Renmazuo |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 04:48
AM |
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Cute Widdle Cleric Girl
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Graveyard of
Airships
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Survivor X -
'Omake' Round
(This
be TK filling in for Kyo- tourney hijack! XD Nah, really, he's just
been pushing himself really hard, so this round's here to give us
all a break. I'm just posting it.)
Interlude -
Nation of Ease
Again the worn, hammered candidates
flashed into existence. Half were drenched and half were simply
taxed, but all shared haggard and worn expressions. However, as
experience had taught them, they could not afford to let their
guards down- a flash of white meant only more danger, and the last
round had seen it culminate. Even those who had sustained too much
damage in the prior round to fight straightened up for whatever
awaited them, weapons and powers at the ready.
To their
surprise, they found themselves staring not at a room of ninjas or a
labyrinth of demons, but at a quiet little beach, illuminated by a
sunset. It was like a hotel, with many quaint but luxurious
condominiums sit up in the form of dark brown huts- one set facing
the great ocean before them, the other off to the side, separated by
paths through tropical green underbrush. Off in the distance, the
tropical environment expanded, sloping up into a huge green
mountain- a dead volcano- that was half-hidden by clouds. Around one
side of that mountain was what looked to be signs of a distant city,
but on the other side there was only shadow, and the tropical forest
turned dark and shadowed there.
As the contestants' minds
boggled at this change of pace, Daisuke appeared in front of them,
his vesture betraying the exhaustion he felt. Jun, Dorrin, and
Kalten were nowhere to be seen, but Daisetsu was quite enough for
them to know they should listen.
"I'm sure you're all
wondering what this place is," he said, gesturing- pausing to fight
a wince- to the small beach enclosed by the wilderness. "This is
Darkke'an, an island not unlike Mithrik'an. At one time it was the
most violent volcano in the world, but it is now asleep. The
islanders have turned it into somewhat of a resort."
One
among the band- the young red-haired swordsman- looked around, and
tentatively raised his hand. "Ano...I hope this means what I
think it does."
Daisetsu nodded sidewardly. "Possibly. If
you're thinking you're in any danger right now, you're wrong," he
said. "The last fight taxed us heavily- some of you may feel a
slackening in the links with your Lords. Some of you were extremely
vicious in your 'test' last round, and Jun and Kalten have suffered
a lot of backlash from your fighting. As it is, our march on the
Naclos front has been delayed by their injury." He raised a brow.
"However...a recent development has conveniently forced Naclos to
slacken, as well, so we have some time. I'll be treating Lords Jun
and Kalten, along with Lord Dorrin- don't try to seek me out unless
I ask for it."
"So we don't have to worry about fighting in
this round?" a tall, shapely blond woman asked.
Daisetsu
shook his head. "No. You may of course fight, but I've enabled a
spell here that will ensure very fast regeneration for each of you-
none of you will fall. You have passed the test; you may now rest.
However, this skill will only last half a day- I must use my other
energies to attend to my brethren." He gestured to the whole of the
island. "The island is yours to do as you please. Train, eat, sleep
if you choose. The rooms here are all for you, the beds warm and the
food good. Take time off, if that's the sort of thing that pleases
you- there is a summer pool between the cottages and more springs
just a little north of here, in the jungle. Go riding or sightseeing
on the volcano- the wildlife nearby won't endanger you."
He
paused, his eyes wandering over the crowd- in particular, those
dressed in dark did not escape his stare. "If the thirst to fight
still is not sated in you, there is a solution." Daisetsu turned,
and pointed to the part of the volcano where the woods turned
twisted and dark. "That is Rhea Munde, the Dark Earth. Years ago, it
was said an ancient city was dragged down into the depths there in
the space of a single night. No one's ever ventured very far into
it, but there is supposed to be some sort of magnificent treasure-
or weapon- lying within. Be warned, though; the islanders say that
there are things walking those woods that should not be loose upon
the earth. However, with your powers at bloom under the spell,
you'll probably be all right."
One among them- the
scythe-wielding man in black- only smiled. Daisetsu recognized him
as the one who had dealt the Hokage the defeating blow. "A weapon,
you say?"
Daisetsu nodded. "Perhaps a weapon. Perhaps a
katana, perhaps a lance, perhaps a staff, perhaps a
greatsword...perhaps something even beyond that." He thumbed over
his shoulder, behind the second set of cottages. "However, if you
simply wish to train, there are fields out there. Don't expect any
dojos-" he noticed the cleric girl wince at that- "but the space is
broad and should fit your individual weaponry. If you wish to rest,
again, you can find food and drink and bed in your cottages. The
city off yonder is Zakgar- you may game there or obtain new weapons,
as well. Most any entertainment you can imagine lies
there."
He tugged a little at his collar- it had been a long
time since he spoke this much. He decided he'd wasted enough time,
and gave them one last nod. "Enjoy the next few hours- they are your
last before we go to war. Eat, drink, and be merry."
The
swordsman turned to go- paused. "Oh, and if you feel up for a swim
but don't want to get your clothes wet, for whatever reason, I think
they just got a new shipload of swimwear- 'Easy Ebony Enterprises'
or something runs the town out there, if I'm not mistaken.
Enjoy."
---
Nation of Ease-
Darkke'an!
In the wake of your test against Hokage
Kobatsu and his Jounin team, you find yourself on Darkke'an, the
largest of an archipelago far in the south. It's the best portrait
of a yin-yang paradise you could imagine- on one end, the city of
Zakgar, designed as a tourist trap/paradise city, where massage
parlors, luau, and all form of island entertainment form a heaven.
On the other end, the mysterious Rhea Munde woods, dark and
maddeningly deep, where there is said to lie a treasure or weapon
the likes of which have not been seen for a hundred thousand years.
In these woods lurk the most abominable creatures of any time-
perhaps ogres, perhaps demons (perhaps Mukki's bitter ex).
But the main feature is the tropical paradise you see- this
is a place where you can rest without needing to fear the next
attack. Daisetsu has made sure that you'll be well-taken care of,
and that you get a merciful rest before you tackle Naclos. Relax,
heal your wounds, build up your stories, marvel at the legions upon
legions of bikini girls here on lovely Zack Isla- uh, Darkke'an!
Well, just take it easy. Enjoy the sunset beach and the nightlife of
Zakgar, or venture into the unknown Rhea Munde and test your skills!
The decision is yours- comedy or drama, it's all up to you for this
round. You are, after all, in the Nation...of Ease.
^_-
Daisetsu, Jun, Kalten, and Dorrin will only
be available for interaction if Kyo decides so, but for right now,
assume they're at a place we can't get to. ^^;
Interlude/Omake Round will end whenever Kyo wants it to.
Real
specific. Yeah. That- that's because I wrote it, you know? 
"Virtus in
cordibus tranquillibus floret. Iustitia est mecum. Per animam meam,
cave. Cave."
-- Sponsoring Alma Beoulve, Survivor X.
IP: Logged |
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Bowling
Pin |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 06:57
AM |
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The 24 Edit Team Av
 Registered: Feb 2001 Location: Harker Heights, TX,
USA
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Cue
song: Final Fantasy VII - Casta Del Sol
Kyo Kusanagi's jaw
fell.
"Aw, aw shieyt! Aw, aw shieyt!" Kyo
yelled.
You know what this
means?!
Da
bitches...
Da
bitches... Kyo said, in a higher tone.
Da bitches... Gray said even
higher.
Da bitches! Kyo
sang like an angel. I kinda miss whupping
that ninja ass though, that was nice.
The four
rings Kyo now kept in his pocket began to fade away in their green
glow.
No radiation?
"Whatever that means..."
Kyo started. First things first; he was going to a jeweler to sell
some of the left over bling and then get his rings
examined.
***
Here ya go.
"Sharp Stones of the West." Kyo walked inside and found a
room lined up to the brim with jewelry, and noticed from a sign on
the wall that they do indeed buy, sell, and trade. "Nice."
A
sharply dressed salesman appeared from behind the counter at Kyo's
service.
"Can I assist you with anything sir?"
"Yeah,
actually, I was kinda wondering if you could give me an estimate on
the jewels I've got." Kyo grabbed the handful of rocks, sans the
rings. "Yeah...I know you want 'em."
"Hmm...they're very fine
specimens. Would you be happy with a generous 85
Ebony?"
"...85 Ebony? The fuck is an Ebony? ... No, wait,
it's a magazine."
"Ebony is this island's currency; I take it
you're unfamiliar..."
"Yeah, damn right I'm unfamiliar. Is
this a lot, or chump change, or what? What can an Ebony get
me?"
"If you want a rough estimate, well...let's say that 10
Ebony can get you a complete dinner at a five star restaurant." The
salesman went on.
"Whoa, nice! I accept it!" Kyo hurriedly
took the money and pocketed it, but quickly remembered his other
question. "Oh yeah. I wanted to ask this; what can you tell me about
these rings?" Kyo handed them to the salesman. "What are they made
of?"
"I can tell immediately...Amethyst. Moonstone. Rose
Quartz. ...and a pearl. The novelty is, the silver rings glow a
fading green."
"Great. Thanks." Kyo left the store with a wad
of cash and slightly more insight on the four
rings.
IP: Logged |
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Luna
|
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 12:16
PM |
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Tetragene
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Energy Nede
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Re: Survivor X
- 'Omake' Round
quote:
Originally posted by Renmazuo The city off yonder is
Zakgar-
ROFL XD
quote:
"Oh, and if you feel up for a swim but don't want to get your
clothes wet, for whatever reason, I think they just got a new
shipload of swimwear- 'Easy Ebony Enterprises' or something runs
the town out there, if I'm not mistaken. Enjoy."
XDDDDDDDDDDDDD
quote:
In these woods lurk the most abominable creatures of any time-
perhaps ogres, perhaps demons (perhaps Mukki's bitter ex).
*giggles* XDDD
"Rhea
Munde", indeed. xD
*will probably post something
later*
Go to the
light Kuyashisa mo zenbu kizameru tsuyosa o daite Ikutsu no
yo ake mo koeteku Watashi to iu arika mitsukeru tame....
IP: Logged |
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ShinkuuR |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 01:08
PM |
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New College Grad! Whoo!
 Registered: May 2001 Location: Savannah Ga
|
"3:10. She's late...she's never this
late..."
Jan continued to pace back and forth across the
living room of an apartment that was located in one of the ruffer
parts of Southtown. The neigborhood was filled with drug dealers,
theives, and other scum that walked down the streets, but they
calmed their activities ever since he and his sister took up
residence here. King took pleasure in breaking the bones of everyone
who made shady dealings in the area, and soon everyone, even some of
the strongmen left from Geese's empire, made it a habit not to get
too comfortable near this place. And in the end, it was all for his
benefit.
King was always there for him, trying to protect and
nurse him back to health, even going so far as to put her life on
the line several times in the King of Fighters tournaments to raise
the insane amount of money needed for his surgeries. He loved his
sister dearly, but he could always tell that there was a sadness
that layed deep down beneath her hardened exterior. As much as he
tried to destroy that part of her, he realized that the sadness
within her could only be broken by something else...or someone else.
He swore to protect her until that day came, just like she has done
to him all his life.
It was with those thoughts that Jan put
on his clothes and left the apartment, heading out to search for his
sister.
"You're still up?" Robert turned around to
see Yuri walking onto the porch and towards him in a half sleepened
daze, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. He was caught off guard by
the intrusion as his mind was wandering moments before, worried
about the pair who left the house about 9 hours ago.
"They
haven't come back yet."
"Ryo's never really been one for the
night life...think he's in trouble?"
"Don't know...but I'm
sure your brother can handle it. He's a big boy..."
Robert's
voice was drowned out by the sounds of an helicopter coming from
overhead. It positioned itself in front of the pair, hovering above
the ground low enough so that Chris could jump out and meet the
two.
"Did Ryo bring Steve back yet?"
"Huh?" The two
said in unison, having no idea what Chris was talking
about.
"Oh, great." He motioned Jill to land the heli while
he turned back toward Robert and Yuri, who were still confused about
the situation. "If we don't get to him and Steve soon, all hell is
gonna break loose in this town tonight."
After a moment of
silence, Yuri finally spoke ask she headed back into the house to
get her sneakers.
"When dad comes back, I'm gonna convince
him to move out of Southtown, cause this place is bullshit! If it
ain't gangsters, it's psychos! If it ain't psychos, it's super
powered twins! I can't even get a good night's sleep
anymore!!!"
"Don't forget about N.E.S.T.S and the Zero
Cannon." Robert
said.
"AAARRRUUUGGGHHH!!!!!!"
SRK Battle
Poll II:10th place - Edge SRK Battle Poll II: 5th place -
Link
One of the reasons why the '24' threads are too
good...
quote:
Originally posted by Azrael-sama
Not to mention
the Triple P's New Ho is going to get herself into all sorts of
shit. We didn't need to see Spinless Weasel Guy stuffing a gun
into his bag to know that's a trap. You have to hand it to Shin
Sherri, not only would she have recognized this blatantly obvious
set-up, she would have RC'ed it into about 7 different traps of
her own. By the time she was done with that guy, he'd be on
welfare and PREGNANT with HER kids.
IP: Logged |
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The
Damned |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 02:18
PM |
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Hyperion's servant
 Registered: Oct 2002 Location: Where you are
not.
|
Since
this round seems pretty slow. And I have not discovered what to
write yet, I decided to try and sastify my curiousity and finally
ask what I have been wondering for a while:
What the hell
does "XD" mean?
If the good
die young, then I'm effectively immortal.
Hyperion: "Stop the
asteriod, Magneto. Stop the asteriod, or I'll implode your
head."
Hyperion: "Give up this garbage and face the
inevitable, Magneto. You cannot defeat
me." Magneto: "Everyone has an Achilles
heel!" Hyperion: "Only Achilles had an Achilles heel.
I cannot be stopped."
Opposite attract only because
men are sluts and women are whores. Thus the equation balances out.
Last
edited by The Damned on 04-23-2003 at 02:22 PM
IP: Logged |
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Daisuke7777 |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 02:20
PM |
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K' -- KOF
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Ara? Oro? Eh?
|
quote:
Originally posted by The Damned Since this round
seems pretty slow. And I have not discovered what to write yet, I
decided to try and sastify my curiousity and finally ask what I
have been wondering for a while:
What the hell does mean
XD?
hahhahah .. XD is a face -- look at it sideways. It's someone with
their eyes closed and their mouth open. Yeah.. that's right
IP: Logged |
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ShinkuuR |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 02:23
PM |
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New College Grad! Whoo!
 Registered: May 2001 Location: Savannah Ga
|
quote:
Originally posted by The Damned Since this round
seems pretty slow. And I have not discovered what to write yet, I
decided to try and sastify my curiousity and finally ask what I
have been wondering for a while:
What the hell does "XD"
mean?
I knew it was only a matter of time before one of us asked
that question!
EDIT: In one of my CS textbooks they have
all sorts of E-mail crap I never even heard of:
:-(O) = I'm
yelling :-(*) = I'm vomiting <:-( = Dunce (-: =
Australian :-)) =Double chin
Have any of you ever seen
these before?
SRK Battle
Poll II:10th place - Edge SRK Battle Poll II: 5th place -
Link
One of the reasons why the '24' threads are too
good...
quote:
Originally posted by Azrael-sama
Not to mention
the Triple P's New Ho is going to get herself into all sorts of
shit. We didn't need to see Spinless Weasel Guy stuffing a gun
into his bag to know that's a trap. You have to hand it to Shin
Sherri, not only would she have recognized this blatantly obvious
set-up, she would have RC'ed it into about 7 different traps of
her own. By the time she was done with that guy, he'd be on
welfare and PREGNANT with HER kids.
Last
edited by ShinkuuR on 04-23-2003 at 02:29 PM
IP: Logged |
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The
Damned |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 02:24
PM |
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Hyperion's servant
 Registered: Oct 2002 Location: Where you are
not.
|
quote:
Originally posted by Daisuke7777 hahhahah .. XD is a face -- look at it sideways. It's someone
with their eyes closed and their mouth open. Yeah.. that's
right
Ah, I see. I'm so benighted when it comes to
the internet.
So it's just a combination of and then? That makes much more sense then.
Accursed
internet jargon. *shakes fist*
EDIT: Accursed typos of mine.
*shakes head* EDITEDIT: UGH!!!
If the good
die young, then I'm effectively immortal.
Hyperion: "Stop the
asteriod, Magneto. Stop the asteriod, or I'll implode your
head."
Hyperion: "Give up this garbage and face the
inevitable, Magneto. You cannot defeat
me." Magneto: "Everyone has an Achilles
heel!" Hyperion: "Only Achilles had an Achilles heel.
I cannot be stopped."
Opposite attract only because
men are sluts and women are whores. Thus the equation balances out.
Last
edited by The Damned on 04-23-2003 at 02:26 PM
IP: Logged |
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Soujiro
Seta |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 02:37
PM |
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The Silver Ogre
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Beyond Death
|
You're
right, Damned, this round is pretty slow. Though, I think that stems
from three key facts:
1. The round's end time is
indeterminate. Who wants to start a story in a round, not knowing
when their story may be untimely cut off, like some sort of painful
editorial circumcision?
2. Nobody will do anything of lasting
importance in a round that some people might not even read. To add
to that, I and probably every other person here have things asking
for their attention, such as schoolwork, and a round that doesn't
count for anything is a good deal lower in my priority list than one
where things happen.
But most important...
3. We don't
breathe out story-air. Most of us (myself included) would rather
write for a round where our actions and interactions matter, so we
don't needlessly spend good ideas on a round that isn't even an
official round. Round three was the perfect combination of battle
AND restfulness, so a round like this is unnecessary, from a story
point of view. From the point of view of Kyo/Darkblade77's health,
though, I think it might be warranted.
But I'm pretty eager
to get on with the story; it's been interesting so far, and I like
the sponsored characters as well. Hopefully, our host will rebound
with the strength of his immortal
guardian...viagra!
Last
edited by Soujiro Seta on 04-23-2003 at 02:41 PM
IP: Logged |
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Renmazuo |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 02:40
PM |
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Cute Widdle Cleric Girl
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Graveyard of
Airships
|
Orooo...now I feel guilty for writing it. XD; Really,
it's just up so we have something to do in the meantime, but yeah, I
guess it kind of falls flat on its face. ^^; If nobody really wants
to participate, I can always just edit it and the people playing can
just have a day off, or somethin'.
"Virtus in
cordibus tranquillibus floret. Iustitia est mecum. Per animam meam,
cave. Cave."
-- Sponsoring Alma Beoulve, Survivor X.
IP: Logged |
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CarlyCheeese |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 02:49
PM |
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Scarlet Rain Silence
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Feudal Japan
|
Actually, Damned, the XD smiley is meant to look like
this: http://barton.go-gaia.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_xd.gif
:E
(and
don't ask about :E)
And dun feel bad, Tenshi; I needed a bit
of a break, what with school and all. XD;
a lonely
soul ____________________ moonlit skies speaker of silence
________________ candlelit town footsteps in the night
_____________ eyes cast in gloom utter reliance
____________________ a saddened frown
sweet serenity
__________________ shielded by innocence waits to be broken
_______________ hidden by beauty its mouth aghast
________________ the demon sleeps within a demon hath spoken
____________ destroying naievte
~ hisame shizumaru, survivor
x - oboeru mo ~
IP: Logged |
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Dry31
|
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 02:54
PM |
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Judge/Jury/Executioner
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
|
"So...we get some time to rest up before the next
battle."
Zio, meanwhile, has reverted to her humanoid form
and is hovering beside Testament.
"So...what do you have
planned now, Testament-sama? Are you going to go after the sorceror
again?"
"Hm...no, I don't think so. With Daisetsu's
regeneration spell in effect, we would be unable to inflict any
lasting damage on him."
Zio looks surprised. Testament seldom
turns down an opportunity for bloodshed...then again, these ARE
unusual circumstances.
"So...what now then?"
"Now...I
shall go for a walk. I probably won't need you in the meantime...go
amuse yourself for a bit. But see to it that you return before it is
time to leave this place...and should I summon you, come
immediately."
"...time off?! Whee!! I'm sure there's lots of
cute boys...and girls...who would love to play with me! Teehee!
Well...until later, Testament-sama!"
With that, Zio flies
off, giggling with anticipation. Testament remains still for a
moment, then begins to walk towards the black
forest...
---
The dread force that is the succubus
Zio is now on the loose. If you're
remotely good looking in any way, she'll probably find you and try
to "play" with you, though if you make it plain to her that you're
not interested, she'll pout and head off in search of other
playmates. Use her as you see fit (within reason).
IP: Logged |
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Soujiro
Seta |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 03:10
PM |
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The Silver Ogre
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Beyond Death
|
Interlude - Stroking the Mast and Raising the Main
Sail
Yo-ho, yo-ho... ...yo, it's a couple of
ho's! We're going ashore!
The sea was calm and
tranquil, like a bottle of pepto-bismol that had passed the
expiration date. Waves rolled onto the sandy, white beach as
contestants frolicked, each hoping to him or herself that there was
nobody who would recognize them when all was said and
done.
But there was always a fly in the ointment of life. It
sat at the edge of the great lagoon, bobbing up and down in the
water.
No, no...not a fly, it was a ship, you
fools!
And not just any ORDINARY ship. It was...
A
PIRATE SHIP! (cue beer-guzzling German-Spanish polka
music)
"Arrrrr...those scurvy scalliwags think they can enjoy
the peaceful beaches of Darkke'an without payin' tribute to the
great pirate!" A handsome, clean-shaven man donned a gaudy black hat
that bore a logo appearing to be an 'XD' skull above two chicken
drumsticks.
"Well damn, we shouldn't be here either if we
haven't payed them tribute!" another man, wearing a tattered 'Can I
Invert your Rood?' t-shirt and a sweaty farm-laborer bandana,
replied.
"Blarrrrg, those pirates is US! US! Curses...of all
the privates I ever hired, why you, Private Renmazuo!? Why?" The
captain slapped his face into his hand, shaking his
head.
"Because the seas are made of water," the stalwart
youth replied, "and where there is water, there will be..." he
raised his hand in the air, so that to the sight of any viewer, it
would appear in front of the shining sun, "BABES IN BIKINIS!" He
whistled and hooted, pumping his arm a few times.
"Hmmm...yer
thinkin' may not be far from the good truth this time, Private
Renmazuo!" The captain slapped him on the back in a good-natured
gesture. "In fact, I think we shall mount a force to go ashore! I
seem to recall Crows-Nestman Carly saying something about a group of
partygoers on the beaches...though, it was right before I tried to
grope her, so the information may be false." He scratched his chin,
a look of perplexed puzzlement upon his face.
A voice from
behind them both spoke up, in the same sort of way people do when
they're purposely sneaking up behind you to scare the living crap
out of you. "Urgent report, Captain Soujiro!" the man replied. He
looked imposing, with suave hair, a well-trimmed goatee, and a long
blue coat that looked like he'd stolen it from a Naval secondhand
store.
"Aye, what is it, Boatmaster Wayne-o?" Captain Soujiro
Inquired, hiding his copy of "Boathouse" magazine from the staunch
helmsman.
"These newcomers that Crow's-Nestman Carly told you
about before you attempted to grope her, and failed as she
beatdownzed you with her spyglass," he watched as the captain
gritted his teeth. "Many of them seem to be claiming that ninjas are
better than pirates!" His face betrayed no emotion, save a cold
glare. Private Renmazuo and Captain Soujiro only stood there, a look
of shock plastered on their faces.
"N...ninjas....better than
pirates!?" Renmazuo stuttered. "Looks like it's time for an away
mission!"
Boatmaster Wayne nodded his head. "I agree."
Motioning to a burly guard to come hither, he commanded his order.
"Load up the longboat with our free copies of One Piece manga and
Skies of Arcadia for Dreamcast and Gamecube! We be goin' ashore!"
With a look of excitement, the guard ran off to gather a team to
ready the longboat for immediate departure.
"Aye, I shall
accompany thee, Boatmaster, along with Private Renmazuo here. No
attack a ninja could ever do can draw on a power as large as his
incredible testosterone reserves!" He raise a bottle of rootbeer
high in the air. "To the shore! Sex marks the spot,
mateys!"
"Pirates foreveeeeeeer!" Private Renmazuo shouted,
waving his hands like an excited child, subsequently tripping on a
wet swab that someone had obviously left lying about after swabbing
the deck. "Ow...er...pirates for mostly-ever!"
Wayne and the
Captain raised their bottles to the sky, chanting
together...
"We are...." they pointed out, toward the reader,
wherever they were.
"The men..." Private Renmazuo bounded up
to join them for the last.
"Of the SEA!!!" Their fists all
met in midair in a moment of triumphant passion...and then they
pulled them back, shaking their hands to relieve the newly-hurt
knuckles.
---
Captain Soujiro, Private Renmazuo, and
Boatmaster Wayne are rowing ashore in the longboat, with about ten
other crewmen of their PIRATE ship - the 'Whale's Whiskers'. They
come bearing pirate propaganda of the most desirable variety, but
will the contestants choose the way of the hoard...or the way of the
sword? Wooo.....mysterious to-be continued!
---
And
yes, it's the same Captain Soujiro and Private Renmazuo that have
appeared at random in tournaments before, in slow moments when
nothing seems to be happening. 
Last
edited by Soujiro Seta on 04-23-2003 at 03:15 PM
IP: Logged |
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Baka
|
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 03:48
PM |
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Heaven or Hell?
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
|
"Yo,
sensei?"
"Yare yare... nani ka?"
"Pirates
ho."
"Hai."
The ninja group slipped into the bushes,
zipping left to right up to the cliff. From a distance, one found it
difficult to tell them apart, because of their stylish black outfits
and masks.
Well, they ARE ninja, after
all.
Reaching the shore, they gazed out at the lumbering
ship making its way towards the shore.
"Aw man, pirates.
That kinda sucks, sensei, y'know?" The one ninja sighed, kicking his
feet over the edge. "Now now, Durey-san, do you remember our
mission?"
"Yeah. Watch for pirates and warn the
village."
"And what are we gonna do now we've found
pirates?"
"Warn the village?"
"No." Durey-san looked
at him, what could be seen of his face looking puzzled. "You try
answering, Exu-san." The second ninja grinned. "We take 'em out!
Stinkin' pirates." "Wrong again. Duraco?" "Dunno,
Baka-sensei."
The three ninja looked to their sensei for
advice.
"Tell ya when we get there."
The ninja
slipped silently across the water to the pirate
ship...
-----
The ninja foursome have invaded the
pirate ship! BUT WHY ARE THEY THERE?
Baka // Black
Angel // Salva Nos
"I'm not good- looking enough to be
party leader." - Robin Cook
IP: Logged |
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Daisuke7777 |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 03:50
PM |
|
K' -- KOF
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Ara? Oro? Eh?
|
quote:
Originally posted by CarlyCheeese Actually, Damned,
the XD smiley is meant to look like this: http://barton.go-gaia.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_xd.gif
:E
(and
don't ask about :E)
And dun feel bad, Tenshi; I needed a
bit of a break, what with school and all. XD;
::Proceeds to go :E::
IP: Logged |
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Baka
|
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 04:35
PM |
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Heaven or Hell?
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
|
Ky and Sol's
Epic Quest - Part 1.
Fire... and Lightning.
In my right hand, I
hold the Fuuraiken, Thunderseal. The hope of the Order, gifted to me
by my mentor.
In my left hand, I hold the Fuuenken, Fireseal.
The secret of the order, stolen by.. Sol Badguy.
And now, the
blades reunited, I feel a sense of... power. Something greater than
myself. Something... magical. It makes me wonder what would happen
if the other Jinki were combined..
Enough musing. Now...
Trees. Lots of trees. Trees and monsters. Lots of
monsters. Ky's side already ached from a wound given to him earlier
- but it seemed to be healing - the indigenous healing of this place
obviously. He'd already defeated a whole passel of spiders, but
this? This was new.
"FE! FI! FO! FUM! I SMELL THE GARLIC OF A
FRENCHMAN!"
Mon dieu. A man can't help his birthplace, and
since when were giants so rude? Still, this didn't help the fact
that the way to the sunken city was blocked by.. well, currently
about 50-foot of giant. Oh well... time for battl-huh?
"HA-DO-KEN!"
A blast of fire cut a swathe through the
forest, obliterating the huge green form. Ky squealed like a woman,
ducking and covering, like they taught him in the forces, only
looking up when the hairs on the back of his neck had fully
subsided. Looking up, he sighed heavily, as a red-clad booted figure
strode into the.. uh.. well, it USED to be a clearing..
"Stupid giants. Had to pull out the install for that one."
Sol Badguy wiped some dust from his hands and began to walk away -
then noticed Ky.
"Uh.. Kiske.. whatcha doin' on the floor? I
know I'm great, but really, no need to grovel."
Da-da-dum dum dum.. Another one bites the
dust...
Baka // Black
Angel // Salva Nos
"I'm not good- looking enough to be
party leader." - Robin Cook
IP: Logged |
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Soujiro
Seta |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 04:50
PM |
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The Silver Ogre
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Beyond Death
|
Interlude - Sea Men
The longboat
plowed into the sandy shore like a wedge of really hard cheese,
causing all the heads on board to snap up at once."
"Alright
men, we have an important mission here!" Captain Soujiro bellowed
out above the sound of the crashing waves - like the waves that
tried to crash - in vain - upon his immovable shore of manliness.
"Our eternal enemies, the Subaka ninja clan, claim to 'defend' the
people of Darkke'an, while in reality, they only seek to keep the
good citizens from buying our 'bargain priced'
wares!"
"Inconceivable!" shouted a shirtless youth, hopping
from the longboat into the frothing shore and running up the beach.
His shirtless demeanor and hairy chest had earned him the name 'The
Stomach Ass'. "Ninja get killed from the shadows...pirates get free
stuff everywhere they go! It's obvious that pirates ***z all
ninjas!"
"Kruuseider is right!" An effemenate, blue-haired
man stood up in the boat, loading his pockets with free copies of
Skies of Arcadia to distribute to the children of Darkke'an. "What
do ninjas have that I don't?"
"Well, Krizak, they don't have
a Puff the Magic Dragon tattoo on their arm for starters,"
Boatmaster Wayne began to chide the dragon-loving pirate, but was
shushed by Captain Soujiro, whose manliness-inspiring hand gestures
(read: flailing) caused him to totter, almost losing his balance in
the grounded boat.
"What're we waiting for?" Private Renmazuo
raised one hand courageously, while off-camera, his other hand
scratched an itch in his pelvic region. "Let's bust up those ninja
and show Kalten's friends that the pirate's life is TRULY the
life!"
"Kalten?" A sexy blonde, with an extra eye in her
forehead and carrying the biggest tuna can opener any of them had
ever seen, entered into their discussion as she walked down the
white sands of the beach, her volptuous body clad only in a
revealing black bikini.
"Aye, our mate Kalten!" Kruuseider
sobbed, tears of memory flowing from his moist eyes. "He left
Darkke'an to become a great warrior, left us, his pirate buddies!
Heard he always tells other people some nonsense story about being
from some OTHER land, almost like he'd feel it was a disgrace to be
associated with us..."
Opera's third eye widened suspiciously
as the pirate wearing a black hat with...an 'XD' skull and two
crossed chicken drumsticks imprinted on the front waltzed toward
her.
"Seldom have I seen such a...radiant...healthy beauty!"
he bowed to her, taking off his hat, brown hair flopping down in his
face. In reality, he was scoping her full-on cleavage. "I am Captain
Soujiro, of the legendary Whale's Whiskers pirates! You may have
heard of us; roaming the uncharted waters, stealing whatever pieces
of music we want. This here is the longboat we nicknamed 'Pier 2
Pier'."
"Uhm...I'm...ah...not sure what to say." Opera
fidgeted, digging her toes into the sand.
"The line,
Captain!" Private Renmazuo shouted, prompting a cacophony of hoots
and hollers from the rest of the crew. "Give her the ultimate line
you've been practicing for all of last month!" Soujiro's face turned
red, and he seemed to draw in a breath of both air and spirit. He
turned to where the sunlight glinted off the beautiful blonde's
curves, mustering up all his courage.
"Well damn, I must be
huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' your chest!" At his classic
pirate pick-up line, the boat turned into an uproarious fury of
wolf-whistles and shouts of the names of random body
parts.
"Aaaaa, I'm gettin' out of here!" Opera panicked.
"Come on, bunny!" No sooner had she cried out than a large, white
rabbit barreled down the beach, tossing Opera on its back and fading
into the distance.
"Let's get her, she's gettin' away!"
Captain Soujiro cheered as the longboat emptied of its crew and
contents. "And where she goes, the rest might be too, and then we
can spread our pirately love to them all! They shall all be..." He
waited on the crew to
answer.
"Men...."
"Of...
"THE
SEA!!!"
"Arrrr! By the cover 'o me bible! The ship's being
attacked by the Subaka ninja clan!" Wayne spun around, donning a
pair of mean-looking sunglasses. "What'll we do?"
"Don't
worry," said a young woman as she stood up seductively. "I left
Carly and some of the others to watch the boat. She hasn't eaten
in...almost half an hour! Without her blood-sugar level up to its
normal extreme spike, those ninja won't know what hit
them!"
"You're so sexy when you hatch a plan, Kell!" Renmazuo
lept toward the girl and met her outstretched brass-knuckled fist in
midair.
"This way!" shouted Wayne, already at the top of the
beach. He whipped out an impossibly-huge chaingun from the depths of
his navy-blue sea-coat. "We'll show them how pirates fight - with
the sword, and with a brigade's worth of
ammunition!"
"***zage!" shouted Kruuseider, leaping into a
giant metal humanoid machine previously kept offscreen. "Powering up
Gundam WANGZER! They shall fall to my Shining Middle Finger attack!
Feel the breath of 1995's only Virtual-On tournament perfect-score
winner!"
And with a shake, rattle, roll, and some more
carousing, the pirates were off, following a large, deranged rabbit,
and in search of both the contestants, and their mortal enemies, the
Subaka ninja clan.
IP: Logged |
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The
Damned |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 04:56
PM |
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Hyperion's servant
 Registered: Oct 2002 Location: Where you are
not.
|
Time
for me to get to work:
King Omake Chapter:
Even the Gods Vacation Section 1
Darrke'an (The Nation of
Ease)
"Stupid sand."
King pouted as
she stopped to take off one of her shoes yet again, turning it over
to dump out the sand that had collected in it. After vigorously
shaking the sand to make sure that she got all of it out this
time, she put the shoe back on, still irascible from yesterday. Or
was it today? She could never be that certain with all this damn
sudden teleporting.
She did not start walking again though.
Instead, she quickly plopped down on the sand, ignoring its unusual
heat as she took a cross-legged position. And though not one for
religious "enlightenment", especially of the Eastern kind, King sat
quietly, allowing her chin to drop into the palm of her right hand
after propping the appended its arm on the edge of her right knee.
She allowed her mind to empty of all things that didn't have to do
with what Daisetsu had delivered to them in another of his speeches
just twenty or so minutes ago. Her mind's eye focused on the segment
that had most interested her.
"If the thirst to fight
still is not sated in you, there is a solution," he had turned to
point at the part of the volcano where the woods appeared twisted
and dark. "That is Rhea Munde, the Dark Earth. Years ago, it was
said an ancient city was dragged down into the depths there in the
space of a single night. No one's ever ventured very far into it,
but there is supposed to be some sort of magnificent treasure- or
weapon- lying within. Be warned, though; the islanders say that
there are things walking those woods that should not be loose upon
the earth. However, with your powers at bloom under the spell,
you'll probably be all right."
She didn't want to really
admit it, but she was still looking for a fight. Even after the
prior events of Hokage Kobatsu's sadomasochistic ninja orgy and her
own private massacre of the unfortunate Yuutokuno Clan, she was
still looking to kick some ass. And preferably not any more ninja.
No, she had had enough ninja ass to last her the rest of her
stressed existence.
Thus, King came to the conclusion of
"Why the hell not? I'm practically invincible." and shrugging,
preceded to make her way to towards the forest. Before she got to
the entrance, however, a whitish gateway manifested within that
spot, crackling with energy.
"What now?" King sighed,
clearly still irritated. The form of a man stepping from the portal
answered her. She saw that his flowing blonde hair barely made it
out of the portal before the portal closed as abruptly as it had
opened. She recognized him as the man who had held his own against
two of the jounin.
"I sense much tension in you," he spoke
softly but firmly. "Also, it would seem that you are the only person
here who is even considering to venture into the depths of Rhea
Munde. You are not as invincible as you think are."
"I
don't have time for you sagacious "advice"," King sneered. "So move
it or lose you psychic Fabio, or I guarantee you won't sense my foot
before it finds your face." She shifted into her Muay Thai
stance.
"You could try, but there would be no point," the man
replied, seemingly sympathetic. "I simply wish to make sure you
don't get killed by anything otherworldly as you
seemed to have quite the trouble with that one demon in the
arena."
At the mention of the embarrassing event that
happened two days ago, King dropped out of her stance. She moved
towards the man, the mage, and then sighed.
"Fine. But may I
know who accompanies me then?"
"You may call me
Amethyst."
"I am King."
And with those concise
introductions, King and Amethyst headed off towards Rhea Munde,
side-by-side.
----
I hope you don't mind me using
Amethyst. I'll change if need be.
If the good
die young, then I'm effectively immortal.
Hyperion: "Stop the
asteriod, Magneto. Stop the asteriod, or I'll implode your
head."
Hyperion: "Give up this garbage and face the
inevitable, Magneto. You cannot defeat
me." Magneto: "Everyone has an Achilles
heel!" Hyperion: "Only Achilles had an Achilles heel.
I cannot be stopped."
Opposite attract only because
men are sluts and women are whores. Thus the equation balances out.
IP: Logged |
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Bowling
Pin |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 05:08
PM |
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The 24 Edit Team Av
 Registered: Feb 2001 Location: Harker Heights, TX,
USA
|
Cue
song: SSH - Dr. Wily
Hulk went to beach. Hulk get
head.
IP: Logged |
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Baka
|
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 05:17
PM |
|
Heaven or Hell?
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
|
Ninja >
Pirates
On the
deck of the ship, Baka-sensei smiled beneath his slim-line
ultra-cool facemask. The ship never lasted a second - the sole line
of defence had been bypassed with the aid of a Ninja Burger™,
cunningly applied by Exu. Duraco was searching the hold for pirate
treasure to liberate, and Durey was... uh...
"Durey, what are
you doing?"
"Nani? I'm splicing the mainbrace, sensei."
"Well stop that and get over here. We have
trouble."
Sure enough, a horde of pirates was headed their
way, sporting.. well, entirely too many weird things. Baka drew his
weapon silently, the only sound being the sound of pencil scratching
on paper. When he'd finished, he pinned the drawing to the mast and
admired it. "Hey Exu, whatcha think of my drawing?" he said, the
worried Exu pointing soundlessly as the pirates drew near.
"What? Oh, don't worry about them. Ninja always outthink
pirates." Durey frowned - behind his slimline mask, of course. "Uh,
we do? Can we do it fast, please?"
The pirates rushed back up
their gangplank - as it disappeared under them, sending them
plummetting into the water. Duraco grinned. "Lookin' for this,
mateys?" he said, spinning it over his head...
Well, after a
short period of swimming, blustering and drinking later, the ninja
finally put their books down to face the pirate crew. Cap'n Soujiro
grimaced manfully at Baka-sensei.
"Arr! You be ninja on our
ship yarr!"
"...that is correct, yes."
"Arr, we
should keelhaul ya and make yer walk the gangplank. Arr."
"I
assure you, I can swim. As for keelhauling, you can leave my haul
alone."
"Arr! Be you trying to make fun of me?"
"No,
I'm succeeding. Do or do not, there is no try, and all that Star
Wars shiznat."
"Yarr. I be havin' enough of this. Renmazou,
pirates, get 'em!"
Baka-sensei clicked his fingers, and with
an explosion of smoke, the deck was filled with other ninja -
Sulippu, Onicksu, TeeTee, Kai-oh,and their horde of ninja mooks
readied their weapons and grinned (Through those best-look masks,
available from Easy Ebony Enterprises™). Stepping forward, Waynu,
the Christian ninja infiltrator, took up his place beside his
brother Duraco.
"Now, my unwashed friend, the tables have
turned..."
Baka // Black
Angel // Salva Nos
"I'm not good- looking enough to be
party leader." - Robin Cook
IP: Logged |
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m121akuma |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 05:50
PM |
|
t3h 3v1l av: Part 2
 Registered: Apr 2001 Location: Southfield, MI.
Bitches.
|
Brain
dead right now....Just posting to say I posted in every
round.
Southfield
Board of Education: Prepared to be Schooled
quote:
Originally posted by Starhammer SRK.com is the new
evercrack. All we need is some Idiot to kill someone and blame
SRK.com for it, and its status will be
irreversible.
-Starhammer-
---Team Southfield
Website---
IP: Logged |
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Exeter |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 05:56
PM |
|
Rock You
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
|
~It's
A Beautiful Day~ Sol Badguy--Intermission?
Fat bottomed
girls you make the rockin' world go rou--ah shit, there I go
again.
It was times like these that made Sol think he was
coming down with something; an illness of the mind, one which not
only seemed to make him hear music in his head but also reduce his
once rational, scientific mind to one where random mumblings were
the norm. A side-effect of the Gear process? He'd liked Queen music
even before he'd been a Gear, of course, but sometimes he
wondered...
Damn I need a smoke.
Ah, that was
it. The cigarettes couldn't give him lung cancer, so instead they
were melting his brain.
Aloud, he said, "Would you stand the
hell up? You're freaking me out here."
Glaring at him, Kiske
pushed himself to his feet and snapped, "What do you want,
Sol?"
Right now? A beer, a beautiful woman, and a
Harley.
"Oh, nothing," he muttered instead. "How you
likin' the Fireseal there?"
Ky glanced at the crimson and
white blade in his hand. "I suppose you want it back?"
"Nah.
If you're willing to carry it for me for a while, who'm I to
complain?"
Narrowing his eyes, the blonde knight looked about
to say something, but finally turned away instead.
"Hey,
relax, kid," Sol said with his biggest fake-grin. "I'm sure we'll
have plenty of time to finish our little scrap later. Right now, I'd
rather take a nice stroll through the forest. Now, if you'll excuse
me..."
As he turned to leave, the high-pitched, maniacal
laughter of a horde of small creatures erupted from the
trees.
"Huh?"
The next thing he knew, Sol was facedown
on the ground. Lifting his head to catch a glimpse of his attacker,
the bounty hunter grunted his dismay as he laid eyes on a tiny,
demonic red-and-orange creature holding a knife.
The
hell's this thing? A goblin?
As a knight wearing a helmet
and naught else ran by screaming, "Agh! They've found me! AGH!", Sol
wondered for the first time why he hadn't become a french fry
cook.
As Ky readied his weapons and Sol pondered the meaning
of life, the forest imps attacked, snickering all the
while.
IP: Logged |
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Krizak |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 06:06
PM |
|
The World Shall Be Mine!
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: East Heaven Kingdom
Goal: WORLD DOMINATION!!!
|
Omake Phase (Relaxation): Can You Feel The
Libido!?
The skyline was low, with only a few buildings
taller than one story, and it was filled with a eclectic mix of
different architectural styles. The city was like a wild painting
created with the brightest, most vivid colours the artist could
possibly find. Stalls lined the streets, their vendors calling out
into the crowds of tourists, luring them in with promises of exotic
wares and fantastic deals.
Second point goes to Elysia,
because she actually gave us swimsuits instead of making us go buy
them ourselves... Mint thought as she wandered through Zakgar,
working her way through the crowds of tourists. And how am I
supposed to find anything in these stupid
crowds?
Suddenly, over the din of the crowed, Mint heard
a familiar voice calling out. "Hey, hey, sexy swimsuits for sale!
Great for accentuating all those lovely curves! Come on, ladies,
don't be shy! I have ALL your needs covered, oh
yeah!"
It's not possible... Mint hurried through the
crowd, pushing people out of her way and garnering angry glances and
muttered curses. Finally, she managed to break through the throng of
tourists, and found herself near a large stand selling female
swimsuits of all types. Bikinis, monokinis, tankinis, microbikinis,
v-bikinis, one-pieces, and thong singlets all hung from the roof of
the stall, and more were folded on the shelves alongside suntan
lotion, sunscreen, sunglasses, binoculars, and all sorts of other
accessories that would be useful at the beach. And at the back of
the stand stood the man, the legend, the apparently inescapable
Zaxu, now shirtless and surrounded by at least two dozen incredibly
sexy women who could barely stop themselves from wonking him right
then and there.
"...but then, when all hope seemed lost and
the dreaded Gredgetrance was about to comsume the poor orphaned
children in one chomp of it's mighty jaws, I came swooping in, hair
gelled to perfection and Fuupantiken singing in my hands. The
creature put up a great struggle, but I was able to keep going all
night long, and finally ended the battle with a few quick thrusts of
my sword!" Zaxu flashed his most charming smile, causing one woman
to faint from his incredible sexiness. "Well, ladies, shall I regale
you with another one of my incredible tales? Or perhaps we should
start my 'lunch break' a bit ear-AHH!"
Zaxu jumped back a
metre and screamed like a little girl as Mint managed to work her
way to the front of the crowd of women. "Ahh! Scary little devil
girl! What are you doing here!?"
Mint held up her rings in a
threatening manner. "I'm holding the rings here, I'll ask the
questions! Now, how did you get here so fast, you
[expletive]?"
Zaxu rubbed the back of his head, a nervous
grin creeping on his face. "Well, I was on the way to the harbour
when you blasted me, and the Nation of Ease is only a short distance
from Mithrik'en." Mint's cold glare told him that his answer wasn't
good enough. "Uhh, you see, this is the busiest time of the year
here in Darkke'an, and there's no better way to, uh, pick up
gorgeous women than to sell them sexy swimsuits." At this, a murmur
ran through the crowd of women behind
Mint.
"What!?"
"This is all a setup so he can pick up
woman?"
"He's just using us!"
"I thought those stories
of his sounded fake!"
One of the women stepped forward, her
hair as black as night. Her name was Luna, and her wrath was second
to none. "We won't stand for this! Let's get him, girls!" With a
cry, Luna ran forward and tackled Zaxu, driving him to the ground.
The rest of the women surrounded the tackled swordsman and began to
beat him with furious abandon, causing the fallen man to moan in
pain and agony.
Backing away from the crowd of crazed women,
Mint chuckled to herself, and then turned and picked out a pale blue
bikini with a white flower pattern. "Ahh, this looks like it'll fit
me... and since it seems as though the owner of this stand is
preoccuppied... hehehe..."
---
In the grand tradition
of the omake...
1 Horde of Angry Women Vote against
Zaxu (I guess there's a difference between Zaxu and Zack
after all: Zack's good at this.)
IP: Logged |
|
Soujiro
Seta |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 06:09
PM |
|
The Silver Ogre
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Beyond Death
|
Interlude - I Wanna Enter Your
Port
"Wayne! How could you switch sides!" Captain
Soujiro was more than crestfallen - he was crest-completleyfallen.
"We've been together through thick and thin, even since Grammar
School!"
"And even then, secretly, I studied the way of the
ninja," Wayne smirked, a look of satisfaction on his face. "I became
a master of the shadows..." His brother, the ninja Duraco, elbowed
him. "Of course, I did it all for Jesus. With these ninja skills,
it's so easy to slip into peoples' houses to place the church
pamphlets directly on their counter, where they can't miss
'em!"
"Blimey..." Krizak shook his head, a washed-out look on
his face. "Good 'ol Wayne-o was no better than one of them Jenova's
Witnesses all along..."
"Eat lead, bone thugs!" shouted
Kellios as she twirled in the air, rebounding off the great surface
of the sail. With a punch of piratey power, she sent the tall,
British-looking ninja Sulippu reeling, then flying up to dodge
origami shurikens made of paper, which the Subaka clan had folded
while bored during study hall.
Suddenly, an invisible lance
seemed to pierce her arm, causing her to fall to the
floor.
"Get over here!" laughed Onicksu, as his shadow-skill
pulled the downed pirate toward the ninja group.
Captain
Soujiro stepped forward, a green ball of energy forming in his hand.
A blade hovered above the ball, and a handle below it, both made of
the same energy. "Aye...it's a good day to taste the blade of the
Meta-Ragnarok, it is! Although, it also sounds like a good day for
ale and stale biscuits, don't you think?"
Krizak could stand
no more, he ran forward like the wind, instilled with the magical
power of his Puff the Magic Dragon tattoo. "Can't we all just get
alooooong!?" His words hung in the air, the same way hot caramel
does before coming down to melt your ice cream.
"Where's your
weapon?" a voice shouted, coming from the door to the hold. Krizak
looked down and saw that indeed, he grasped no weapon - his hands
were clenched full of the flower petals he was going to throw after
making his stylish attack.
"What an oversight!" Krizak na'ry
had time to speak, as the dark ninja TeeTee split into three in
front of his very eyes.
"Third Twins Attack!" the ninja
shouted, and Krizak flew into a cannon, victim of a special ninja
technique.
"Yamero." A gruff voice came from the middle of
the ship, between the fray. All eyes turned to see a youth in a
tattered t-shirt, wearing a red bandana. His eyes were filled with
loathing, and he carried a mop in each hand, and one clenched
between his teeth.
"Yamerooooooooooo!" He flew forward, each
of his lightning strikes sending enemy ninjas flying like full soda
cups that you accidently fumble stupidly at a fast food
restaurant.
"Is that Private Renmazuo?" Captain Soujiro
squinted, making out the blazing, blurred form of the man wielding
three mops like a demon out of janitorial hell. "My god...all those
times I had him swab the deck...it's built up in him an unreal
strength with the mop! Those ninjas might not be enough for his
pirate strength!"
Renmazuo seemed to disappear, much to the
surprise of the ninja, who thought that only THEY could move that
fast. "Pretty Formidable Technique One - Kimono no Kaizoku!" He
dashed between them spinning his mops of doom like a typhoon,
ricocheting off the ninjas like both a pinball and basketball player
looking to win an award for technical fouls (like Shaq!)
He
stopped behind them, smiling for only the camera to see. On the ends
of his three deadly mops he held a panoply of...NINJA BELTS! He
turned to the Subaka ninjas and snapped his fingers. As he did so,
their pants fell down about their ankles, as if on cue.
"Kono
yarou!" Baka, the inheritor of the Subaka style, shouted in rage as
he tore forward, sans pants. "Subaka no jutsu - Super Serious
Shuriken!" From his sleeves, he produced a hail of objects - mostly
deadly origami shurikens, but also including a potty-training seat,
an automobile tire, a fish, a porn magazine (which Private
Renmazuo's mop snathched from the air like some unearthly phantom
hand), and a bicycle.
"Hit the dick!" Captain Soujiro
hollered, realizing only as he dropped to the deck that it was, in
fact, a DECK.
"Avast, me hearties!" From the cargo hold, the
mysterious voice rose again, and this time, a body with
it.
"Kuso...." Onikkuso dropped his shadow spear as he beheld
the form, "It's SPACE PIRATE CAPTAIN HARLOT!"
"That's
HARLOCK!" the pirate shouted out. Immediately, the surrounidng
background appeared to be a lot of horizontal lines sliding by, and
the legendary space pirate produced a set of DVDs, held between his
hands like shuriken. "One hit from a Leiji Matsumoto DVD and you'll
never hurt anyone else again!"
"Captain Niflheim, is that
you!?" Captain Soujiro shouted above the rain of paper throwing
stars at the appearing friend, who commanded the sister ship of the
pirate fleet, the ARCADEia - the first pirate ship equipped with a
full-on game center. "Where the hell were you until now?"
"I
was in the hold taking a shit, but I'm here now!" The action lines
continuing to blaze across the screen blurred as the
properly-dressed pirate captain blazed into the ninja leader, Baka
himself, with a flurry of punches just like he saw Goku do on
Dragonball Z yesterday.
"Attack of the Baptist Brothers!"
Waynu and Duraco shoted, quickly forming ninja-seals in their hands,
"Bible Blaaaaaaze!" Holy swords of energy shaped like crosses
pierced the ground all around the pirate crew, and all seemed lost.
Suddenly, the screen turned pink and bubbly, and only Captain
Soujiro knew what was coming next.
"The magic of love is in
all our hearts, guys!" From the hold, a figure clad in a short pink
skirt and shirt floated up, waving a heart wand. "We can show them
the power of pirates!"
Dammit! Captain Soujiro thought
Captain Nif wasn't taking a shit; he was making out with our sexy
pirate, LuvLuv Luna!
"That's right guys!" LuvLuv Luna
continued "We have in all our hearts....the POWER OF HUMANITY!" She
twirled around and created a huge heart-shaped energy shield in
front of them, reflecting all the cross-energy-sword-thingies
away.
"The symbolism! The symbolism!" cried Waynu and Duraco,
"The power of humanity repelled the bible attack! Is this a
nightmare...or a GAMEARTS GAME!?"
"Supreme Kaiju...Ikuzo!"
Baka summoned his ultimate ninja attack, a portal to another
dimension opening. Out stepped...
"Godzilla! The pride of the
Subaka Clan!" Baka shouted triumphantly.
"It's just the
cafeteria's lunchmeat to me!!" a voice rang out over a grainy
loudspeaker. It was the voice...of impending ***zage. Suddenly, from
beneath the water, a great mecha appeared, glistening in the
sometime-of-the-day sun.
"Power up, Gundam WANGZER!"
Kruuseider shouted with all his burning passion, the power of the
attack growing stronger with each increase in the decibal level of
his voice. The right hand of the giant mech stuck out its middle
finger, which glowed with a powerful light. "Shining Middle Finger!"
Pushing forward, the middle finger reached out and beatdownzed
Godzilla, the explosion sending him back into the portal before he
was even OUT of the portal.
"Now for you guys! You killed my
old war buddy Kyle the Third! It's payback time, you sons of
bi-atches!" He switched from the finger to a giant rail gun, pointed
squarely at the ninja leader, Baka.
"This" he said "Is why
pirates ***z ninjas!"
"
IP: Logged |
|
Bowling
Pin |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 06:35
PM |
|
The 24 Edit Team Av
 Registered: Feb 2001 Location: Harker Heights, TX,
USA
|
CARTOON NETWORK AND ADV FILMS PRESENT
AN EPIC
BY BOWLING PIN
Cartoon Network: God Fighters
151!
Gendo Ikari stood in front of 151 heroes
throughout all of Cartoon Network's many animated features in an
enormous auditorium.
"I have summoned you all, against your
will, to our world; the end of it is at hand, and my son Shinji is
in the process of becoming the -holy mother god.- We must all stop
him, for the world he wishes to fashion sucks." A large uproar
rose.
"WHY THE FUCK SHOULD WE HELP YOU?!" cried an irate
Spike Spiegel.
"Who iz theze SHINJI loo-zer anyway?!"
hollered Dexter, Boy Genius.
"TAZ HUNGRY. TAZ WANT EAT!"
yelled the Tazmanian Devil.
"We must stop Shinji...for he is
a bitch. A sorry, lowlife, pussy of a bitch." Gendo Ikari said with
utmost embarassment. The uproar had died out; everyone was willing
to listen.
"But how can we defeat someone with the power of
God?" asked Frylock.
"Just take a bottle of beer, smash it,
put 'em in a chokehold, and he's through." replied Coach
McGuirk.
"Wait. Allow me to come up with a plan. I am Batman,
all of my plans work." stated Batman. "My computer has information
entries on all of you. I know the best course of
action."
***
"THE WORLD SUCKS, PEOPLE SUCKS, JACKING
OFF FOR TEN MINUTES AND GETTING A THREE SECOND ORGASM SUCKS!!! FUCK
YOU ASUKA, FUCK YOU MISATO, FUCK YOU DAD, AND FUCK YOU WORLD!!!"
anguished Shinji Ikari in the Unit-01, who was outside beginning the
Rapture.
Batman was on a sky scraper's rooftop, directing the
shots. "Goku, Vegeta; go into your maximum Super Saiyan states and
shoot your projectiles at full strength. This will stop the flow of
the power of God. You will be too powerful to continue fighting, so
we will allow Vash the Stampede to effectively use his Angel Arm
shot on him to further weaken the defenses. He-Man, you will call
upon the power of Grayskull and lash out at the Eva-01 with your
sword, from the front. Lionel will do so from behind.
Go!"
The first wave of attacks decimated Eva-01 to the point
where it froze!
"Oh my God, oh my God, this is scary shit!"
spoke Courage the Cowardly Dog.
Batman now addressed phase
two.
"Lupin, you must climb onto the Eva-01 and open the
hatch; you will be carried by Bubbles over here."
"^_^"
expressed Bubbles.
"Your welcome. Now comes the hard part. He
still has the power of God; we must counter this with our own power
of God. Domon Kasshu, this is where you come in. Once you have
released from him the power of God, Spike Spiegel will do the honors
of defeating him, once and for all, assisted by George Jetson."
Batman concluded. "GO!"
"Hee hee hee hee! I'm Lupin, and I'm
a fucking cool cat!" Lupin, a fucking cool cat, totally picked open
the hatch with Bubbles' help.
"This is where I come in!" The
God Gundam rushed into the Eva-01, knocking it down, and picking it
back up, Shinji merely hanging from it in disillusion. "Kid, you bug
me! My hand is compelled by the power of God! It tells me to fuck
you up! GOOOODD FINNNGERRRR!!!" The hand of God appeared from the
skies and bitch slapped the Eva-01, and then ass raped it with His
middle finger.
"Whoa, that's pretty fucking awesome!" said
Bender, cheering from the sidelines.
"So, Mr. Spiegel? I'm
supposed to hold you, and with my hover boots, carry you to the big
robot, right?"
"Jetson, shut the fuck up." Not adheering to
the original plan, Spike punched Jetson in the lip and took his
boots for himself. Spike floated to Shinji Ikari, still uttering
nonsense.
"But the world isn't real! It's all in my head now!
People's hearts are now connected! High school sucks!"
"Shinji, shut the fuck up." Spike shot him in the
head.
"Nice." said Wolverine.
"No problem. You got
some food in this bitch?" wondered Spike.
"I cook some mean
fucking beef & bell peppers." Wolverine heated up his
grill.
"Fuckin' A." responded Spike.
AND EVERYONE
CHEERED!!!
But wait! Shinji Ikari has returned from the
rubble, angrier than ever.
"YOU SUCK! THE WORLD SUCKS!" Using
a psychic shield, he was able to sway all warriors of Cartoon
Network on the streets of Tokyo-3 except for one...Popeye the
Sailor.
"Hyuck-uck-uck-uck! Y'er goin' down kid!" Popeye
rushed forward, but the psychic waves were becoming stronger. "I
might lose this fight! Unless..." Popeye downed a can of Spinach.
"Now I'm stronger than the Nazi Party, Japanese Imperalists, AND the
Fascists combined!!!" Popeye wave dashed, roll canceled, and anti
air assisted his way past the barrier and came face to face with
Shinji.
"YOU SUCK!!!" screamed Shinji. Popeye ignored that,
and gave Shinji an uppercut, another uppercut, and a roundhouse
kick.
"When teens start to whine, I kick their ass just in
time, cuz I'm POPEYE THE SAILOR-MAN! *toot toot!*"
TRUE
VICTOLY!!!
IP: Logged |
|
The
Damned |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 06:42
PM |
|
Hyperion's servant
 Registered: Oct 2002 Location: Where you are
not.
|
King Omake Chapter: Even the Gods Vacation Section
2
Darrke'an (The Nation of
Ease), Rhea Munde woods
SLASH! RIP!
SQUISH!
These sounds repeated over and over as the battle
that King and Amethyst were locked in raged on. Their opponents, a
legion of grotesque gigantic black spiders, bounded and scurried
between the forest floor and trees and their tops, attempting to
ensnare their enemies in various gigantic webs. They were not
succeeding, though, as half the time their leaps ended in their
decapitated and/or eviscerated bodies hitting the ground, courtesy
of King's slicing kicks and Amethyst's slashing sword. However, they
still outnumbered their prey, twenty-five to one. Thusly, this
enraged King even more.
"Do these things ever end?!" King
asked Amethyst, as tried to keep his back to hers as she shot a
Venom Strike upwards, beheading one of the pouncing monsters. Its
corpse crashed down about two yards from her, squirting greenish
blood. "There must be hundreds!"
"Actually, there are only
fifty," Amethyst corrected. "Minus that one and..." his straight
long sword sliced the air, creating two blue disks. One arched up,
slicing through one leaping spider from mouth to abdomen, while the
other arched down, simply decapitating another of the beasts. "Those
two."
"Showoff," King muttered as she flipped backwards from
yet another spider, slicing it into symmetric halves as she executes
a Trap Shot. "That makes forty-six then."
BOOM! A
flash of light, followed by a distinct sizzling sound, comes from
behind her, and King turns around to see seven dead monstrosities in
front of Amethyst. She sees smoking black holes in each of the seven
corpses.
"Thirty-nine," Amethyst uttered coolly as he blew
out his finger.
King didn't bother turning around again, as
she dodged out of the way of the leaping spider, whose jump now
ended on Amethyst's sword, impaling it.
"Thirty-eight,"
Amethyst said, again in a cool fashion as he withdrew his sword from
the fresh corpse's cephalothorax, its eight legs still twitching as
green blood gushed from the wound.
"But I count," King
cockily began, as she shot off a Double Strike, exploding two
creeping beasts behind Amethyst. "Thirty-six.”
"Thanks,"
Amethyst graciously said, though he didn't let on that he had known
of the spiders behind him, or that he had sensed the horde
beforehand.
"No problem. But this is getting boring,"
King sighed as Amethyst and she hopped away from an enormous web
blast. "Won't this end?"
"I thought you wanted to battle,"
Amethyst sardonically chided as they landed. "But I can see your
point. So..." Amethyst words are cut off as he disappears, though
that did not stem the remaining spiders' onslaught.
"Typical
man," King muttered, thinking that she had been abandoned. That's
when she felt it, Amethyst's arm hugging her closely as he surged
with mystical power that she not only could feel, but could
sees. Then she heard his resounding voice, so powerful as to
make her nearly think that it was omnipresent.
"MEGA WINDBLAST!"
King winced as she
closed her eyes due to an extremely brilliant light. She felt her
clothes flapping violently in the wind and restrained a yelp as a
burning sensation nearly overtook her... And then it stopped
suddenly, the wind, the burning, and the glaring light. All of it
stopped, and she felt Amethyst let go, signaling that she could open
her eyes.
She stifled a gasp as she opened her eyes, bearing
witness to an ashen world. The trees, grass, and spiders, all
cremated by some unseen force. She hears Amethyst's footfalls as
they receded away from her.
"Let's go," he called gently. And
she did.
---
I really hope you don't mind, Amethyst.

EDIT: Changed everything to past
tense.
If the good
die young, then I'm effectively immortal.
Hyperion: "Stop the
asteriod, Magneto. Stop the asteriod, or I'll implode your
head."
Hyperion: "Give up this garbage and face the
inevitable, Magneto. You cannot defeat
me." Magneto: "Everyone has an Achilles
heel!" Hyperion: "Only Achilles had an Achilles heel.
I cannot be stopped."
Opposite attract only because
men are sluts and women are whores. Thus the equation balances out.
Last
edited by The Damned on 04-23-2003 at 07:20 PM
IP: Logged |
|
Amethyst |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 07:08
PM |
|
Jellomancer
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
|
No
problem, I didn't have much of anything planned for this round.
^^
Nothing up my
sleeve... Presto! *jiggle*
IP: Logged |
|
Baka
|
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 07:19
PM |
|
Heaven or Hell?
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
|
In which I
combine ninja owning pirates with Ky and Sol's walk in the
forest.
"Sol,
I rather think these creatures are more powerful than they formerly
appeared!" Ky shouted, fending off hordes of green-skinned,
red-hatted imps with the sister-blades. "Quit whining and slash 'em
all, choir boy!" Sol shouted back, planting his fist into the face
of one of 'em.
-----
"Arr, me hearties, and other such
piratical phrases. You be helpless before our pirate skillz. Fear as
the WANGZER destroys you! Uh, Arrr!" Cap'n Soujiro grinned, showing
both his teeth, as the mecha smashed into the giant lizard. Baka
turned to his subordinate, Exu, and whispered something. "Uh, Exu,
why do we have Godzilla? I'm sure I ordered it spelt the Japanese
way cause it's cooler."
"Yeah, but they were all out of
Gojiras. They had a mecha-gojira, but I figured we wanted to steer
clear of the robot thing, cause then it all gets messy, with cowboys
and monkeys and samurai and stuff."
"Hey, we HAVE
monkeys."
"Oh yeah."
"Oh YEAH! UNLEASHU ZA
MONKEEZ!"
-----
"Hey Kiske, you finished over there
yet? I'm all done..."
-----
There's nothing quite like
a horde of ninja monkeys to tip the balance again, and as Godzilla
and the WANGZER clashed in the skies above - how is Godzilla flying?
- the ninja rushed the pirate forces, figh - no really, I can
understand the robot having boosters or something, but shouldn't
Godzilla sink not float? - the ninja rushed the pirate for - I mean,
he's a bloody great lizard! Well, she if you believe the US movie,
but I don't hold much by that - THE NINJA RUSH THE PIRA - it was,
quite frankly, a disgrace. Awful movie, saved only by a couple of
good guest stars - WILL YOU SHUT UP? I'M TRYING TO BEAT THE PIRATES
DOWN WITH NINJA HERE?
Anyway. The monkeys take out some
pirates, and Baka-sensei squares off with the Cap'n. We now return
you to your regularly scheduled skimped Sol/Ky
post.
-----
"'bout time, kid. Shall we go? I'm trying
to enjoy my walk in the forest." Sol walked off into the trees,
leaving Ky to look around at the horde of forest imps. Dead forest
imps. Sighing, Ky broke into a jog to keep up.
Their path was
mostly clear for a few miles - the forest creatures had obviously
seen the Hadoken and scarpered. Ky walked along in a thoughtful
silence, musing on the irony of the situation, while Sol whistled
some song or other, probably by that Queen band he always liked so
much. The sounds of the forest were quieter here - wait, too quiet?
Ky recognised that lack of sound from before, and readied his grip
on the swords at his belt, just in case. The forest grew darker and
darker, and by now there was no sound but Sol's incessant whistling.
Ky fought down the urge to ssh him - it wouldn't have done any good.
Better to just ignore him for now - this wasn't the place or time
for settlement.
Without warning, the forest opened out to a
shore. The water here was clear, and the sight visible in it was
astounding - a sunken city, ancient architecture perfectly
preserved. No time for that, though - a sudden absense of sound
behind him warned him in time to spin round, blades drawn. Sol
flicked a cigarette end into the water and turned slowly. "Aw hell,
guys. Elves? Come ON."
Baka // Black
Angel // Salva Nos
"I'm not good- looking enough to be
party leader." - Robin Cook
IP: Logged |
|
The
Damned |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 07:24
PM |
|
Hyperion's servant
 Registered: Oct 2002 Location: Where you are
not.
|
quote:
Originally posted by Amethyst No problem, I didn't
have much of anything planned for this round. ^^
Yes! The master mage is mine!
*does
needless Evil Kula Dance as exhibited below*
Attachment: needlessevilkuladance.gif This has been
downloaded 28 time(s).
If the good
die young, then I'm effectively immortal.
Hyperion: "Stop the
asteriod, Magneto. Stop the asteriod, or I'll implode your
head."
Hyperion: "Give up this garbage and face the
inevitable, Magneto. You cannot defeat
me." Magneto: "Everyone has an Achilles
heel!" Hyperion: "Only Achilles had an Achilles heel.
I cannot be stopped."
Opposite attract only because
men are sluts and women are whores. Thus the equation balances out.
IP: Logged |
|
Bowling
Pin |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 07:29
PM |
|
The 24 Edit Team Av
 Registered: Feb 2001 Location: Harker Heights, TX,
USA
|
quote:
Originally posted by The Damned
Yes! The
master mage is mine!
*does needless Evil Kula Dance as
exhibited below*
The fuck?!
IP: Logged |
|
m121akuma |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 07:32
PM |
|
t3h 3v1l av: Part 2
 Registered: Apr 2001 Location: Southfield, MI.
Bitches.
|
Bowling Pin....WHAT THE FUCK?!?
Finally, that bitch gets what he deserves. It's
not fair that he gets to be straddled by a clone of his (hot) mother
and giving the screw job to the rest of humanity. It's not fuckin'
FAIR!
Southfield
Board of Education: Prepared to be Schooled
quote:
Originally posted by Starhammer SRK.com is the new
evercrack. All we need is some Idiot to kill someone and blame
SRK.com for it, and its status will be
irreversible.
-Starhammer-
---Team Southfield
Website---
IP: Logged |
|
The
Damned |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 07:34
PM |
|
Hyperion's servant
 Registered: Oct 2002 Location: Where you are
not.
|
quote:
Originally posted by Bowling Pin The fuck?!
Says the guy who just had God finger a
robot.
If the good
die young, then I'm effectively immortal.
Hyperion: "Stop the
asteriod, Magneto. Stop the asteriod, or I'll implode your
head."
Hyperion: "Give up this garbage and face the
inevitable, Magneto. You cannot defeat
me." Magneto: "Everyone has an Achilles
heel!" Hyperion: "Only Achilles had an Achilles heel.
I cannot be stopped."
Opposite attract only because
men are sluts and women are whores. Thus the equation balances out.
IP: Logged |
|
Exeter |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 07:55
PM |
|
Rock You
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
|
~You
know what? I really don't feel like searching for a good title right
now. So there~ AKA, Random Omake of Power (Sol and Ky's quest
continues) Sol Badguy--Intermission...I guess.
"Okay, I
got the giants. I even got the little gnome guys."
"Forest
Imps!" a tiny voice squeaked from nowhere.
"Yeah, yeah,
whatever. But now...elves? For chrissakes. Don't you guys have a fat
old man in red to build toys for or something?"
"What on
earth are you talking about, Sol?" Ky muttered, too confused to be
annoyed.
Bah, the good old days are dead.
Sol
shook his head, and the small group of el--
--small as in few
in numbers. Not as they were vertically challenged or
anything.
Yeah.
Anyway, as Sol looked down at the tops
of the elves' heads, they brandished their weapons and began
chittering eerily.
"These guys are worse than the
goblins."
"FOREST I--"
"For crying out loud, I got it;
would you shut up already?"
Sighing, Sol couldn't help but
grin as a small, blue-haired elf in brown stumbled forward and
looked up at him, holding a tiny dagger.
"Your GP or
y---aargh!?"
Watching their leader soar through the sky, the
elves considering attempting to recruit the man into the National
Elfland Football league as kicker, and began to discuss amongst
themselves the possibility in their chittery, creepy little
way.
Sharing a slightly freaked-out glance with Kiske, Sol
started to turn, but a second elf grabbed him by the ankle before he
could escape.
"Psst...mister. You're about to get
***ed."
The hell's a pone?
"Legolas! Get
'im!"
A tall, bishounen type elf stepped out from behind a
tree, an arrow nocked to the string of his longbow. He seemed to
enter in slow motion, his long blonde haired swaying magnificently
in the breeze a--
"Stun Edge!"
Staring at the smoking
corpse before them, the elves began chittering once more. Sol took
the opportunity to back away as quickly as possible, and Ky did
likewise.
"Nice job back there, Kiske."
Before the
blonde swordsman had time to reply, however, they
reached--
~~THE SACRED SHRINE OF MYSTIC
COOLNESS(tm)~~
"Weren't we on a shore?" Sol muttered as he
studied the torchlit room they'd somehow stumbled
into.
"Don't ask me," Ky replied, a trifle uncertainly. "Sol,
what's that?"
Before them stood a tall statue of a red-haired
man wearing similar colored armor holding a massive sword, his
idiotic--ahem, that is, confident--grin masking the assuredly fierce
and cunning warrior who must have won countless
battles--
"Where's that voice coming from?"
"Check out
the altar."
Atop the altar at the statue's feet lay a glowing
object of some length. Leaning down for a better look, Sol raised an
eyebrow.
"It's a chain," he muttered, picking it
up.
The bounty hunter studied the glimmering object for a
moment, then tossed it aside. "Worthless."
The chain bounced
off the altar, clattering to the ground for a moment. Then,
snake-like, it slithered its way over to Ky and leapt at
him.
Crying out, the boy attempted to block the animated
object's assault, but it was not Kiske the chain was
after.
With a soft 'click', the chain fastened either end to
the hilts of the Fireseal and Thunderseal and--
Sol
sweatdropped.
"Swordchucks, yo!"
Last
edited by Exeter on 04-23-2003 at 08:03 PM
IP: Logged |
|
Ryudo
|
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 07:56
PM |
|
ph33r :O~
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: New Jersey~
|
Omake
Post I - When all else fails, form a band.
Ryudo walked along
the sandy beaches of Darkke'an. The sun was shining so bright that
he had to cover his eyes with his left forearm. He still wanted to
know how he got here, anyway. One moment, he was at the gates of
Liligue City, ready to finally see the love of his life after three
bloody years of fighting what was literally a one-man war, and the
next thing he knew, he was on a pleasant sunny beach with many
beautiful bikini-clad girls.
"Just my good luck that I end up
here, wherever 'here' is" Ryudo thought to himself, and he continued
to walk along the beach. Suddenly, he heard a "HEADS UP!" and less
than a second later, something had hit him in the head with so much
force, it knocked him down to the sand.
"Ow..." Ryudo said to
himself. He slowly stood up and ran his right hand through his
spikey hair. He felt a small bump at the point of impact in the back
of his head. He looked down at the ground and saw a volleyball lying
there, then he looked up and saw a teenager in a bathing suit with
brown hair and a long scar on his forehead run towards him.
"This is probably the retard who hit me with that
volleyball," Ryudo thought to himself. The teenager stared at him
for a few seconds, and then opened his mouth.
"I said
'HEADS UP!' Not my fault you got hit with it, kid!" the teenager
said rather rudely.
"Oh great, a smartass," Ryudo thought to
himself. He was going to have fun with him.
"Look here,
deadeye," Ryudo said in an annoyed tone and pointed to the nearest
volleyball net which was a good 30 feet away, "Looks like your
volleyball net is over yonder. You had to have INCREDIBLE aim and
atheletic skill to manage to spike that ball all the way to li'l ol'
me."
The teen replied "Whatever." Suddenly, a girl's voice
from that volleyball net called over from the volleyball
net.
"Squall! What's taking so long?" the girl asked.
Squall shouted back "Just settling something with this
kid!"
"Kid?" Ryudo asked, "You look like you've barely hit
puberty, deadeye. Oh and your naming being 'Squall' is pretty
fitting, considering how much wind you blow."
"Tell it to the
wall," Squall replied cooly, as he walked back towards the
volleyball net.
"'Whatever.'"
"..."
Squall
stopped right there and looked at Ryudo.
"Did you just say
'whatever?'" Squall asked him.
"Why yes I did. You certainly
got your wits about you," Ryudo replied sarcastically. To his
surprise, Squall actually laughed.
“Know what?” he asked
Ryudo. “You reminded me a lot of me when you said ‘whatever’ like
that.”
“I know,” Ryudo said condescendingly, “I was imitating
you. Wink wink.” Again, Squall laughed.
“You’re actually a
funny guy,“ Squall complimented. Then, seemingly out of nowhere,
Squall asked Ryudo the most random of questions.
“Ever play
an instrument before?”
“Well, that was certainly
spontaneous,” Ryudo thought to himself. He reached into his duffel
bag and pulled out a guitar case that had the Insignia of Granas on
it. He knelt down to open it. As he did, Ryudo looked up to
Squall.
“I can play this rather well,” Ryudo said to him as
he pulled out one of the most beautiful guitars ever seen. It was a
gold-plated Gibson Les Paul guitar, with six glittering silver
strings. The neck was made out of the finest mahogany and its
fingerboard out of ebony. In the bottom-right corner of the body,
the Insignia of Granas appeared again. This wasn’t any ordinary
guitar. This was the Legendary –AX OF GRANAS-! The divine guitar
didn’t even need an amp to totally ***z any other electric guitar
out there!
“Dude! ***zage Guitar!” was all Squall could say
as he gasped in awe of the instrument in front of him. Some time
later, he explained why he asked Ryudo that question
”Anyway,
the reason I ask is that I wrote what I think is a good song, but I
need a guitarist, bassist, and drummer to back me up in vocals,”
Squall said.
“Eh, fair enough,” replied Ryudo, “We’ll need to
find a drummer and bassist then.”
“I know where we can
look,” said Squall, “TO ZAKGAR!”
There are 10
types of people in this world: those who know Binary and those who
don't.
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Bowling
Pin |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 07:56
PM |
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The 24 Edit Team Av
 Registered: Feb 2001 Location: Harker Heights, TX,
USA
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quote:
Originally posted by m121akuma Bowling Pin....WHAT
THE FUCK?!?
Finally, that bitch gets what he deserves. It's
not fair that he gets to be straddled by a clone of his (hot)
mother and giving the screw job to the rest of humanity. It's not
fuckin' FAIR!
Yeah.
You know, Plank owns that bitch
too. CN will be hardpressed to find someone on their rosters who
sucks harder than Shinji Ikari, besides the cast of Pilot Candidate,
or Quess Paraya from Char's Counterattack.
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Bowling
Pin |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 08:08
PM |
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The 24 Edit Team Av
 Registered: Feb 2001 Location: Harker Heights, TX,
USA
|
quote:
Originally posted by The Damned
Says the guy
who just had God finger a robot.
Well, that shit happens all the time.
But Sho gettin' it down like an animated gif? Oh, DAMN!
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m121akuma |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 08:09
PM |
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t3h 3v1l av: Part 2
 Registered: Apr 2001 Location: Southfield, MI.
Bitches.
|
quote:
Originally posted by Bowling Pin
Yeah.
You know, Plank owns that bitch
too. CN will be hardpressed to find someone on their rosters who
sucks harder than Shinji Ikari, besides the cast of Pilot
Candidate, or Quess Paraya from Char's Counterattack.
Or Amuro in his MS Gundam days.
Southfield
Board of Education: Prepared to be Schooled
quote:
Originally posted by Starhammer SRK.com is the new
evercrack. All we need is some Idiot to kill someone and blame
SRK.com for it, and its status will be
irreversible.
-Starhammer-
---Team Southfield
Website---
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Bowling
Pin |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 08:17
PM |
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The 24 Edit Team Av
 Registered: Feb 2001 Location: Harker Heights, TX,
USA
|
quote:
Originally posted by m121akuma
Or Amuro in
his MS Gundam days.
Well, that too...
But MSG Amuro would at
least win a street fight against Shinji. Amuro'd do the donkey punch
rush down on Shinji, and he'd just take each hit and cry. Amuro
would be crying too, because of all his pent up mental pain. But at
the end, Amuro would be declared the king of the streets and
will be taken to his throne by the streets' top gangsters, as lord
allmighty of the school of hard knocks. Shinji'd be left to rot.
Oh, back on Cartoon Network; Daffy Duck would punk Shinji's
ass out, and you know how hard it is for Daffy to punk someone out
with top tier Bugs always on his ass.
Tom? If Shinji was
Jerry, Tom would've torn up that mother fucker in between his teeth
a long time ago.
Peter Griffith off of Family Guy? Would've
ass raped Shinji.
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Soujiro
Seta |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 08:25
PM |
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The Silver Ogre
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: Beyond Death
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Interlude - Dancing Your Way Into Their
Pants
"My middle finger is speaking to me!" Kruusader
shouted, the middle finger of his Gundam beginning to glow. "It
tells me...to ***z j00 all!" Hurtling forward, he activated his most
diabolical attack. The Shining Middle Finger poked into Godzilla's
stomach, even as the Gundam passed through the heated fires of the
reptilian monster's magma breath. From its large backpack,
refrigerators dropped to the deck below, hitting the ninja monkeys
with their food-filled might.
Down below on the deck, Captain
Soujiro and Subaka Inheritor Baka crossed their swords, a dark blade
clashing against a glowing energy broadsword.
"Give up....you
dork..." Baka grunted, whipping a sheet of printer paper across
Soujiro's hand.
"Uggggh!" Soujiro's hand bled from the vile
papercut, but still he held on, as ninja vs. pirate battle raged on
around them.
Suddenly, from high in the crow's nest, a horn
could be heard blowing.
"It's the Horny Horn!" Private
Renmazuo's face brightened as he swatted a ninja monkey into the sea
with one of his mops. "It looks as though Miss Cheeeze has not
forgotten us in our hour of need!"
Just as he spoke, from
high above, a shadowy form sailed down. With her first kick, she
decimated a cardboard box, revealing a ninja huddling under it. Upon
seeing this, TeeTee shouted to the huddling boy.
"Exu, is
that you?" The older ninja had a look of disdain on his face. "So,
you've been HIDING all this time?"
"No, no, I'm the cardboard
box ninja!" he fumbled for the correct phrasing. "I was waiting
until just the right moment--" He was cut off as the 'Hungry Pirate'
Carly Cheeeze spun him around like a bad WWF wrestling match,
sending him flying into the mast.
"Raaaahr! Raaaaahr!" Carly
pawed the ground with her hand and lept like the savage lion. "I
haven't eaten any junk food for...almost an HOUR now! Hunger
Strike!" Her leap ended as she sunk her big, anime teeth into the
tasty leg of the ninja Sulippu.
"Aaaah, pirates! Get 'em off,
get 'em off!" Sulippu cried as he ran around with the young
teen girl securely fastened to his leg.
"Tashteh jusht
rike chicken!" Carly muttered as she grabbed onto the whole leg with
glee. LuvLuv Luna, the other sexy girl of the pirate squad, had
another idea.
"Tee-hee...over here, guys!~" she winked at the
ninja, who saw the magical girl wearing a skirt...only a skirt.
However, the attack didn't have the intended effect. Immediately,
some of the ninja...and ALL of the pirates were distracted. But
flying between them was a brown blur...a four-foot-tall girl dressed
like a...hamster?
"Nyo nyo nyo! Maiji steal stuff -nyo!" The
little girl ripped off the ninjas' expensive watches, credit cards,
and even their...dojo keys! The situation looked grim, but the
Subaka leader had a final trump card to play.
"It's time for
our ultimate ninja attack!" Baka shouted. At his command, all the
ninjas gathered into a big gay circle, like when people sing
Kum-ba-yah. Except they weren't singing.
"From the pits of
manga fandom, we call out Suwichu-shisho!" In the middle of the
circle, a ninja clad even more dark than the others. He flipped to
the front, poised and assured.
"Thanks guys," he nodded "It
was getting pretty stuffy in Baka's sleeve." They gave him an odd,
odd look, but he continued. "It's time for the ultimate attack, that
will leave them unable to counter us!" They began to incant,
together.
"Come, from the realm of holy zen, Suwichu's Ninja
Yuri Harem!" Immediately, behind them, a harem of beautiful ninja
women, kissing each other, materialized as if out of thin air. The
pirates struggled against their desire to look at those lovely
visual sirens, singing out their songs of free love and ninja
seduction techniques.
"Can't...hang on...much longer..."
Captain Soujiro gritted his teeth, turning to the Captain
Harlock-clad Captain Niflheim. "We need...PIRATE POWER!" Nif looked
back, his eyes gelatinously wavering and his pasted-on scar starting
to peel off.
"Then let's do it!" All the pirates rallied
around them, focusing their power. Theirs was not a magical
incantation, but just a really, really loud shout. "Depravity,
shallowness, and lust! Come ooooon baby! Whoring cute dancing pirate
chicks!" A line of cute pirate girls in short shorts and bikini tops
and bandanas linked arms behind them, forming a chorus
line.
In that extreme moment, the powers of ninja and pirate
peaked, and behind their swords, Soujiro and Baka's gazes
softened.
"You know...I never wanted it to come to this,
Baka." Captain Soujiro's face quivered, full of emotion. "Why, I
can't believe a feud that started when we was just mates in third
grade on the playground, arguing 'Pirates!' 'Ninjas!' would escalate
into a grisly war!"
"You're right," Baka said, as the two
released their grips on their weapons. "What fools we've been! Oh, I
should have realized it long ago, that we could help each other
instead!"
"The powers of pirates and ninjas combined?" Krizak
got up off the deck of the ship, where he'd been pretending to be
unconscious for the last ten minutes. "Finally, the peaceful world
I've always dreamed of!" He tried to hug the two, but they both
pushed him back down onto the deck again.
"Y'know what?"
Oniksu busted into the conversation, "I've got some good sake in
this jug, right here, just waitin' to be drunked!"
"And I as
well!" Sulippu grimaced, "If somebody will get this girl off my
leg!"
"Here, here, I've got me a whole kegger of rum down in
the hold!" Nif laughed, mostly at the thoughts of the naughty things
he was doing in the hold earlier that day.
"I'll bring the
mugs...and cups," Kellios sighed, running down to the galley to see
if she had anything suitable to hold sake.
In that surreal
moment, pirate and ninja linked arms, the enmity between both their
kinds squelched, at least for that day. Lines of ninja girls and
pirate ho's kicked their legs up behind the group. They broke into a
glorious song, their hands raised up to grasp the light of the
future, much like a song from a 70's anime.
Ninjas and
pirates, the fighting, the riots, when will it all go
a-waaaaay...?
Ninjas: Killing for paaaay, Pirates: Paying
to get laaaaaid, All: We grasp for a future that's
truuuue!
So raise up your mugs, and take a big
chug, and re-do your room in feng-shui
Love at first
sight, can take place tonight, 'Cause pirates and ninjas are
heeeeeere...
toooooooo-
daaaaaaaay~!
From
somewhere not quite heaven or hell, the previously-mentioned war
buddy Kyle the Third looked down on the linking hands and
celebrating. He had only one thing to say.
"They're just
crazy men, seein' things that ain't there!"
And the ninjas
and pirates, regardless of their jutsu or their trade, were friends
for one night...or at least until the omake round ended. Take your
pick.
---
And that, my good fellows, is the gay
conclusion of this omake story, brought to you by Baka and I. It's
all in good fun...until someone loses an eye. *lifts up pirate eyepatch*
Last
edited by Soujiro Seta on 04-23-2003 at 08:28 PM
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The
Damned |
Posted: 04-23-2003 , 08:26
PM |
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Hyperion's servant
 Registered: Oct 2002 Location: Where you are
not.
|
quote:
Originally posted by Bowling Pin Well, that
shit happens all the time. But Sho gettin' it down like an
animated gif? Oh, DAMN!
I suppose... And it probably only sounds
amusing since the whole neo-Satanist non-Satanic thing I have going.
However, I assure that it would probably warp your mind worse than
Black Mage's Nightmare Poison Nightmare if you knew what I look
like.
quote:
Originally posted by m121akuma Or Amuro in his MS
Gundam days.
Or Superman, Hawkgirl, Green Latern, and
Martian Manhunter of the Justice League.
Or Kurama and Hiei
if you mean physical sucking. (CLICK ME, AND NO, I'M NOT A
YAOI LINK)
On a completely unrelated note, now that
Yu-yu Hakusho has gone, I shall write once more.
If the good
die young, then I'm effectively immortal.
Hyperion: "Stop the
asteriod, Magneto. Stop the asteriod, or I'll implode your
head."
Hyperion: "Give up this garbage and face the
inevitable, Magneto. You cannot defeat
me." Magneto: "Everyone has an Achilles
heel!" Hyperion: "Only Achilles had an Achilles heel.
I cannot be stopped."
Opposite attract only because
men are sluts and women are whores. Thus the equation balances out.
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