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Baka Posted: 04-28-2003 , 05:02 PM

Heaven or Hell?

Registered: Feb 2003
Location:

Then get yo bottom onto IRC, Exicle!


Baka // Black Angel // Salva Nos

"I'm not good- looking enough to be party leader." - Robin Cook

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Psycho Power J Posted: 04-28-2003 , 05:04 PM

Still nothing here to see

Registered: Dec 2001
Location: Wouldn't you like to know

quote:
Originally posted by Soujiro Seta
As it turns out, there's some pretty cool writers at SRK. The Damned, in particular, comes to mind, with his portrayal of King. Now, I was raised on Capcom, so I'm oblivious to all but the most commonly-known SNK game characters (other than in Samurai Spirits and Last Blade, which I often enjoy a bout of), but for the kind of character King seemed (to me) to be, that was a smashing job.

And then there's Bowling Pin...damn, man, that story was the most confusing thing I've seen since...maybe Serial Experiments Lain. I'm still reeling in confusion as to how Kyo's mind lives in the body of the Incredible Hulk. I felt...touched by the presence of Hideo Kojima, or something.

Cheers to the merging, and to the fresh, new faces that bring their own sense of style and stories to tell.

Yeah, Damned/Sho sure surprised me. He showed some real talent. Too bad guys like FistsofFury and Bogardilicious aren't around. I'm sure they would have loved to join in the fun.

Argh! This has been a real revelation to me. I didn't realize that it could be so difficult to think up and write good things within a time limit. Next time, I'll try to do a better job.

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Bowling Pin Posted: 04-28-2003 , 05:11 PM

The 24 Edit Team Av

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Harker Heights, TX, USA

IIRC, this is the next tourney's theme:

Square Enix vs Anime with Video Games or Video Games with Anime.

That makes most of SF eligible again.

quote:
Originally posted by Soujiro Seta
And then there's Bowling Pin...damn, man, that story was the most confusing thing I've seen since...maybe Serial Experiments Lain.


Okay, now I'm gonna kill myself. Lain? How could I?

Actually, I had a dream last night; I was in the next Survivor, and I played as Knuckles (eligible due to the couple of Sonic anime out there). I'm not really fond of him, because whatever coolness he had in Sonic 3 he lost by SA, but I think it foretells something.

I had the idea of using Lain. Wired Lain though, because Wired Lain was a take-no-shit little bitch.


Jack/Tony/Guile = Edit Team 2003

Sonic Writes Fanfics - Updated? The hell?
The Ansatsuken Kid - Episode 13!
Dan and Skullo - A m121 joint. Rarely updated, but still good.
3rd World Pimp - OGs.

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Just Some Guy Posted: 04-28-2003 , 05:39 PM

Superhero Sellout

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: a place where you are not

w00t! Way to go, my XS brother!

Sorry I couldn't be around for the end of the tournament, but yeah, real life DOES come first, as much as I hate to admit it...

Looking forward to you SRK guys joining us in future tournaments, btw. After the bad first impression most of us RIers had a few months back, you guys really do KICK ASS!

I know I never said anything about you guys, but the truth is, you all really didn't appeal to me that much when I first joined, but after staying for a while, any ill-will is now gone, and even though I never made it public, I apologize for my quick judgement (it gets you nowhere in the long run apparently). You're all welcome at RI and wanted in future tourneys.

With the plans me, Switchblade, and (hopefully) TK and Mith, the next tourney should be VERY fun!

Oh, yes... AWARDS!

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Baka Posted: 04-28-2003 , 05:58 PM

Heaven or Hell?

Registered: Feb 2003
Location:

I'd like to point out that the Enix part of that hasn't been decided yet. For the moment, it's still Square vs Anime Games.

Thankyou.

(HURRY UP AND POST THE AWARDS KYO!)


Baka // Black Angel // Salva Nos

"I'm not good- looking enough to be party leader." - Robin Cook

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Bowling Pin Posted: 04-28-2003 , 06:11 PM

The 24 Edit Team Av

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Harker Heights, TX, USA

quote:
Originally posted by Psycho Power J
Yeah, Damned/Sho sure surprised me. He showed some real talent. Too bad guys like FistsofFury and Bogardilicious aren't around. I'm sure they would have loved to join in the fun.

Argh! This has been a real revelation to me. I didn't realize that it could be so difficult to think up and write good things within a time limit. Next time, I'll try to do a better job.



I dunno where Fists/Bogard/millardo were. Maybe they could've pushed Team SRK to maybe the semifinals or something.

Hey. If you all really plan on going to SXI, looks like Pin'll have to go too. ... To oversee message board diplomacy. And next time, we need a larger crew. I don't want to be the only one recruiting (and failing at recruiting) next time.

Random Insanity IRC:
BeyondIRC
#randominsanity

Just in case someone wanted to go there.

Now this is done, I can get on with my life. Ansatsuken Kid can't finish herself.


Jack/Tony/Guile = Edit Team 2003

Sonic Writes Fanfics - Updated? The hell?
The Ansatsuken Kid - Episode 13!
Dan and Skullo - A m121 joint. Rarely updated, but still good.
3rd World Pimp - OGs.

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Magus Posted: 04-28-2003 , 08:47 PM

I'm proud to be green!

Registered: Feb 2003
Location:

I'm late, very late...

Well, it seems that I only have time to participate in one of these during the summer (my summer, your winter. Or something).

Congratulations Dry! It is a pity that I couldn't read all of your work here, but I'm sure you deserved to win!

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Wayne Posted: 04-29-2003 , 05:00 AM

The Night Beckons...

Registered: Feb 2003
Location:

In this entry....

-You get to see the effects of when boredom and creativity, both running rampant in my mind, come to a head.
-Don't let the Host fool you-- I have exclusive access to the real Director's Cuts, and will be revealing them in this post!
-In case the previous points weren't warning enough, this post is filled with irrelevance, a mild dash of OOC-ness, and complete and utter silliness. You have been warned.
-This ended up being a heck of a lot longer than I had originally planned.

---

The scene-- a control room in a nondescript... well, actually; quite descript; it's whitewashed stone on the interior, with a fine mahogany floor, and several rows of tables and desks were some decidedly out-of-place computers, terminals, and TV audio-video equipment are resting-- darn, I put too much in the dashes-- is that.

"What?"

That. What I just said. The scene. The tower in the big cathedral in the big city where the big fight was. With the stone walls and wooden floor and the--

"Oh, that. ...are we on?"

Yes.

"Why are you still speaking psychically? And wasn't... well, you-know-who supposed to narrate?"

...there was... a complication.

Lightning struck. Thunder rolled. A horse brayed, a cat meowed, a baby cried. Wayne's Coke went flat.

"Darn you!"

You're welcome.

"...well, we can at least get this started. ...hey, Tenshi, can you get the lights-- good gosh, man! Can't you wait?"

Wayne drummed his fingers impatiently on his desk as Kain, his friend and, until five seconds ago, AV technician, took the blonde girl's hand and pulled her up from the corner they were... occupying, and left.

"TK?"

"Wha... did I leave another girl in there?"

Slap. Smack. Ki-- ouch.

"Itai...."

"No, my friend, your katana. Forgot it again."

"Oro... OK, thanks, Wayne. Eh heh, sorry about that."

"...don't mention it. Please."

Stupid mortals.

"I didn't ask you."

Mal'Ganis smiled evenly and took a seat across from Wayne, who rolled his... rolling... chair... yeah... behind one of the computers. The young man opened up his voice recorder, swiveled the mic toward his guest, and then leaned back comfortably, stroking his goatee.

...yes?

"It's a microphone. For interviews. You talk into it and the computer records your voice."

Aah... I understand. But aren't you simply going to type what I'm saying anyway? This is a frivolity.

"I'm still your puppeteer, buddy, until Kyo wraps this thing up."

I ever was your faithful servant and accomplice.

"That's more like it. Now... hit that button..." his deep voice trailed off, "...OK, OK, let's forget the mic. I think I have a lapel one...." He rummaged through his desk, carefully emptying the left pull-out drawer of a Wizard magazine, a Desert Eagle, six Bibles, a flashlight, a pocketknife, four different packages of batteries, a Game Boy, and then, finally, at the bottom; since no matter what one is looking for, it's always at the bottom; the clip-on microphone and transceiver.

The Dreadlord telekinetically moved it to him, clipping the mic onto his armor near his throat and giving an experimental hiss.

Wayne recovered about a minute later.

"You have weak ears, mortal."

"...I think it might be a bit too loud."

"You don't say."

"So!" the twenty-year-old began, hands raised over his keyboard, "...tell us a little about yourself, Mal'Ganis."

The demon's eyes glazed over, and he sighed. "I am Mal'Ganis the Desecrater, soon to be the Darkener, after I overthrow that fool... oh, yes. I enjoy poetry and long walks on a moonlit beach. I enjoy taking my lady-friends to their favorite places to shop and eat. I am a good listener, and am also psychic, a demon, and a vampire. In the event that a woman still resists my charms, I am skilled in eighty different forms of--"

"OK, OK, I think that's enough of that," the human interrupted. "And say... last I wrote, hadn't you hooked up with Jun?"

"Your characters," Mal'Ganis replied dryly, "Tend to have little luck with 'hosts.' Or does the name 'Issabelle' ring a bell? Whatever did happen to her, anyway?"

"'The vile Dreadlord fell to his knees. 'I'm so sorry, Jun. My heart beats only for you! I was wrong, I was wrong, and now I wish only to repent! Please, my love, help me to realize the true desires of my heart! The power of humanity is stronger than any I had'--"

"Enough!" the demon roared, beginning to shake with terror. "You've made your point! I'll behave."

"So," Wayne began, smiling smugly, "...you were paired up with Jun. What happened? Did she or Kyo e-mail you or something?"

"No, no, nothing like that at all. I was simply seeking to broaden my horizons. Mortal females have the unfortunate tendency to, well, die, and I would like my future mate to survive to see my seventeenth thousandth birthday in about two Human centuries."

"Well, that's understandable." the human said, nodding; as he leaned back again. "So who's on your mind?"

"I'm uncertain. Most women, you are aware, that I would find attractive, tend to be claimed by someone who has the Power of Divine Authorship, that is; are so written that they are unbeatable. ...that being said, I've arranged a date with Millenia next year, and Altima and I are going for a ride on the Soul Train."

"Ride, eh?" Wayne asked, smiling conspiratorially. "Is it that kind of ride-- nudge nudge, wink wink?"

"I believe that that is up to [/i]him[/i]," Mal'Ganis said flatly, pointing vaguely to the door that Tenshi had minutes ago walked out of. "However, since I am sending Millenia to meet him first to, well, persuade him to help me, I am reasonably assured of my chances."

The human laughed a little at that. "I see. One last question, then; for now... how do you feel about battle.net?"

The Dreadlord suddenly clenched his fist. "My first official act as new Overlord of the Burning Legion... will be to wipe every 'l4m0r' off the face of the worlds! ...oh, and nerf Spellbreakers. And I don't like the Death Knight being so important to the Scourge, either."

The young man nodded. "Heh, I see. OK... well, now I think we'll take our first intermission, and play our first SX Director's Cut for you now. And--"

---

The scene is Nantos, during the Prologue. The first fight against Kashell is about to begin. Daisetsu has just left to retrieve an artifact, leaving his friends to their certain death at the hands of Drizz-- er, Kashell.

"So, Jun. You're saying an awesome ninja like you who can do all kinds of cool stuff written later on got knocked out in one hit by Daisetsu?"

The ninja reddened. "Look, it's a proven fact that phoenixes beat turtles. Even getting Genbu promoted to 'dragon' still didn't cut it."

Ian went back to sharpening his halberd. "Either that, or maybe you're just used to being on your back-- ah!" he cried as Jun snapped a kick to his jaw with such force that the older man went flying, furrowing through the ground Dragonball-style. "D---it!" he cursed, getting back up. "That's no way to treat someone who won't be showing back up in the entire d--- tournament!"

"Speak for yourself," Rohan grumbled, taking a swig from one of Dorrin's stage-backup sake gourds. "You at least have something you're famous for, like that ridiculously heavy axe. I'm a mage. We're a dime a dozen. Nobody remembers me."

"Aww... that's not true," Jun said, smiling. "You really stand out, too. Your part in the script is great!"

The mage frowned. "And you're saying that because you're the only woman in the hosts' lineup besides Anko, who's paired up with the Token Evil Priest. So you're good looking, always mentioned, nobody forgets you, get sponsors fighting over you...." he sighed and took another drink.

There was suddenly a flash of white light, and Kashell, twin scimitars flashing, appeared in a blinding flash. Kashell flashed a toothy smile at them, light flashing off his teeth.

"Wow! So flashy!" Jun cried, anime-style sparkles dotting her eyes. "He's so cool! And like, both holy and evil, at the same time! And he's got that tricked-by-the-Dark-Side-but-good-deep-down vibe, and is the only NPC to fight with two cool weapons, which are the same as Drizzt, mind you, who's also..." she went on, in a voice best described as a squeal.

"This, ah, isn't exactly what I had in mind," Kashell began, as Jun then began waxing eloquent about how he was bishounen as well, and, as with any otaku; that consisted of a process involving multiple seizures, sweatdrops, speech so rapid as to make any auctioneer jealous, and swooning every time said target of affection did anything remotely 'cool'-- which, for Kashell, being written better than nearly other NPC, was nearly every couple of seconds; and poor Jun was
gone.

"Well... that's not good." Ian said, shouldering his halberd.

The holy man blinked. "Um... aren't you going to fight me?"

"No~" came a dreamy voice. "I could never~~~"

"Nah," said Rohan, shaking his head. "You're too cool. But we do know someone who will beat you!"

"Oh?" replied Kashell, eagerly twirling his incredibly-flashy scimitars; and Jun fainted again. "Who would that be?"

As one, both men yelled, "Daisetsu! There's another NPC! We're dead meat, man! Stop looking for that Plot Dev-- er, artifact, and come bail us out!"


"As you can see, your people are now mine. I will now turn this city, household by household, until the flame of Life has been snuffed out... forever." - Mal'Ganis

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Wayne Posted: 04-29-2003 , 05:04 AM

The Night Beckons...

Registered: Feb 2003
Location:

"I don't remember it happening that way," commented Wayne, eyes starting to cross.

"Why don't you call Jun in here?" asked Mal'Ganis, voice even. "Perhaps she could explain herself? That seemed... quite... out-of-character, as it were." Given who really wrote that 'Cut,' though, I'm not surprised--

"'Mal'Ganis' once again found himself on his knees, professing his undying lo--'"

"Grah! Can't you think of another means of torture and blackmail, mortal?!"

Wayne grinned. "'Jun walks in to the room in reply to Wayne's summons. She's wearing a functionally-useless but very fanservice-ish ninja outfit, in fact, a lot like Mai Shiranui's. She waltzes over to Mal'Ganis, and sits on his lap. The demon then--"

The door flew open.

Jun walked into the room in reply to Wayne's earlier summons. She was wearing a functionally-useless, but very revealing; ninja outfight, in fact a lot like Mai Shiranui's. She sashayed over to Mal'Ganis and sat on his lap, kissing him on the cheek casually. The demon then--

By all the Legions of Hell.

"Xenophilia's a crime in thirty star systems and about two hundred animes or TV shows," Wayne commented, but neither heard him.

And understandably. Mal'Ganis found that having no lips was no obstacle to holding a really long kiss; and not having to breathe was a good aid. Jun, meanwhile; was running her hands over the Dreadlord's heavily muscled arms and chest.

"Y'know... why don't we show another 'Director's Cut,' and then get back to the..." Mal'Ganis's chair fell over as he and Jun both rolled onto the floor," ...interview. ...get a room, you two! Or at least another dimension! Gah!"

---

The scene is now at a crowded room. It's a talent exhibition of sorts; Jun and Daisetsu are sitting together behind a pair of tables, stacks of applications, letters, and videotapes around them. There's already quite a line of rejected and still-waiting hopefuls.

"Next!" Daisetsu bellowed, and a man dressed in religious-style robes and armor stepped up. The smell of alchohol lingered around him, but it wasn't exceptionally overpowering.

"Name?" the swordsman demanded, and the man nodded.

"Dorrin. I'm a Priest." His voice was somewhat low, but not quite the baritone of Daisetsu; and it hid his inebriation well.

"A drunken priest?" Jun asked quizzically. "Drunken
monk, maybe; but that doesn't seem like your religion."

"Religion's overrated in a Survivor story anyway, though," Dorrin replied, laughing, and the entire room of hundreds joined in.

"So... what can you do?"

The cleric pondered this for a minute. "...well... I can hold my liquor really well. And I'm not picky, although I haven't really taken to sake much, yet. I can use auras, too, although they're mostly to keep from getting drunk when I'm wagering at the pub--"

"Dorrin," Daisetsu asked roughly, "...do your powers go beyond getting plastered?"

He seemed taken aback. "Not... getting... drunk? I don't know. I've never tried fighting sober. I
guess my magic could work then. Haven't tried it."

"...."

"...."

"Oh, oh, yeah, there are a few other things I can do."

"Yeah?" the swordsman asked, ears perking up.

"See this mace?"

"Yeah."

"When I swing it really hard and hit someone in the head, I can knock them out. Then I can say a prayer over them... and you know you need someone to handle shriving and proper burials and all that."

Jun and Daisetsu looked at each other, than back at Dorrin, then back again. "Oh... Kay... well... we'll keep you in mind. Next?"

The cleric walked off dejectedly, although not before adding that he could use both Simple Weapons and all types of Armor, but not Shields; and had very high Fortitude and Will saves, as one would except from his lifetime of tolerance to potentially harmful things, like excessive drinking and being a member of a corrupt church.

This time a taller An'ven, carrying a bow; and in fact strongly resembling the mythical Robin Hood, walked up.

"Name--" Daisetsu began, but the stranger interrupted.

"Kalten 3:16 says I just shot a lightning arrow up your a--!"

The An'ven leader stared. Jun's pen dropped. Kalten grinned.

"I'm an Archer! I'm large, in charge, I swear like a f---ing Mith character, and I
never shoot the food!"

Once again Daisetsu and Jun looked at each other, mouths agape. Then, in unison, stared at Kalten.

"...what? You don't like my intro, b----?"

Jun's eyes flared. "Oh, that did it. You can talk as bada-- as you want to, but
nobody calls me that!"

The ninja kicked over her table and lunged at Kalten; who dodged; and suddenly the room was filled with the light show of two blindingly-fast NPC leaders fighting tooth-and-nail, if not bow-and-knife. Finally, both stopped, panting heavily; and Daisetsu smiled.

"You're hired. Even if you have to chalk it up to us needing one loud-and-annoying but still good person on my team."

Kalten grinned. "F---in' A, man!"

"OK..." Daisetsu said, grinning as he left; before he dismissed the other applicants, he turned back to Jun. "Take him and Dorrin backstage and give them their briefing, OK?"


---

"All right..." said Wayne, blinking; even more confused now. "...so... well, at least we can finish the interview. Mal'Ganis? Jun?"

To his amazement, both were sitting-- in different chairs!-- behind the table that the demon had righted up again, and looked completely at ease, as though nothing had happened. In fact, the only betraying feature was Jun's sort-of-dress; the right shoulder hung somewhat more loosely, and her hair was still somewhat messy.

"...got that out of your system?" the human asked dryly, but Mal'Ganis shook his head.

"No, although then, that is probably because you're supervising it, and insist on censoring such trivialities."

"...yeah. So anyway. Jun, thanks for being with us."

She smiled radiantly, and at once Wayne felt his knees go weak. "Oh, it's my pleasure. I should thank you for taking such an interest in me, and now that Mal'Ganis and I have gotten to know each other better... it's one of the best things that could've happened to me."

The human's eyes widened. "Uh... well, if you say so. So Jun. What're your plans now?"

She mimiced Wayne's poor chair posture by leaning back, and tapped a finger to her chin. "Hard to say. I suppose I haven't really decided yet. Although since Mal'Ganis promised not to cause trouble, I think I might help him take out Kil'Jaeden... since I couldn't really help much against the last apocalyptic evil demon."

"What do you think about Testament winning the tournament?"

"Oh... well, I'm still undecided there. I always got along with him fine, but dark, brooding types... they're either so irrestible, or really suspicious. I'm not sure what to make of him yet."

Wayne nodded. "That's understandable. What about Daisetsu, Kalten, and Dorrin? Or the Four-slash-Five-slash-some other indeterminate number?"

She paused. "Well... that's tricky. Dorrin I get along with fine; he doesn't want to get into bed with me, which is an automatic plus. Kalten is a bit different... he's a loose cannon, but pretty nice once you get to know him. Daisetsu's just about impossible to not like... he's just so perfect, you know? Even his little flaws, like getting angry easily; are so minor compared to how cool he is...."

"...." said-- or, rather, not said-- Mal'Ganis and Wayne in unison.

Mal'Ganis raised one finger on his right hand, then two, then a third, then a fourth.

"What are you counting?" Wayne queried, absently taking his sunglasses from his pocket, polishing them, then putting them back.

"One. By far the most powerful character, capable of beating Jun, who's the second-most described, with one hit. Two. Has the best and most well-known 'avatar,' and is the first to use it, that is; saving the dead woman in San'tar. Three. High-ranking, if not nobility. Leader of his own army, basically. Probably a genius tactician. Four. Uses a sword. The only 'good' NPC with a sword. Owns, as the battle.net lamers say, with it. Has the only clearly defined rivalry. Five. Not only does the Archbishop of Indeterminate Headgear* attempt to destroy all Creation, he also makes it personal... just for Daisetsu."

The young man sighed. "Heh, OK, Daisetsu's great. Yeah. I understand from the Cut you had a little crush on Kashell... is that ri--"

Jun swooned.

"...I suppose so. Mal'Ganis, why don't you make sure she's OK? Playing Director's Cut 3...."



*This is actually not a joke. The Archbishop was never really described aside from "layers of white robes," so I read about him having a veil, miter, hood, and more than likely anything else from a baseball cap to one of those hilarious Chinese warlord headdresses.


"As you can see, your people are now mine. I will now turn this city, household by household, until the flame of Life has been snuffed out... forever." - Mal'Ganis

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Wayne Posted: 04-29-2003 , 05:09 AM

The Night Beckons...

Registered: Feb 2003
Location:

It is now just after the previous scene. Jun has led Kalten and Dorrin backstage, and goes off to the right to change.

"So." said Kalten briskly, and Dorrin nodded. "So you know what this is all about?"

"Not a clue," the cleric replied, taking a sip from a sixth hidden flask on his person. "Just said that the pay wasn't bad, and the benefits are really, really good. Plus it's for a good cause. Hard to turn that down."

"Yeah, I guess." Kalten replied quickly, pacing around the stage. "The poster said we'd get some great powers and a bunch of followers."

Dorrin nodded amiably. "Indeed. All for a good cause, eh?"

"Come to think of it," added Kalten, not really listening, "...they also promised us some power that's like quasi-deity and s---, and the guy in front of me in the line says the women really dig all that, too."

"I wouldn't go that far," said the cleric neutrally, taking another drink.

"OK!" called Jun, stepping out of the changing room. Gone was her ninja garb from before; now, she was wearing a tight t-shirt with a phoenix and "I Love Suzaku" emblazoned on it, and a short skirt... and a pair of pom-poms.

"What." said Kalten so flatly as to be a statement rather than a question.

Dorrin dropped his bottle.

"You're going to need your training to be good Lords for Kyo. That means you really need to learn what you can do with your new powers."

"Powers, eh?" grinned Kalten, rubbing his hands together. "Now that's more like it. What're my powers?"

"Well..." began Jun, "We're thinking about giving you Seiryu, which is like Wind. And Dorrin, you get Byakko, which is a tiger. Defensive and powerful."

The Cleric didn't reply; he was instead staring at the new cheerleader, spiritual mind dwelling on a most carnal plane.

"So then," the ninja said cheerfully, "We should get started. Are you two ready?"

The two men sighed, nodded, and moved into formation beside Jun at her spoken order.

"OK... now! There's a powerful enemy in front of us! What're we going to do?"

"Smash it!" bellowed Dorrin, brandishing his mace.

"Go postal on that motherf----r!" shouted Kalten, drawing an arrow.

"No!" cried Jun, shaking her head. "We... must... call...."

Her voice suddenly dropped low, and both men, surprised; asked, "...who?"

"Gimme a D!"

They stared. "...D?"

"Gimme an A!"

"...A."

"Gimme an I!"

"Aye!" called Dorrin, drowning out a very rude comment from Kalten.

"Gimme an... an... oh, gee, I forgot. But anyway! We... must... call... Daisetsu!"

"Gimme a break!" sneered Kalten, shaking his head. "What can that old relic do that I can't? He's a freakin' swordsman, for Lights' sake. Swords are so cliche. You bring a sword to a f----n' gunfight, or bow-fight, you get your a-- handed to you. Why do you think I'm an Archer now? I used to be a swordsman because that's how you get chicks, but it ain't worth it."

"But Daisetsu... he's so powerful! He can anything! So, gimme a Daisetsu! Daisetsu! If he can't do it... nobody can!"

"I can't f----n' believe this." moaned Kalten, taking a dejected seat on the floor as Jun continued her cheers.

"Wanna drink?" Dorrin offered.

"Strongest one you've got, buddy. And say a prayer for me, cause I wanna beat the leaving hell out of somebody right now."


---

"So..." said Wayne, now sounding somewhat surprised, "...the entire point of you recruiting Dorrin and Kalten was to get a cheerleading squad for Daisetsu?"

Jun nodded, smiling. "That was my idea. Kyo originally wanted to have just Daisetsu and me, with him being an invincible Kenshin-type guy and me the irresistably cute but ultimately useless cheerleader sidekick. But eventually he changed his mind, and a team is what we came up with."

Mal'Ganis ran his fingers up the bare back exposed by Jun's dress; and she shivered. "Which ended up being a good thing, of course. What puzzles me is what Kyo was trying to accomplish by pitting us to fight against each other, but yet each being part of the same team. Most illogical."

"Well, it was a pretty unique idea." Wayne replied, shrugging. "I think he did the right thing; going for something that hadn't really been seen before. Even if the execution didn't go all that well."

"The mortal did have his mind in other places, that is certain," Mal'Ganis added, thinking out loud. "I would imagine that had he kept a tighter rein on things, I doubt I would've been able to win Jun like I did."

"Yeah... like with those really transparent plots and webs of deception, right? Yeah, I mean... just how stupid do you think I am?"

Mal'Ganis looked at Wayne pointedly; and the mortal shrugged. Stupid enough, he said telepathically, [/i]Since it worked.[/i] Wayne chuckled in reply. "You're welcome."

---

"Jun, Green Turtle! Pretty... ninja... cheerleader! Love and peace!"

"Dorrin, White Tiger! Cliched... priest... drunk! We'll get hammered while the sponsors save the day!"

"Kalten, Blue Dragon! Profane... archer... Kalten 3:16 says I got Daisetsu's back, yo!"

"Daisetsu, Red Phoenix! Uber... swordsman... superpower! If I can't do it, only Fate and all the sponsors put together can!"

"And with our powers combined... we sit back and watch while the writers save the day!"

"Yattai!"

"Party!"

"F----n' A!"

"Enough jokes about me already, d---it! It's not Kyo's d--- fault he didn't have the time to flesh out everybody else!"

---

The End


---

...until the Epilogue.

---

(Seriously, no hard feelings to Kyo, or anybody else. I wasn't sure about posting this as it is pretty harsh parody in places, but Draco and I had a huge laugh over it, and once I started writing... man, next thing I know it's two hours later and 23K words long, and it wouldn't be right to him to junk it. So here we are. Apologies in advance.)

No hot ninja girls, Dreadlords, phoenixes, fanboys, katana, anime cliches, NPCs, or humans were hurt in the making of this quasi-parody.

Stay tuned in for Survivor X-2! Coming soon, with even less plot and more gratuitious fanservice!

"It takes everything that was bad with Survivor X, and makes it much, much worse. But then, you'll be too busy looking at the pretty graphics and subtle hints at shoujo-ai to ever notice!"

"Voice acting is still nonexistent in many places, but that's OK. The people that you can't hear you probably didn't want to in the first place."

"Did I say there's lots of fanservice and subtle hints of-- OK, OK, never mind!"


-A Wayne Spurlock Production-

(I'm going to regret this for as long as I live. Which, assuming the principles of karma apply to Survivor more than Christianity does, heh, probably won't be for much longer.)


"As you can see, your people are now mine. I will now turn this city, household by household, until the flame of Life has been snuffed out... forever." - Mal'Ganis

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