyst patted himself down.

"...All my equipment was destroyed in the fight against Hell's Lord. Let's see..." The mage closed his eyes and held out one hand. In a flash of fire, the spiked and smoking sword of the Lord of Hell was in his hand. He looked at it. "...No, that won't do..." He closed his eyes again. The sword smoothed out and lightened, taking on a more usual shape and silver color with just a hint of iridescence.

Culex nodded, forming his own sword and summoning a pair of crystals. The two settled into ready positions and then, it began.

Helmar · Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2004 6:36 pm Post subject:

Darkness....rain.... tell me, now.
Moon....wind.... answer me, now.
Far....So far....in the distance, far away.
At the end of my journey, what is there?

Nova walked out onto the balcony from the crowded hotel. She sat down and stared past unknown constellations, thinking of the events of the past week. She idly ran her thumb over a ring she’d found as Wrexsoul had been defeated. The ring was an intricate braid of turquoise, silver, jade, smoky obsidian, and ruby; when she had first found it, she hadn’t thought it much more than a bauble…not that she’d had much time to contemplate it, being thrown directly into battle with the Lord of Hell.

As the time to return home approached, she realized the ring was a memento of everyone she’d met. Turquoise for the noble knight, silver for the fighter who survived by strength of will alone, jade for the Alter that controlled life, obsidian shot with grey for the fighter still finding her path, and ruby for both the silent scarlet rain and the warrior who shared a name with its color. As her thoughts turned towards home once more, she realized that she still had one more thing to do…

Nova grasped her blades lengthwise together, and willed them away. The Proof shot to the sky, seeming to becoming another star in the sky for a brief moment before disappearing altogether. It was best this way; Cephiro no longer needed a Pillar, and she had no intention of becoming one. She’d seen first-hand the results of someone thinking himself powerful enough to be a god, and wanted no part of it.

She half-turned in her seat as she heard someone step onto the balcony, then waved as Amethyst approached her. He gestured beside her and an ornate throne appeared; he frowned a little and the throne regressed into a lounge chair. Sitting on it gingerly at first, as if afraid it wouldn’t support his weight, he relaxed and turned to Nova.

“I’ve talked with Ralph and his superiors, and there’s nothing in the way of granting your heart’s desire. We’re in the process of finishing the final paperwork, and then you’ll have three days in Tokyo of RYE 572-“ The mage stopped as Nova waved a hand dismissively.

“There’s no need for it. I’ve finally realized that I knew what her answer would be all along. Besides…I know they’ll be back, someday. If only to see what we’ve made of the world.”

“Nothing at all?” Amethyst asked, disbelief obvious in his voice.

Nova reached out to the sky, trying to touch the stars. “The only thing I wanted from the beginning was my heart. I think…I think the tournament has already given me what I needed most. In the end, I finally realized how little I knew about myself.”

Nova traced part of the faint star-shaped scar on her chest that was left uncovered by her armor. “Even then…it was too little, too late. We barely managed to defeat Hell’s Lord…and in the end, it wasn’t much of a victory. I keep thinking of what would have happened if we weren’t here, if he really did manage to step across worlds. I can’t say with any certainty Cephiro would have been able to win against him…”

“But in the end, you were here. You, and everyone else, actually did save me. You managed to defeat Hell’s Lord, something even beyond the reach of u-“

“The Last Magician, Amethyst!”

“Greatest mage in the multiverse!”

They both blinked as tiny replicas of Blue and Rouge appeared on Amethyst’s shoulders. Nova’s tension disappeared as she burst into laughter while Amethyst groaned.

They sat on the balcony for several minutes, staring at the sky. Amethyst broke the silence, asking Nova, “What do you plan on doing now?”

“Looking back before the tournament, I knew who I was…but I denied it, even to myself. I knew my shield and energy bolts were actually Light-aligned spells, but never allowed myself to make the connection between my innate powers and the spells. Now…”

“Now I wonder what else I’ve been missing. Autozam, Chizeta, Faren…there’s still so much to see, so much to do even without leaving my own world.”

"A journey of self-discovery…that’s one thing these tournaments are good for, I suppose. I think that maybe we can only see who we really are once we’re away from familiar surroundings, away from the support of friends and family. If you’re certain you don’t want anything…” he paused as he looked again at Nova, who only shook her head, “…then take this, at least.”

Amethyst closed his hand, eyes closing as he concentrated. Nova cupped her hands as he reached out, dropping a pendant into her outstretched hands. A simple oval amethyst on a chain of gold glittered in the moonlight as Nova turned the gift over in her hands.

“A token of my gratitude for saving us. You should at least have something to remind you of what you did this week. When you look at it, remember that one should keep the past in mind, even with eyes gazing towards the future…and that no matter how far away from them you may be, your friends are out there.”

Nova handed the mage her ballot as he rose. For just a moment there seemed to be a wavering image in the air around her; a beautiful woman with fire-red hair and a wistful smile, perhaps a foot taller than Nova. He blinked as he took the paper from her hand, and the image vanished. The mage nodded to Nova and turned to leave, stopping as she spoke once more.

“If you ever feel you need help learning to control it, stop by the palace sometime. Just mention my name and Master Mage Clef should be able to help you.”

She giggled a little as Amethyst quizzically raised an eyebrow. She gestured to where the chair had been.

“In Cephiro, belief shapes reality; not all that much different from what you can do. We’ve developed it to the point where even our appearance can be shaped by will; the greatest mage on Cephiro is 745 years old and doesn’t look a day over twelve. Even if your ability isn’t the exact same as ours, we should at least be able to show you where to begin looking.”

She grinned at Amethyst. “Besides, isn’t that what friends are for?”

Amethyst smiled and nodded as he left the balcony. Nova glanced down at the necklace, then smiled warmly as she fastened it around her neck.

Embracing the light and shadow
that are trembling within my heart,
Chasing the dream I can't throw away,
Someday, I want to find
the eternally outspreading future.

The amethyst sparkled in the moonlight as she leaned on the balcony’s railing, staring at the stars once more as she thought of what still lie ahead…

*************************

Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence – Keitaro. Come on, you and I both saw that coming.
Best Dramatic Performance – Wrexsou…erm, Cyan.
Best Sig/Avatar – I’ll go against the flow and give this to Keitaro. While it may have not been the technical best, it did sum up the entirety of his character in one image.
Best Friendship/Alliance - Who exemplified the phrase "Plays well with others?" Keitaro and Sly, of course.
Best Omake - Lisa for the most disturbed game of StarCraft I've seen.
Best Fluffy Sidekick - Guri the Bishoun…Goblin.
Best Romance – While I don’t usually vote for myself, Nova and Sora is the only romance I can think of that even applies.
Best Rivalry – Drizzt/Revan versus Malak/Hunter.
Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award – Hrm…how about everyone who fought against Wrexsoul. Technically that preserved Wonderland, I guess.
Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue – I’ll toss this out to Asuka, with Culex as a very close second.
Best Continuing Storyline – Close one…of the three I recognize, I think Shizumaru did the best.
One-Man Army Award for Overcoming Extraordinary Odds - Keitaro of course. Armed only with his ability to survive obscene amounts of punishment, he survived a tournament with some incredibly powerful people, and came out on top against the Lord of Hell himself. Though he did lose against Matoko…but that’s par for the course…
Best Turnabout (Hero to villain or vice versa) - Akira hands down.
Best Change (Other) - Nova. Just go watch Rayearth2 already.
Best Hero - Red for championing -Burning Justice-.
Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy - Malak, who not only managed to be evil, but turn two sponsors to the Dark Side…and even keep one!
Best Duel – Urg…so many…choices…I think I’ll go with Akira/Malak versus Sly/Culex.
Best Viscerotonic – Of the few who actually played like a viscerotonic, I’ll go with Shizumru.
Best Cerebrotonic - SIEG PUM…er…Lisa.
Best Musculotonic - Drizzt
Most Original Interpretation of an Existing Character – I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back through SaGa Frontier again without remembering Amethyst. Hats off to you, Dare.
_________________
XXXHOLiC. It's all connected.

Dareon · DARKNESS Joined: 08 Jul 2002 Posts: 505 Location: HELL

Roughly half an hour after the two purple people had left the lobby via the elevator, they walked back in through the front doors, both somewhat battered and laughing. Ralph did a double take.

"Ah, sirs, weren't you on the roof?"

"Yes," said Culex, "We were." This set off a new round of chuckles from the two as they saw the bemused expression Ralph gave them. Amethyst paused a moment and pulled aside one of the waitresses.

"Tell the maintenance staff that the windows on several rooms in the 51st to 29th floors are broken, and offer my apologies."

Culex added, "One such room was also on fire when we left it, although I assume by now the suppression devices have taken care of that."

As the waitress hurried off, Amethyst turned to the Vandan Knight. "Well, sir Culex, thank you for the refreshing duel. And again, I'm sorry about the Water Crystal. It was annoying me and I just thought of neutralizing it..."

The Dark Knight held up a hand to stop the apology. "You did change it back. No harm has been done. And I, too, should thank you. While I cannot say truthfully that this has been the best duel I have fought, it was, as you put it, refreshing. Thus, I would like to present you with this." Extending a hand, the Vandan revealed the Quartz Charm within his palm. "It increases your natural power and protects you from the stroke of the Reaper in certain cases."

Bowing deeply, the mage took the charm and examined it. "Again, I thank you. And although it is my understanding you came along on this for the sole purpose of challenging the strong, I wish to present you with something before you go. A relatively minor trinket, but one you might find useful." He concentrated for a moment, and a fountain of light blue sparks erupted from his upturned palm, coalescing into a thick wristband of teal-colored metal, which he extended to the Vandan. "This is made of a naturally-occurring metal that seems to be rather unique to my universe. Harmonium has the capability to nullify any and all harmful sonic frequencies directed at the wearer. Although this may be of no use to you, I've learned that certain sonic frequencies are detrimental to crystalline structures. Plus if you don't need it, you could probably eat it."

Culex took the bangle, bowed, and nodded. "Either way, this will likely be useful. Thank you again. Now if you'll excuse me..."

Amethyst waved one hand. "Stick around a little, please, if you don't mind. We're about to hold the awards ceremony. Ralph, have all the ballots come in?"

"I believe we have all we're going to get ,sir." Pulling out his handheld, Ralph pressed a few buttons.

Awards Ceremony
All right, you'll remember I said tons of prizes. Well, here they are. First off, we'll go with the math-based ones. All of these were lovingly hand-cut-and-pasted from Ragnarok Online sprites and backgrounds. The last few of the Major Arcana were taken from unofficial mockups of the 3rd-level classes.

The Suit of Swords - Most damage dealt
Unfortunately, with this section and the following one, Cups, I shortsightedly left out any way to tally who had done the most damage/healing. I'm fairly sure Wayne wins one of these, though.

King of Swords - Most damage dealt overall
Queen of Swords - Second Place
Knight of Swords - Most damage dealt in one round
Page of Swords - Second Place

The Suit of Cups - Most healing dealt
Again, no way to tally.

King of Cups - Most healing dealt overall
Queen of Cups - Second Place
Knight of Cups - Most healing dealt in one round
Page of Cups - Second Place

The Suit of Wands - Most damage received
If I'd had no way to tally THIS, you'd have been completely justified in removing me for incompetence. Note that I decided each person could only win one award within a suit, meaning at least four (There were some ties) different people will be getting the court card awards in each suit.

King of Wands - Most damage received overall - The Curley Award: Jason Soe, with 222 damage.
Queen of Wands - Second Place: Red Okonogi, with 99 damage.
Knight of Wands - Most damage received in one round: Lisa, with 34 damage in Round Five.
Page of Wands - Second Place: Piastol/Nosferatu Zodd, with 32 damage in Round One.

The Suit of Coins: Most healing received
I'm not counting anything that was nullified due to the cap, mainly because I didn't tally anything over the healing cap.

King of Coins - Most healing received overall: Red Okonogi, with 61 healing.
Queen of Coins - Second Place: Tie: Hisame Shizumaru and Lisa, each with 58 healing.
Knight of Coins - Most healing received in one round: Tie: Nova Shido with 13 in Round Six, and Sly Cooper with 13 in Round Two.
Page of Coins - Second Place: Cyan Garamonde with 11 in Round Three.

Major Arcana - The Important Awards
Some of you might have wondered about the occasional odd award. This is why, they're based on the Major Arcana.

The Fool - Conker's Frying Pan of Comedic Excellence: Moogle's Keitaro Urashima.
The Magician - Best Dramatic Performance: Magus' Cyan Garamonde.
The High Priestess - Best Sig/Avatar: XKP's Conker.
The Empress - Best Friendship/Alliance: Procyon's Sly Cooper and Moogle's Keitaro Urashima, with the honorary addition of Wayne's Culex.
The Emperor - Best Omake: Tie: Procyon's Sly Cooper and Moogle's Keitaro Urashima.
The High Priest - Best Fluffy Sidekick: Luna's Guri, toted along by Lisa.
The Lovers - Best Romance: Baka's Sora and Helmar's Nova Shido.
The Chariot - Best Rivalry: Magus' Cyan Garamonde and Thirdtwin's Red Okonogi.
Justice - Amethyst Special Round-Preservation Award: Coin's Batman.
The Hermit - Most Introverted Character/Best Inner Monologue: CarlyCheeese's Hisame Shizumaru.
Wheel of Fortune - Best Continuing Storyline: CarlyCheeese's Hisame Shizumaru.
Strength - One-Man Army Award: Moogle's Keitaro Urashima.
The Hanged Man - Best Turnabout: Rain's Drizzt Do'Urden.
Death - Best Change (Other): Kyo's Akira Kazama.
Temperance - Best Hero: Magus' Cyan Garamonde.
The Devil - Chaos Award for Outstanding Villainy: San Draco's Darth Malak.
The Tower - Best Duel: Procyon's Sly Cooper and Wayne's Culex versus San Draco's Darth Malak and Kyo's Akira Kazama.
The Star - Best Viscerotonic: CarlyCheeese's Hisame Shizumaru.
The Moon - Best Cerebrotonic: Luna's Lisa.
The Sun - Best Musculotonic: Rain's Drizzt Do'Urden.
Rejuvenation - Most Original Interpretation: Wayne's Culex.
The World - The Winner: Hisame Shizumaru, sponsored by CarlyCheeese.

Seril · Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2004 2:50 pm Post subject:

FnordFromAbove · Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2004 5:55 pm Post subject:

Dare: LOVE the cards! Love...

To everyone else: Nice job! Everyone earned their awards very skillfully. Congrats again to Carly. And just wait until RTSo; my time will come eventually...

*DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER*

...

...

*cough*

Medic...

Dry · Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2004 4:09 pm Post subject:

(OOC: Here's my ending. It's not much, but...)

Geese walked through the crowd, scowling coldly enough to make anyone who looked at him edge away nervously. That was good; if anyone had stepped out in front of him, he'd have knocked them aside without a second thought. Geese's target was in sight...

"Amethyst!"

The purple clad mage, still standing next to Ralph, paused a moment before turning around slowly to face Geese.

"And you're...Geese Howard?"

"Yes. I've come here to claim my compensation."

Amethyst's expression darkened a bit.

"Compensation? What have you done to merit compensation?"

Geese scowled even more.

"It seems that all the other participants in this event of yours have been getting some form of compensation. So why should I not receive some form of compensation as well? Your little party inflicted a great deal of damage...damage that I'll have to pay for. On top of that, you dragged me along on this WITHOUT so much as asking me. So I think I'm entitled to some compensation."

Geese crossed his arms and glared at Amethyst. The mage tilted his head a bit and seemed to think about it...and then his expression changed to a tight smile.

"Alright then; you have a point. So..."

The purple clad mage snapped his fingers, and suddenly a small book was in his other hand. He handed it to Geese.

"This is a guide to the most powerful martial arts techniques in my world...including the most powerful of all, the Dream Super Combo."

Geese opened the book and began reading, his scowl gradually softening to an expression of interest.

"Interesting...if I can combine this with Hakkyoku Seiken -"

"I trust this will be satisfactory?"

Geese looked back to the mage.

"...this is not what I had anticipated, but...yes."

"Alright then. If you're ready to go back...?"

Geese nodded; Ralph pressed a few buttons, and the casino vanished in a swirl of mist. Geese once again found himself standing in his practice room atop the Chrysler Building...right beside a startled Billy Kane.

"Boss?! What happened to you?!"

Geese turned to his right hand man and smiled.

"Hehe...I'm fine, Billy. I was...called away. Now...how goes my empire?

"The Russians are holding this quarter of the city still; the rebel momentum has broken. The fighting is intense, but reinforcements are coming as quickly as the Russians can send them. It'll be tough, but we can win it..."

"Excellent. Now leave me. I want to practice these new techniques...and then we can move on to the business of crushing the rebels once and for all."

Billy bowed and left, closing the door behind him. Geese sat down and began to read the book...
_________________

Luna
THE PLACE
http://pub88.ezboard.com/bluna83999

Seril · Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 1:27 pm Post subject:

((OOC: This, as well, will be short.... for now. MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH))

Goodbyes had been said, yet Asuka still felt quite empty inside. While most of the contestants had lives to go back to, he had lost everything before the tournament started. His reward would be useless - He already had the power he sought. However, in his mismatched state of mind before the tournament, he hadn't realized what he had wanted the most...

Amethyst had already spoken to most of the finalists, and was now walking around in search of the remaining few. He came upon the lonesome figure of Asuka, clouded by grief and doubt. Walking over to him, Amethyst said nothing.

Asuka noticed Amethyst aproach him. Without even looking at him he said, "My heart's desire has already been fufilled," he laughed as if it were a joke, "There's nothing for me..."

Amethyst shook his head, "No. What you wish for hasn't, otherwise you wouldn't be like this."

Asuka turned, now facing Amethys, a questioning look appearing on his face, "What do you mean? I asked for-"

"It doesn't matter what you asked for," said Amethyst, "What exactly happened before all of this occured?"

Asuka told his story to Amethyst... Afterwards, Asuka commented on all of it, "I don't think there is anything you can give me that would ease this sorrow."

Amethyst shook his head once more, an idea forming in his head, "Not something I can give you... But there is something I can do for you. Another chance."

Asuka blinked, now getting the picture, "You mean..."

"I can send you back in time with my magic when I send you to your home universe. You can relive the same day. However, the rest is up to you."

Asuka smiled, nodding enthusiasticly, "Thank you! Please do!"

"Are you ready?"

Asuka's face turned to a more solemn one, "Please,just a little more time for respite?"

Amethyst laughed and nodded, walking off and leaving Asuka to himself.
_________________

That's a secret!

AsylumXKP · Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 4:33 pm Post subject:

Finale: CTRL+Z

Walking past Asuka, Conker stopped Amethyst in his tracks.

"So you've been the one in charge all along." said Conker, suprisingly sober.

"Hello Conker. Good to see you again." said Amethyst spinning around to greet the squirrel. "I hope you had a good time despite the whole demons in Hell thing."

"Oh don't worry about that, it wasn't completely your fault."

Amethyst shrugged. "That is true, though if only I was stronger."

"That couldn't be helped either."

"Let me guess, it's the doing of The Script?" chimed in Amethyst.

"I didn't want to say it, but yeah."

"Well it's an interesting philosphy. I didn't really appreciate it though until one tournament when I stumbled on my game in another world. It was then I started to believe that it may be true."

"Strange isn't it? The feeling that your story, your adventure, is being created by the hands of some other person."

"I'd say scary more than strange. But I digress, I try not to let it bug me too much." the mage shook his head. "By the way... You DO know that you're in a ga--"

"Yes I know." Conker interupted. "In fact I'm still getting royalties from it, and my soon to come out remake." Conker smiled, thinking of money.

"Now how is it you know this? Some latent ability?"

"Oh, no. Simple really. You just need to find the fourth wall, and break it."

"Fourth Wall? What's that?"

"It's hard to explain, as it's... Well, you'll know when you find it. I'll give you a hint and tell you it's something that doesn't look right at all, or perfect in every way."

"How zen." remarked Amethyst, with sarcasm in his tone.

Conker chuckled. "You know, this is my third tournament, and everytime I've seen you."

"Just a lucky pick I guess."

"You know, I think I've had enough of these damn things anyway. Think I'll retire or something." said the squirrel stretching his back.

"I got the same feeling, think my time is almost over." there was a silence for a few seconds.

"Well, best of luck to you, I'm headed home." Conker shook the mage's hand.

"Before you leave, allow me to give you this." Amethyst pulled out a jar containing a fairy.

"What the f#$% is that?" Conker eyed the jar oddly.

"It's a Plot Device Fairy. I'm sure you know how and when to use it." The mage handed Conker the Fairy. A fanfare played as Conker raised the jar into the air with one hand, looking up at the ceiling. As the fanfare stopped Conker pocketed the jar.

"Thanks a bunch Amethyst."

"Any time. Take care of yourself."

"Will do." Conker walked off, waving an arm at the mage. On the way to the exit he stopped by the bar to get a drink for the road.

"Scotch." said Conker. A bottle and glass was placed in front of Conker, who promptly served himself. He took a sip and paused in deep thought.

Conker remembered his times at earlier tournaments. The fights, the drinking, the new faces and places. Bowser, Yamazaki, Yoshi, Amethyst, Tom Nook, Fox, what's her face, and that other guy. Images churning through Conker's mind as he sat and drank in relative silence.

This silence was broken by a familiar voice.

"Die monster, you don't belong in this world." said Yoshi, egg in his hand. Conker spun around in his chair to face his rival.

"It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh." Conker took a sip from his scotch. "I was called here by... humans... who wish to pay me tribute."

"Tribute?" Yoshi stepped back slightly, as if offended by Conker's reply. "You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!"

"Perhaps the same can be said of all religion." The squirrel king calmly stirred his drink with his finger.

"Your words are as empty as your soul. Mankind ill needs a savior such as you..." Yoshi firmly gripped his egg.

Conker let his glass of scotch slip out of his hand, shattering against the ground, his face expressing anger. "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!" Conker stood out his chair and pulled out his signature frying pan. Yoshi's tongue lashed out and snagged Conker, pulling the confused squirrel into his open mouth. Conker struggled inside the massive jaws trying to get out.

"Okay okay okay! I give up! Uncle! Uncle!" The dinosaur spit Conker out, and into a slot machine.

"HA! Looks like Bowser needs to hire better help!"

"Bowser? Hired? I think you got me all wrong here."

"You attacked me several times two tournaments before, and you were aiding Bowser."

"Well, no shit, that's only because I was on his team! I was attacking you because you were attacking me!"

"So you're not one of Bowser's useless lackeys?"

Conker shook his head.

"Oh. Well then. This is awkward. At least this explains things."

"Yup."

"I guess we're even?" asked Yoshi.

"Good enough for me. Even though I could still whoop your ass."

"That's not what the folks at GameFAQ's say..." Coyfully said Yoshi.

"Oh PLEASE. The wankers at GameFAQ's are all a buncha FFVII loving tossers. But at any rate, I've got to get going."

"Okay. Next time we'll fight together on the battlefield!" said Yoshi.

"I highly doubt that." Conker waved as he walked off in the direction of the exit. He reached the double doors and took one last look behind him.

"Screw you guys, I'm going home." He opened the doors and left.

---------------------------------------

Conker found himself back alone in his castle throne room, still messed up from his previous fight. Placing his hands on his hips he shook his head at the scene.

"Hey. Author." said Conker.

Yo.

"Look. I got a question."

Yeah?

"WHAT THE F#%@ WERE YOU THINKING?" He yelled.

You mean the intro?

"YES! The Diddy Kong Terminator, the Agent Smith Weasel, the time traveling shit... You must have been smoking crack!"

Yeah, my bad. It seemed fine on paper until I took a few more looks and realized how shitty it was.

"And the tournament itself? 'Uhh I was busy at work and stuff...' that's some BS right there."

Fine, fine, fine. Shit man, I just wasn't feeling creative. You called me out.

"Well, from this day forth, I retire! No more tournaments!"

Suit yourself. Cameo's are still fine right?

"Maybe. Now write me out so I can go back to killing braincells."

One second.

Conker pulled out his Plot Device Fairy jar, opening it up. The fairy spun around Conker in a trail of glitter, before violently exploding in a shower of magical gibs.

"That was unexpec--" A bright flash and a massive shockwave tore through the throne room, tearing the fabric of space and time into bits.

"--ere to invite you to a tournament."

"AAAAHHHHH!"

"What?"

"No thanks, do you know how hard it was to get rid of my Comedic Award hosting gig? I want nothing to do with these tournaments anymore!"

"Well, that--

--is mouth began to move again. "I was thinking we could revisit battle mode, and make it so the rockets are replaced with harmless magic, so that way--"

"ARGH!" Conker groaned.

"Sir!" said a guard squirrel opening the throne door. He snapped to attention and saluted. "Diddy Kong would like to speak to you sir!"

"Sure, let him in!" said Conker folding his arms. Suddenly he realized something was fishy here. Suprisingly a second Diddy Kong entered the throne room, al--

--or lunch now Feebles."

"Very well sire." a plate was promptly placed in front of Conker, holding a sandwich. A cold bottle of beer followed, and a napkin was placed on his lap. Feebles the weasel, standing right next to Conker pushed a button on his headset. "Anything else sire?"

"No, that's all. Thank you Feebles." said Conker as he talked into the intercom. He snacked on his lunch, finally turning his head to--

--The sun was shining down on King Conker's castle. The king was outside lounging at the pool, sipping on a blue exotic cocktail with a little umbrella.

"This is the life." he folded his arms behind him, soaking up the sun. Suddenly he got back up. He pulled out a mini-calender and sorted through it. "Well, so much for doing nothing today!" he got back up and left the pool area.

One hour later in the "workout" room, Conk--

The sun was shining down on King Conker's castle. The king was outside lounging at the pool, sipping on a blue exotic cocktail with a little umbrella.

"This is the life." he folded his arms behind him, soaking up the sun. Time finally caught up to itself, and the script was rewritten.

"Ahh Hell, I should've gone back to before Berri died! Damnit, that's the second time!" Conker silently cursed to himself. He sighed then went back to lounging around. It dawned on him that something was still amiss. The pool in front of him was not his own.

Conker glanced around, noticing that there were no castle walls, instead there were palm trees, and two humans sitting near him, also lounging. One of the humans had gravity defying blonde hair and a huge sword sheathed next to him. The other was very pale skinned, had blue hair, and a scythe laying against his chair.

"Where am I?" asked Conker.

"Key West, Florida. It's where everyone goes to retire." said Cloud, raising his sunglasses temporarily.

"Florida? Retire? Aww f#@$. Might as well make the most of it. Who's up for some shots?"

"There goes th' neighborhood." said Magus, going back to lounging.

THE END.

Yup, that's it for Conker. He's now OFFICIALLY RETIRED. Not exactly going out with a bang, but it ties up loose ends.
_________________