Dry31
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Posted:
05-30-2003 ,
05:16 AM
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Judge/Jury/Executioner

Registered: Feb 2003
Location:
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The black clad Gear laughed for a moment, more at himself than anything else; then, his face settled into a more serious expression.
"I have fought for many reasons. In another life long past, I fought to repay a debt of kindness; another time, I fought to fulfill a vision of madness and bring about the end of the human race. And once, I fought to protect someone precious to me. But...things have changed. Or perhaps I am what has changed; I feel that to be the more likely. Now, I am no longer sure; of myself, or of anything else. In fact, that is the reason that I'm asking questions of the other participants in this little excursion. By learning what others held important, I may be able to gain greater understanding...and perhaps decide a course of action for myself."
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Wayne
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Posted:
05-30-2003 ,
10:29 AM
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The Night Beckons...

Registered: Feb 2003
Location:
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Mal'Ganis slowly nodded. "I see."
---
...ha! You thought that was going to be it, didn't you? ;D Sorry. Anyway....
---
Mal'Ganis slowly nodded. "I see. So you have risked for life for different reasons over different times. ...why? Why did you give up your dream? What happened to your debt? Is this woman still 'precious' to you?"
Testament started to reply, but the demon cut him off. "Those were rhetorical questions. No, it has been paid, to your satisfaction; and yes. But as you said you're not sure... but not of yourself. You are unsure of just what to do now. You are afraid your once-mortal life has lost its purpose... now that there is no woman to save; no cause to die for."
The Gear half-smiled. "You do have a point. I'm not sure what... if anything's left for me."
"They will certainly not be a challenge for you."
"That's not what I mean."
The demon shrugged carelessly. "I am not a teacher. I am not your soul. I cannot give you an answer where the question is only known to you. ...nor would I, if I knew."
Testament squinted, eyes adjusting easily enough to the soft glow now emanating from the Dreadlord's right hand. "Why not?"
He didn't at first reply, letting his hand clench, then open. In it he held a spoon-- gleaming silver, of unmatched quality. He handed it to the brooding man. "Break it."
Testament shrugged and closed his thumb and index finger, pressing against the thin metal handle--
"No. Anyone can break it with force. You will do so without touching it."
The Gear raised his eyebrows, shrugged, and glared at it. His eyes seemed to blaze; focusing on the fragile tool--
"You can't will yourself to shatter it, can you? You're still living in a mortal dream, where all your quasi-divinity has granted you are bigger muscles and a knack for wisecracks. And that is why you will never find meaning in what you are now. You are not ready for it."
Testament effortlessly crumpled it in his hand, casting it down. "So what are you saying?"
"I say that you will need time. Time to decide what you are and what you plan to do. ...I wish I could live to see it. You would do a much better job than the quartet of Elders who granted it to you." The demon glanced away, baring, for a moment; his fangs.
"Why fight him if you know he's going to kill you, Mal'Ganis?"
The Dreadlord's piercing gaze met Testament's eyes; and to his surprise found a small measure of compassion in them. "Because I have no other choice. Did you put away your scythe when Dizzy needed you--"
"How did you--"
"I know. And you did not, did you? Because you believed in something more valuable than your own transient existence." Mal'Ganis waved his clawed hand. "I do not hold any such delusions. Enough demonic power from a determined enough source and that will be the end of me. But I will not live out my time running from the Legion. I cannot hide... so I will kill the fool for wishing my death. And perhaps I shall rule...."
It was Testament's turn to verbally cut through his opponent's armor. "And what about Jun?"
The Dreadlord paused. "...I have not yet decided. Perhaps after I visit those fascinating caves... Testament? A question."
He nodded. "Yes?"
"Hm... you might just survive it... yes...." Mal'Ganis's voice rose back from its whisper as he looked Testament over. "...yes. Would you be interesting in helping me kill the Elder Demon of the Twisting Nether? I already have one ally prepared, but there is always room for another...."
[font=times new roman]"As you can see, your people are now mine. I will now turn this city, household by household, until the flame of Life has been snuffed out... forever." - Mal'Ganis[/font]
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Renmazuo
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Posted:
06-01-2003 ,
01:39 AM
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Cute Widdle Cleric Girl

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Graveyard of Airships
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Time is really being cruel to me these days, so I may not be able to put up my Alma epilogue posts for a while, but rest assured I will finish it sometime, and give out my personal kudos in the Awards thread. ^^ And I'm very flattered over all the praise I got. Thanks.
Til then, te amo! XD
"Virtus in cordibus tranquillibus floret. Iustitia est mecum. Per animam meam, cave. Cave."
-- Sponsoring [b]Alma Beoulve[/b], Survivor X.
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ShinkuuR
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Posted:
06-02-2003 ,
01:17 AM
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New College Grad! Whoo!

Registered: May 2001
Location: Savannah Ga
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I would've started this alot sooner, but...shit happens.
Rydia's Epilogue: Part 1 of 3.
The pain.
It was the only thing that he knew for certain was true. The thing that stood out like a beacon of light among all of the unknown possibilities that the future could bring. The one thing, above all others, that confirmed that he still existed in the universe.
That is what Ryo felt as he layed on the hard cold floor of the ruins of the Illusion, his body completely broken and his mind teetering on the edge of consciousness as the pain surged through his body. He wore it like a second skin, as it felt as though his bones were covered in spikes that unforgivenly pierced his muscles and arteries, and his blood was replaced with nalpalm and cyanide that was quickly destroying him from the inside like a virus. The strange thing was that Ryo was proud of it.
How many battles like this has he been in throughout the years? How many times were he and his friends faced with impending doom due to a maniacal madman or a tyrannical god? How many times, like now, was his body completely engrossed in anguish?
They were too many to count. Too many close calls. Too many instances where one movement, one second, or one thought was all that made the difference between life and death. But Ryo wasn't thinking about those past battles, or even the pain that he felt.
"I'm still here."
He had survived. No matter how his body felt after the battle was over, he wore it like a badge of honor as he, his friends, and fellow warriors looked upon the emission of ki energy that would leave their adversaries as their mystic bodies broke down and dissipate into nothingness. And after the light show, he and the others would slowly pick themselves up and stand in a circle, talking about the good old days where people actually participated in KOF to test their skill against others and NOT to stop an Orochi or NESTS threat. And when he looked to his left there was King as always, punching him in his side and telling him that she could still kick his butt anyday as her vanilla perfume and her smile always seemed to lower his defense against the attack.
But this time was different. There wasn't any flashing lights or Joe Higashi's jokes about Sie's bad luck with Athena, or the light scent of vanilla whiffing through his nose. There was just a voice.
"Ryo? Are you okay?"
The warrior slowly opened his eyes to see a disturbed Jan trying to pull him up rather unsuccessfully.
"Y..Yeah. Where's King?"
Jan's looked at Ryo with a start and then slowly lowered his head. He had thought that Ryo knew where his sister had gone and could get her back, but his comment put that theory to rest.
"I don't understand..." Ryo tried to think of something, anything that could bring the pair back, and as he looked around the room his lingering eyes rested on Sho.
He was standing up.
"Jan, you got...to get out..." Ryo stopped his warning as he noticed that Sho's energy was gone, leaving a extremely broken and damaged boy in it's place. He looked like he was on the edge on death as he took all the strength he had to pick himself from the floor, and the blood from his mouth and injuries spilled onto the floor and his feet as he inched toward the pair.
"Claire..."
"Are you Steve?" Ryo asked, mostly positive that this was the boy that Chris spoke of. He took up a defense posture though, just in case.
"He's gone...but I still feel him...in another..."
"Rydia..."
Steve finally lost the energy in his body and slumped towards the floor in unconsciousness. Ryo rushed towards him and managed to catch him in time before they both fell from the strain, but then his mind went blank at the thought of Rydia becoming like Sho.
And as the pain in his body suddenly became unbearable, he collapsed.
SRK's Intern Psycologist. Appointments are now open for scheduling...
Last edited by ShinkuuR on 06-03-2003 at 10:52 PM
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CarlyCheeese
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Posted:
06-03-2003 ,
10:14 PM
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Scarlet Rain Silence

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Feudal Japan
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Aaaaagh~
This summer. This summer I'll be able to work on my epilogue. XD;
*flies off on an umbrella*
[i]a lonely soul ____________________ moonlit skies
speaker of silence ________________ candlelit town
footsteps in the night _____________ eyes cast in gloom
utter reliance ____________________ a saddened frown
sweet serenity __________________ shielded by innocence
waits to be broken _______________ hidden by beauty
its mouth aghast ________________ the demon sleeps within
a demon hath spoken ____________ destroying naievte
~ hisame shizumaru, survivor x - oboeru mo ~[/i]
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Curley W
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Posted:
06-07-2003 ,
03:12 AM
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Basic Lurker
Registered: Feb 2003
Location:
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Curley beat Xenosaga! w00t!
"Hey, Yuffie?" Jason started, trying to get the ninja out of her sudden mood. "I think I'll take you up on that offer for the Carbon Bangle."
"Huh? Oh right." Was all Yuffie stated as she began fishing through her bag. Jason produced two Reverse Dolls from his PERC. "What's with the second one? Cheap attempts like this to cheer me up aren't appreciated!"
"Okay, but-"
"Though they are accepted." She added, pulling out the Carbon bangle. Jason just rolled his eyes and finished his sentence.
"Okay, but one of these is for something else." An annoyed looked on Yuffie's face appeared. This however, was an improvement over her previously gloomy disposition. "I have one more trade I'd like to make."
"What for?"
"Not much, just one Ether and one Potion. My world doesn't have much in the way of magic or healing potions, so I'd like to bring at least one of each back home."
"Okay, but just one doll for each of them? Come on, do you know how much potions cost? 500 gil! It's hard to get that kind of money!"
"OI! Who do you honestly think you're fooling?!" Yuffie ignored the non-believing stares coming from Jason and even Alma, who knew such items didn't cost so much. "Alright, I'm out of the Dolls, but I think I got something to trade for a potion." Sticking his hand in the PERC, Jason pulled out a small berry, and held it out with the Reverse Dolls.
"You're giving me a little berry for my potion? And I'M the thief here?!"
"This is an Aquaberry." The alchemist explained. "It's about as potent as a potion, maybe a little moreso. And it's cures you of poison."
"That's neat and all,, but I can SELL this potion back home for money if I had to! What store would buy some mystery berry from me, huh? These aren't really common in my world."
"Okay, but just think. If you can farm these things and grow your own aquaberries, you can start your own business! There's a lot more money to be made with this then a potion. If you play your cards right, that is."
"Hmmm..."
-----
"Are you done eating yet?"
"Huh? Oh, Right. Yeah, I am." Vader stated, his form that of the Neanderdog.
"Alright, I'm gonna head out." Jason proclaimed to the others. "Thank's for the stuff Yuffie."
"No problem. Bye Jason!" The young shinobi shouted, Mint and Alma stating their goodbyes soon after.
"Bye you three!" Jason shouted back as he walked off. After a few minutes of wandering, Jason asked his canine friend a question. "Any clue who we should look for first?"
"Maybe some Elemental stuff?" Vader suggested. "The professor's already seen Materia before, so you should probably see about new magics. Ky's sword is electric, right?"
"That's right, I can get the Yellow Element from his Fuuraiken... Hey, wait!" Stoppping for a moment from their trek, Jason reached into his bag and pulled out a long thin blade that widened at the hilt. It's silvery metal seemed almost transparent under the light of the sun. "I forgot all about this. It's the Fuusuiken that Ky told me to hold onto back when we fought the ninja in Nantos. It's water based so..."
He eagerly sunk the blade into the ground and put his hands on the hilt. "Anyone around...? Good." Eyeing a warning to Vader, the young man waited till his friend's eye's were shut. "Here we go..."
"That voice sound's familiar." Ky thought. Up to now, he had been resting, enjoying the serenity of the island. Though now the voices had caught his curiousity. Walking in the direction the voices had come, Ky had arrived on the scene just in time... to get caught in the light of the Element drawing.
"Yeargh~~~! Too bright!"
"Huh?" Jason thought as he finished the drawing. "Aw crap. What is this, the fourth time this has happened?"
"He's over here, Jason." Vader called out, holding his paw up in the direction of some large brush. Walking through the plants, Jason found the holy swordsman rubbing his eyes painfully.
"Heh. Well, whadd'ya know. I'd say 'speak of the devil', but he might take that offensively." The fanboy thought, walking over to the stunned Ky. "You okay?"
_______________________________________________
Jason accepts the Carbon Bangle trade, and is offering an Aquaberry and another Reverse Doll for an Ether and a potion. This will also have to be the last trading segment, since I have to finish up my plans with Jason for this tournament.
Jason has also aquired the Blue Element from the Fuusuiken.
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Psycho Power J
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Posted:
06-10-2003 ,
06:06 PM
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Still nothing here to see
Registered: Dec 2001
Location: Wouldn't you like to know
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Bah. Can't think of anything right now. Yuffie will trade in a Potion and Ether for the Aquaberry and Reverse Doll. I'll try to edit this into a story post later.
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Luna
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Posted:
06-19-2003 ,
02:14 AM
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Tetragene

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Energy Nede
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Part one of a loooooooong afterparty sequence....
Where....do I go from here?
Opera rubbed her forehead above her third eye, and forced herself to keep walking. She didn't know where she was going, or why, but she needed to keep moving, doing something. Because she had the feeling that if she stopped, if she sat down, the weight of her jumbled thoughts and feelings would overwhelm her completely. And she didn't want to find out if she had any more tears left in her to cry.
I've thought about it all so much that my brain is starting to ache. Almost as much as my heart does. I can barely think at all anymore....I'm so burnt out on it. I don't have any answers, only the feelings that just won't go away. And I can't begin to figure out what they are, let alone do something about them. It doesn't help me any that I know how little time is left, and how much there is to think about, and the fact that I'm losing the ability to coherently do so just makes me panic more. That just results in me trying to force myself to think, which makes things worse....and brings on yet more panic. It's a horrible cycle....if only I could calm myself down, but....
....no. Not now. Of all the people I could run into, why him, why now? As though I need to feel more confused, more....whatever this is. Oh Tria, help me get through this....please.
Opera swallowed hard, just looking at Vincent. He didn't say anything, just gazed intensely back at her. Silence reigned for a couple minutes, then Opera finally got up the nerve to say something.
"H-hello, Vincent," Opera managed, inwardly cursing the stammer that had somehow managed to find its way into her voice.
Vincent nodded in acknowledgement. "Good evening, Opera."
Good evening....ha. I can't remember the last time I had one of those.
....
....No. Not going there.
"How....how have you been?" Opera asked, trying desperately to ignore everything going on inside her at that moment and keep the conversation light. Keep it away from things she was oh so tired of thinking about.
"Drained... ready to go back...." Vincent paused for a moment. "And yourself?"
"I've been...." Opera swallowed again, and took a deep breath. Steady now, Opera, don't lose composure now, she reminded herself before continuing. "All right...." She hesitated, then laid her energy rifle and bag on the ground and took a step towards him. "You'll be okay? After...." She trailed off, cursing inwardly at herself for bringing it up on her own without any prompting.
Stupid, stupid, STUPID!
Vincent nodded a moment, then paused slightly before replying. "I will be fine...." He paused again. "Have you been....well? No harm from battles or...."
"No, no harm....I'm....well."
Yes, just keeping telling yourself that, and maybe you'll start to believe it. Maybe.
Vincent must have sensed her uncertainty and the fact that she wasn't telling him everything, because he stayed quiet and just watched her, his expression unreadable. Her heart began a rapid plummet into her stomach as she realized that she couldn't run away from this....that she'd better face it now while she had the chance. She took another step towards him to begin doing so.
"Look, about what....that is...." She paused and closed her eyes for a minute, trying to figure out what to say. Then she opened them and looked directly into his. "Please, do me one favor....don't feel so awful about....anything. You're a better person than you give yourself credit for. I mean that."
Blunt, yes. But I don't have time for beating around the bush, now do I?
Vincent didn't say anything at first, just watching her carefully. Then he spoke. "....When you go back, Opera, what do you go back to?"
Something I'm so very unprepared to face. Or should I say someone? Either works, as there's also the final battle to look....forward to. Neither one sounds as appealing as, let's face it, standing here with you. I might as well admit that to myself, if no one else. Because I'm sick of lying to myself.
"I...." Opera took a few breaths, but it didn't help, as she still sounded almost ready to cry when she next spoke. "I go back to a battle for the sake of many worlds....one that could very well kill me."
And someone I've betrayed, and am even now betraying with the way I'm feeling. I don't know which I'm more scared of, to be honest.
Vincent nodded and closed his eyes. "As do I...." He paused, then opened his eyes back up to look at Opera directly. "But what I meant is....what keeps you in battle, not giving up and laying your weapon down?"
Good question. It used to be Ernest, but I don't know anymore. There's so much I don't know anymore....
"I....I guess....because I want to live, keep on living." Well, there's that too, Opera reminded herself as she paused. "I don't know, I've never stopped to really think about it."
That's true in a way....I never stopped to give it any real thought, just assumed. I had more important things to dwell on, after all.
Vincent just nodded, and looked down a moment before looking back up at Opera. Ignoring the way her heart fluttered at his penetrating scarlet gaze, she attempted to shift the conversation's focus from herself to him.
"What....about you? I mean, if you don't mind me asking...."
And he probably does. Oh well.
"....Because I owe it to her....nor is it like I have a choice in the matter." Opera's heart ached at the sorrowful resignation in his voice.
"Her...." Opera's face looked as sad as Vincent's voice sounded. "Vincent, don't....that is....please, don't let it eat you up inside. I'm not going to pretend I know more about life, I just....don't want to see you keep suffering like this."
Blunt again. Well, I don't have the patience nor the time for not saying what I really think or feel, not if I know how I want to phrase it. That is, if I happen to know exactly what it is I'm thinking and feeling.
Vincent was silent for moment, then spoke, though it wasn't what she expected him to say. "....Do you have a loved one, Opera?"
Do I? That's a toughie, Vin. Though you have no idea just how tough.
"I...." Opera's lower lip trembled before she could control it. "I have friends, and family....and....and I don't know anymore."
A very tough question indeed.
Vincent looked Opera directly in the eyes. "If they mean something to you....let them know." He paused. "I do not want you to suffer the same fate as I."
That's the exact opposite of the problem I have!
Opera lowered her head, unable to look at him for the moment. "That's just it....I have let someone know. But....it doesn't seem to be enough. Or perhaps it's too much. Maybe....he was right when he said Ernest was running away from me...."
Vincent raised an eyebrow as Opera glanced up at him. Dropping her gaze back down, she took a deep breath and continued. "Ernest....left without telling me where he was going, or even that he was going. I had to hear it from someone else. I had to ask them....they didn't come to me with the information. And so I ran after him...."
I'm so tired of running....
Vincent's voice was soft as he spoke again. "I am sorry...."
Oh god, don't do that....why do you have to....sound more sincere than Ernest's half-assed apology when I found him on Expel? Why does it have to have such an effect on me? I....no, no....don't want to cry....I hate this....
Opera lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes filled with tears that she was struggling to hold back. "Don't be. It's not your fault. I just....I....I know he cares, but....it just....hurts when he does things like that."
More than I can possibly express....
Vincent just watched Opera for a minute, not doing anything. Then he stepped right up to her, and held out a bit of his cloak to her, to wipe her eyes on, obviously, and spoke. "It is never easy...."
....Damn it. You're not making this any easier....do you have any idea how long it's been since Ernest showed so much concern for my feelings? No, of course you don't....you have no idea what you're doing to me....hell, I'm not even sure myself. I just know that it's something that manages to feel both good and painful at the same time.
Opera just stared at Vincent for several seconds. Then, as though it were something completely natural to do, she stepped forward and embraced him, her whole body trembling with the force of the emotions overwhelming her at that moment. "I....I just don't know what to do anymore....I'm so scared....I almost don't want to go back....I don't want to die, I don't want to face him like this...." Her voice caught in her throat as she trailed off.
Vincent went absolutely rigid for a minute. Then he slowly slid his arms around Opera, returning the embrace. "You will not die if you do not think you will...." He paused for a moment. "At one point or another, we have to face what hurts us most....I ran away from mine, and I regret it. Do not make the same mistake, Opera...."
Running....that's all I've ever done. Away from some things, towards others. Never finding happiness either way. And I....am so tired of it....
A few tears slipped down Opera's face as she finally allowed herself to start crying. "But....but....I just....I'm not sure of anything anymore....what am I going to say? How do I feel? What kind of person am I? If we both survive....then what? What happens next? I have so much to sort out, and I don't even know how much time I have."
Just that it's not enough.
Vincent didn't say anything to that, but slowly brought his hand up to the back of Opera's head, in an attempt to comfort her. Opera trembled slightly at the contact, then continued. "I'm just so confused....and afraid...."
Possibly of my own feelings most of all.
Vincent spoke softly as he slowly stroked the back of her head. "We all have that moment...."
Opera's body relaxed a little, though her breathing was somewhat uneven, much to her chagrin. "I need more time....time to figure out things about me, about what to say....I'm not prepared at all." Vincent just nodded, the movement visible from the corner of her eyes, and took a deep breath as he kept gently stroking Opera's hair.
"These past few days have been....that is....they've given me a lot of things to think about. Things I probably should have thought about before. Problem is....I'm going back before I'm done."
I don't know if I've even begun, really.
"This certainly has been quite the experience...." Vincent replied in the same soft voice.
To put it mildly....
"I....know how weird this'll sound, all things considered....but I'm not likely to forget it."
[i]Go to the light
Kuyashisa mo zenbu kizameru tsuyosa o daite
Ikutsu no yo ake mo koeteku
Watashi to iu arika mitsukeru tame....[/i]
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Luna
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Posted:
06-19-2003 ,
02:21 AM
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Tetragene

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Energy Nede
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Though I probably still won't remember a certain part of it. Opera sighed inwardly at the thought.
Out of the corner of her eyes, Opera saw Vincent close his. "Neither am I."
But most of all....there's no way I could ever forget you. Not now. Question is, do I let you know that?
....
....Oh, what the hell? I'm probably not going to get a second chance, so might as well say it now and be done with it. It's one of the few things I know for sure....
Opera took a deep breath before she spoke, gathering up all the courage she had inside of her right now. "Nor am I likely to forget you...."
There, I said it. Ball's in your court now, Vinny.
Vincent kept his closed as he answered her. "It has been....an experience I will not forget, Opera."
....Silly me to hope, though I'm not sure I should have, that you'd return my sentiments. What a fool I am.
"I'm not ready to go back....I just can't....not now." Opera was ready to cry again, and it showed in her voice.
Vincent said nothing, just stroked her hair again, and brought her in ever so slightly closer to him, trying to soothe her. Opera felt her breathing grow more unsteady, and she prayed he wouldn't notice.
"I....I want....I....I don't know what I want anymore....I just know that I don't want to go back yet...." Don't want to let go of you....
Vincent nodded, and let his hand rest on Opera's hair. "It is best just to take your time...."
Believe me....if I could, I would.
Opera leaned into him a bit, barely realizing what she was doing. "I want to....but I don't know how much time I have....that's what scares me...."
That and how good this feels.
Vincent went stiff again for a moment, before relaxing. "Time is something to be cherished if you think it deserves it...."
Trust me....I know. Perhaps better right now than I ever did before.
"It does," Opera agreed. "I need it....I have so little of it, and so much to think about...."
Vincent's voice was soft when he spoke again. "Then you know you will not waste it...."
Ha. I've already wasted some of it....I've accomplished nothing thus far.
"But what if....what if I end not being able to get what I need out of it?"
Hell, do I even know for sure what it is I truly need right now, besides time?
Vincent was quiet at first as he slowly brought his fingers up to gently massage Opera's hair. "Do not let that happen, then...."
I wish it were as easily done as said.
"I'll try my best, but....I may not have any say in it in the end...." Opera sighed inwardly. Vincent just nodded, still applying gentle pressure to her head. Trying not to think about how her body was reacting to this, she kept talking. "I've never....ever had to deal with anything like this before. Never had to stop and think about what's going through my mind right now....it never even occurred to me that I might have to. How am I, then, supposed to figure out all the answers in so short a time?"
Especially when being in this...position....does little to help me think clearly about it all. Does nothing, actually....at least when we're talking thought process-beneficial things. Other effects, though....
"....I can't. I just can't." Opera started to cry again, her emotions beginning to overwhelm her once more.
Vincent wrapped his arms a little tighter around Opera, further hampering her ability to think clearly about the situation. "Perhaps....it is a chance to see what you really want...."
"But....what if I leave only to find that what I really want is...." Opera's voice trailed off, her eyes widening slightly, and she took a deep breath. "That....that is....I...."
Oh dear god, where did THAT come from?! I....it just slipped out....I wasn't even thinking....just spoke without considering what I was saying....humans have a term for what I just did, but I can't remember it, not at a time like this....oh god, how do I follow that up?
Vincent just looked silently down at her, waiting. Opera stared back at him, willing herself to think of something, anything, to say. Finally she mustered up her nerve and attempted to cover up her near-slip. "What if....what if I really want....is not what I have waiting for me? What if I've been fooling myself all this time, by staying where I don't belong?"
That IS highly likely....and I have been thinking a lot about that....so it's not a bad save at all.
It was a few seconds before Vincent replied. "....Go with what you feel with the pit of your stomach, not what your mind thinks."
At this point, feeling is really all I CAN do. Thinking is a little beyond my capabilities right now. And by a little, I mean far beyond.
"....Mostly I just feel sick," Opera admitted. "And...." She swallowed.
"....Yes?" Vincent looked expectantly down at her.
"And...." Opera's breathing quickened, and she knew that he'd have to notice it now, if he hadn't before. "I....don't know how to say this...."
Or how you'll react....
Vincent said nothing, just looked down at Opera.
....Now or never. I might as well say it....there's no way around it now.
Opera closed her eyes and leaned her head against Vincent. "....I like this. And I enjoyed....well...." She trembled a little. "Just what kind of person am I if I'm feeling these things? For someone other than the one waiting for me?"
For you. And furthermore, what kind of person am I that I....
I....
....want you to feel the same way about me....
-----------------------
No, this isn't the end....only the beginning. Mwaha. >=D Your turn, Kell!
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Kellios
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Posted:
06-22-2003 ,
03:52 AM
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Ex-Turk

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Alone
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Next up!
----
Opera closed her eyes and leaned her head against Vincent. "....I like this. And I enjoyed....well...." She trembled a little. "Just what kind of person am I if I'm feeling these things? For someone other than the one waiting for me?"
I…
….know too true of what you so speak of.
Vincent for the first time in over thirty years could not contain the rapid beat in his chest. Only mere minutes ago, he was on his way back to the Planet, back to finding out what happened to Cloud. To Sephiroth. And then back to finding what he purpose he had being near her caverns and ice.
Now, he found himself in an embrace with a woman who could not contain her own feelings, and seemed to be breaking down to the point of tears. And Vincent wanted to comfort her.
You like her, Valentine.
…Be quiet, Chaos.
No, I will just relax and let the drama unfold itself.
Staying quiet to both Opera and Chaos, Vincent took a deep breath, and gently resumed stroking opera’s hair, trying the best he could to calm the three-eyed woman down and soothe her in any way possible…
…And tried to calm his shaking breath as well.
Vincent could feel Opera struggle for breath against his body, and she struggled to talk, trying not to let her voice fail her, “How am I supposed to face him when I feel this way about someone else, someone I may never see again? Someone I just met?”
Opera began to shiver in Vincent’s hold, and he tried not to pay attention to it, knowing she would not want him to know. Closing his eyes, Vincent remarked carefully, “I do not know...”
But you want to. And so does she.
Her voice staggered, and she didn’t bother hiding the hoarse sound coming from her throat, “I don't know either....I don't even know how I'm going to go back and see him when right now, I don't want to go anywhere at all....” She paused a moment, and tried to take a deep breath, but couldn’t and her breath caught, “And considering how far I chased him, that scares me....”
Before Vincent had time to think about his actions, he drew Opera in closer to his body, wanting to calm her down and steady her breathing. He moved his hand into between her sculpted shoulder blades, feeling them easily against her snug dress, and he gently ran his hand down her back, trying to release pressure from her. He could feel Opera stagger for breath as she tried not to cry, Vincent just gently stroked in the middle of her shoulder blades and the small of her back, and said quietly, “You are someone who has perhaps chased too long without knowing for sure....”
Ah, you are one to speak on that matter.
Do not ruin the moment… I wish to hear nothing.
And deny myself the pleasure of seeing you relaxed for the first time in thirty years?
That is not your motive, and both you and I know that.
Opera turned slightly in his grasped, squinted her eyes, and speak quietly, “You....may be more right than you know,” Vincent heard her breath draw in a faster pace than before, “God, I....”
Vincent thought he heard her give off an involuntary gasp, and she shuddered again in his arms, “My heart is pounding, and my hands are trembling, and I don't want to move, don't want to be anywhere but where I am. Mere days ago, I only wanted to be by his side again, and now....” Opera swallowed hard, the lump in her throat seemed to grow more than vanish, and Vincent’s breathing picked up as well, “I dread facing him as much as I fear the enemy we'll battle when we get back. What's happened to me?”
Vincent began to add pressure to his finger tips that ran up and down her back, and he tried to soothe her as much as possible. He glanced an eye up at the rest of the surrounding area, and noticed no one in the general vicinity of where he and opera stood, but could hear the music and sounds of a party at the same time. All of the volcanoes in the area seemed to surround him, and he liked the feeling.
Feeling Opera seemingly hiccup to breathe properly, Vincent kept stroking at her back, and Opera relaxed slightly.
I feel as though I am having déjŕ vu, Valentine. Care to inform me why I feel so?
…Because I have done this before.
And even the volcanoes look like those mountains…
“I do not know...” Vincent started quietly, keeping his hand even up and down her back, “Maybe you realized something you had not before...”
“And if I have....what do I do with the knowledge? Where do I go from here?” She nearly whimpered, and he shook his head instead of shrugging his shoulders, and shifted slightly on his feet, keeping his hand still on Opera’s back, feeling her tremble slightly where his hand met her dress.
A moment passed, and Vincent gently started again kneading her back, “That is up to you to decide.”
What wonderful words of wisdom. I will make sure to remember such fine terminology.
“Right now I just want to be exactly where I am....no matter how wrong it probably is to want that.” Opera remarked quietly, and Vincent did the best he could not to go completely still, and hoped that she didn’t notice.
Well, you hear that Valentine? It seems as if something good is going to come from this.
…It means nothing.
Do not fool yourself. She cares quite a lot for you.
Vincent nodded his head slowly, and continued massaging Opera’s back, and he could feel her breathing slow down enough to where she could take in a deep breath and not have it stagger.
Look how much she calms down after your touch. I wonder if she realizes what type of person is giving her such thoughts…?
…Everyone needs someone to help them through a time of need…
Ah, but did you not use yours thirty years ago?
“This feels better than it should....I don't want to go anywhere....” Opera admitted quietly to Vincent, a slight flush forming on her cheeks, and Vincent tried hard to have his breathing catch, “But I have to. Eventually. And I'm not ready. They're....he's....going to expect the same Opera that left, but I....I'm not who I used to be. How do I explain any of it?”
By facing the facts, Vectra, and about time you be honest with yourself, and finally realize you have been nothing but a lap dog for ‘dear Ern.’ Literally.
Trying hard not to snarl at Chaos, Vincent tightened up instead but immediately relaxed again, feeling Opera tense up when he did. She lifted her head to look at him, and he stared back, keeping his expression non-readable, and slowly dragged his hand up to her neck, gently squeezing at the base to relieve pressure. Opera’s eyes seemed to relax, and she brought her head down and gently rested her forehead against Vincent’s shoulder, inhaling slowly.
Vincent could feel the knots in Opera’s neck loosen somewhat, and he continued gently, “I do not know...” he started, feeling Opera take a sudden intake of air, “It is your choice to be honest with him or not...”
Or stay here and find a private room with Rin Tin-Tin here.
Chaos…
Growling mentally, Vincent clenched his left arm a moment to release his own pressure, and head Opera give a shuddered breathe in his hold. Looking down at Opera, Vincent could faintly smell her hair, and he brought his hand under the hair on her neck, touching her bare skin and began rubbing again. He felt Opera go still a moment in surprise, her breathing cut off short by his touch.
“And....” Opera began, and Vincent could tell clearly she was having trouble breathing evenly, “It doesn't help that it hurts to feel this way for you, knowing we may never meet again....knowing it's....that you....”
Nearly snagging his own breathing, Vincent nodded slowly, and gently pushed on her neck to bring her head down to his shoulders, and he waited to listen to what she had to say next, trying to cover his own thoughts and not concentrate on where his hands where.
You are holding her rather fondly, Valentine… tell me, does she have the same build as she?
Do not torment with that now, Chaos. Not now…
I am in question as to why your heart is spinning as fast as it did when you first met Lucrecia.
You do not know th-
On the contrary, Valentine, I know exactly.
Opera started to tremble, and much more than she had before, “I....do you even....the way I'm feeling right now....” Her voice was strained as if she was ready to cry, and she squinted her eyes, but not before a tear left her cheek and landed on Vincent’s shoulder.
Her rapid breathing continued as Vincent used his thumb and finger tips to ease out the pressure from Opera’s neck, and he said quietly, “Opera... of anything I could...”
…No. I…
Well?
…Chaos, I have…
Sighing deeply, Vincent lowered his head slightly, and brought his cheek to the left side of Opera’s head, and gently rested his cheek against her hair, closing his eyes and letting out another sigh.
…have…
Opera spoke calmly, and something in Vincent skipped, “Just....just don't....let go. I know it's wrong of me to want this, but I....just want to stay like this.”
Vincent felt Opera’s arms hesitantly slip to his hip, and he squinted his eyes, leaning his cheek a little more into Opera’s hair. His hand slipped back down to her lower back, and Vincent gently pulled Opera in closer to him, and she responded to his will, while he went back to gently running his hand down her back.
She tightened her arms against him for the moment, speaking softly, “I just want to stay here....”
…In a land of volcanoes…?
That looks like a terrain of mountains.
…Which could have very well been volcanoes…
Opera started to tremble heavier than what she had before, and she pressed herself against Vincent to steady herself. He brought up his left arm for the first time, and gently laid it across the back of her shoulder, keeping his ‘fingers’ away from her skin and dress, not wanting to cut her. Making his right hand a little more firm, Vincent stroke Opera’s back, and feeling her tremble drop but her breathing pick up a little faster than what it had been before.
Opera calmed herself enough to let out a long, drawn out sigh, and spoke softly, “I don't want to be anywhere but here....”
---
TO BE CONTINUED
[size=1][color=royalblue][i]As I stand [url=http://www.livejournal.com/users/kellios/]here[/url] today with the world as my witness, I pledge to you my undying and everlasting [url=http://www.cafeshops.com/kellios]love.[/url] I will stand beside you as [url=http://www.ffonline.com]your [/url] partner, I will stand[url=http://www.randominsanity.org/] before[/url] you as your protector, And I will stand behind you as your [url=http://forums.ffonline.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9665]solace[/url]. Please spend and end your [url=http://forum.randominsanity.org/index.php]life[/url] with me.[/i][/color][/size]
Last edited by Kellios on 06-22-2003 at 03:55 AM
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Kellios
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Posted:
06-22-2003 ,
03:58 AM
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Ex-Turk

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Alone
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He continued to rub her back, pressing the fabric of her dress into her skin, “Relax... do not think of that now...”
How could she not think of that as you touch her in that way?
…I only wish to comfort her…
A quite affectionate way of doing so.
Opera sighed slightly, and burrowed her neck into her shoulders, shifting slightly in Vincent’s hold, admitting, “I....can barely think at all, to be honest....”
“Then do not, if it is easiest...”
And easier for you not to speak.
…Words mean nothing at a time like this.
I think she would disagree.
Vincent felt Opera lean against him more, her voice finding a new sense of calm, and the hair on the back of Vincent’s neck rose, “I might have given up trying already....”
She has fallen for you, Valentine. Now here comes the challenging question…
…Chaos…
Do you let her go or do you repeat a mistake?
Nodding, Vincent trickled his right hand down to just above her waist, and started to gently rub across horizontally, from her right side to her left. Opera gave a minute involuntary sigh, and seemed to relax more into Vincent, and he could feel her breathing steady out, but he also felt a slight rapid heartbeat against his chest.
Do you feel that, Valentine? The humming bird rapid beat of her heart? Surely, you remember the first time you felt another’s heart beat that fast against you chest.
…Yes…
Separated only by a lab coat and your shirt, at that.
Not now…
And how you woke up the next morning?
Vincent lowered his hand down to her waist, keeping the same process of massaging her waist, and her whole body seemed to at once relax into his.
“...Are you feeling better?” He asked hesitantly.
I think she could only be better had you two been in a room right now.
“....You could say that....” She remarked softly, and Vincent looked down at her hair, draped gently over the ‘fingers’ of his claw. He carefully picked up a couple strands, not wanting to cut her hair, and let the strands of hair fall over his metal ‘fingers’ carefully and back to her shoulder.
“I feel....good. But....not any more ready to leave.” She tensed up slightly again, pressing her forehead into his chest, “Less, if possible....”
He only nodded, keeping touch between her waist and his hand, feeling her body tremble slightly with his touch. Vincent realized his breath was growing a touch heavier than what it had been before, and he covered it up by inhaling slowly, holding his breath, and letting it out just as gradually.
“I don't want to leave....I don't want to leave....” Her voice gave a hint of strain, and her body began to tense up more despite Vincent’s gently touch, “I don't want to go back to something potentially fatal, feeling this way, and facing the very real possibility of never seeing you again.”
Or knowing that you have betrayed ‘dearest Ern.’
Leave her problems alone…
I do not blame her. The ‘pleasure’ of being a lap dog only goes so far.
Vincent looked back at the ‘fingers’ of his claw, and gently picked up a couple strands of Opera’s hair, tugging at it slightly before releasing, letting her hair drop. He gripped slightly at her back, and kept his right hand still at he right side, and commented calmly, “Do not think of it... just think of now.”
“I just don't want now to become yesterday....”
And feel as if everything you are feeling now is a dream turning nightmare.
“...A time I can only think of....I shouldn't feel this way, I know....but I can't help it.” She finished, her voice strained by the fact she was holding back tears. Vincent pulled Opera in a little closer, and went back to trickling his fingers along her waist, trying to soothe her and relax her to how she was a moment ago.
Neither do I…
“I....I don't know what else to say that I haven't....” Opera gave a small sigh, squinting back tears from all three of her eyes, and Vincent held her for comfort. He returned to massaging the small of her back, and he closed his eyes, letting his body relax more into hers.
“....I don't know how I can possibly leave now....” Opera commented quietly, and Vincent didn’t respond, stroking Opera’s back, and trying to match his breath with hers to calm her.
….I… am not worth staying for…
A fine thought to have, running your hand over her waist like that.
Opera sighed again, and burrowed her head deeper into Vincent’s shoulder, her voice forced, “Oh, why did this....why must I feel so....” She paused, and swallowed hard, gulping for an even thought and intake of air, she barely spoke, “…Vincent…”
“I want you, Vincent. I need you, Vincent. Please, sweep me away off my feet and cause me to scr…”
Shuttup, Chaos!
Restraining himself, Vincent dare not move, and held onto Opera, staying quiet in fear of Chaos speaking instead of himself. Opera’s shoulders began to shake slightly, and another silent cry escaped from her.
“How....how am I supposed to leave knowing that I may never....that we....” She nearly choked, and sniffed, trying to clear her thoughts and failing, “With these feelings that betray the one waiting for me....I....I don't want this to end....”
Vincent could hear the desperation in Opera’s voice, and started to rub the small of her back again, and managed to whisper, “Do not cry…”
Opera’s voice was full of a choking sob, and she tried to hide back her tears, but was failing, “It just hurts so much....my mind is telling me that everything my heart wants is wrong....” She tightened her grip slightly on Vincent’s waist, and leaned more into him, barely speaking, “And I don't know if I still want all the things I used to....and I don't want to hurt anyone....and I don't want to leave what I've only just found....and I know I'll never be the same....”
Something inside Vincent wrenched slightly, and he could not tell if it was the stone in his chest or his stomach. He could still feel the gentle tremble of her, and he carefully grazed his hand up to Opera’s rib, and he felt her catch her breath, “Opera... even if things are not the same when you go back... do not let your faith disappear with your feelings.”
She is obviously not going to be the same when she goes back, knowing that you are touching her the way that you are.
…That is none of your con-
Concern? You have fallen for her, Valentine. You want nothing more but to hold her like this and call her yours. Like she once did.
…No more, Chaos….
Opera held her breath, shuddering under his hand, “I know they won't be the same....because I won't be either. I'm already different....and I can't help but wonder if it only took what happened this week to make me realize it....to bring it out to my attention, and not just to make it happen.”
Vincent tightened his hand around opera’s rib, and her breath caught again, “During the course of a week....”
I have been able to f…
“It sometimes takes a lifetime to realize had a week not happened.”
Opera exhaled slowly, and more tired, remarking quietly, “I think you're right....and I think I needed this....but....why does it have to hurt so much?”
Because I…
Betrayed her.
…No…
What then?
…care.
Vincent brought his right hand up, and made a loose fist, and grazed the knuckle of his index finger just under Opera’s chest, and all of opera’s breathing stopped for the moment his did so. The brush only lasted less than a few seconds before Vincent brought his hand back to her side and was barely speaking, “Because pain is truly what makes us realize things....”
She shivered when he placed his hand back down at her side, and she sighed inaudibly, “I just don't understand why this is happening....why now. Why I feel all the conflicting things I do at this moment....”
Because you have fallen for a man who thought he was not able to care back after the first.
Opera shuddered again, and Vincent brought his hand back up and brushed his knuckle just under Opera’s left breast, staying a moment longer this time, and dragging his knuckle back to Opera’s ribcage, where he carefully placed his palm.
… cares much more than he…
Vincent leaned his head into her neck, carefully breathing out and seeing the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. He finished exhaling, before his lips twitched upwards, barely audible, “Because you find the true person with raw emotion...”
He could feel her breathing growing heavier, and she trembled slightly against his touch, “Vincent....”
I am surprised, Valentine.
Ignoring Chaos, Vincent pressed his thumb into her rib, causing her to hitch her breath, and he nuzzled his head slightly into her neck, his cheek grazing her warm skin. He found his breathing heavier, and he whispered hoarsely, “I..... I cannot thank you enough....”
For letting me repent…
Very surprised.
…not calling me a…
Vincent watched Opera struggling to breath, and she closed her eyes, now relaxed instead of trying to hold back tears, “I....I didn't do anything....I....why are you thanking me?”
…Because I know that she would want me to…
Or perhaps you need a lot more than what you think.
Vincent lifted his hand from Opera’s rib, and made the loose fist again, and gently rubbed up towards the middle of her stomach, using his knuckle once more, feeling the fabric between his knuckle and her skin. He stopped once he felt her first rib, and he could feel her nearly gasping for air. Vincent leaned more into her neck, and muffled from her dress, “You have relieved me a.... a memory I can now..... Repent for what I have done...”
Because I love her enough to let her be in peace…
“Oh, Vincent....” She sounded as if she was going to start crying again, but she swallowed before she lost her composure, “I'm glad....it makes me happy to hear that....that I could help you....that's worth all the pain, and confusion, and fear....”
But that is not what you truly want, Vectra. You want to be in her place, and know that you are number one in choosing who to bed with. Knowing that you do not have to regret ‘dearest Ern.’
…Stop it.
----
TO BE CONTINUED
[size=1][color=royalblue][i]As I stand [url=http://www.livejournal.com/users/kellios/]here[/url] today with the world as my witness, I pledge to you my undying and everlasting [url=http://www.cafeshops.com/kellios]love.[/url] I will stand beside you as [url=http://www.ffonline.com]your [/url] partner, I will stand[url=http://www.randominsanity.org/] before[/url] you as your protector, And I will stand behind you as your [url=http://forums.ffonline.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9665]solace[/url]. Please spend and end your [url=http://forum.randominsanity.org/index.php]life[/url] with me.[/i][/color][/size]
Last edited by Kellios on 06-22-2003 at 04:01 AM
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Kellios
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Posted:
06-22-2003 ,
04:04 AM
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Ex-Turk

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Alone
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Hoping she would not feel him give a slight tremble, Vincent opened the palm of his hand, and seemed to completely cover the area of her stomach, and she drew in a breath, holding it, and let it out slowly.
“I....still don't remember anything from the other day....I....” She started, and Vincent felt with his hand that she was having quite the difficultly breathing.
But what you first feared most is what you want now.
“I know....that I felt something that day, though....and it won't go away. But I'm going to have to....and I don't want to....the back of my mind is screaming at me that I'm not supposed to feel this way, that I shouldn't be saying all this, but I can't hold back....”
She finished, and looked up at Vincent, her lips parted in the struggle for breath, and Vincent felt his own breathing start to stagger.
Vincent pressed in gently at her stomach with his thumb, and she gave a sudden release of air, and looked at him. Vincent closed his eye lids enough to just leave a little open to see her, and he barely was able to whisper, “…Yes…?”
She wants ever fiber of your being, Valentine. And you want hers.
----
Holy shit, that's long O_o;;;
Your turn, Luna.
[size=1][color=royalblue][i]As I stand [url=http://www.livejournal.com/users/kellios/]here[/url] today with the world as my witness, I pledge to you my undying and everlasting [url=http://www.cafeshops.com/kellios]love.[/url] I will stand beside you as [url=http://www.ffonline.com]your [/url] partner, I will stand[url=http://www.randominsanity.org/] before[/url] you as your protector, And I will stand behind you as your [url=http://forums.ffonline.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9665]solace[/url]. Please spend and end your [url=http://forum.randominsanity.org/index.php]life[/url] with me.[/i][/color][/size]
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Luna
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Posted:
06-22-2003 ,
09:23 PM
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Tetragene

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Energy Nede
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Opera turned her head to look at Vincent, all three of her eyes beginning to fill with tears. "Vincent....I....I want...." She trailed off, her voice beginning to crack with emotion.
Vincent just looked Opera in the eyes, keeping his hand right where it was as he waited for her to finish.
Now or never....only this one chance....just say it and be done with it. Lay the cards on the table.
Opera closed her eyes, trembling and barely breathing. "....this. You. Whatever we had that day. I shouldn't, but I do...."
So much so that it hurts....bitter and sweet all at once.
"I don't know what's happened to me," she continued, keeping her eyes closed. "What exactly I'm feeling, or why....I just know that I....feel something for you. I don't know what. We still barely know each other. But I can't stop myself from feeling whatever this is. I can't make it go away any more than I could prevent myself from coming here in the first place."
And now that I'm here with you, I'm not sure I want to make them go away....I wanted to before, but not anymore. Part of me wonders how I could have wanted that at all.
"I have no idea what you're thinking, what you're feeling....but I couldn't leave you without telling you what I'm feeling." Opera opened her eyes at last, revealing that they were still filled with tears, and now uncertainty. "There....I said it."
Now it's up to you....what do you say to me? What do you do? Do you break what's left of my heart....or fill the cracks in it?
But instead of saying anything, Vincent merely brought up his hand to wipe the tears from Opera's cheek, not losing eye contact with her as he did so. Opera closed her eyes again, leaning her face into his hand. "If....if I've said too much, or anything wrong, I'm sorry...." Another tear slid down her cheek. "This just feels like my last chance to say anything to you...."
Much as I want....no....need it to be otherwise....
Vincent wiped away the tear, and stared into her eyes, his hand remaining on her face. "No crying....I...." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I do not wish to see you upset if I can help it...."
Oh, why must you be so kind to me? You have no idea how long it's been since I was treated like this....so long since anyone showed genuine concern for my feelings....so long that to finally receive such consideration again hurts as much it helps.
Opera swallowed hard. "Vincent, I....I don't want to....I'm sorry...."
"Don't be sorry...." Vincent's voice was a gentle whisper as he moved his hand from her face and back down to her waist. Opera's breath hitched, both from that and from the emotions churning inside her.
Why did I ever resist this? Did I honestly think I'd be better off running back to someone who hasn't shown this much tender concern for me in ages? Perhaps ever, now that I begin to really think about it? Why'd I....think this wrong at all? I....somehow things seem to be making even less sense now.
"And even as I think about this....on another level it seems strange to be berating myself for finding comfort in someone else, someone other than the one who....ran away from me." Opera's voice was choked now as she struggled to hold yet more tears back. "He ran away from me....and if....when....I get back home to Tetragenes, my parents are going to be so furious with me. They've always tried to mold me into someone I'm not, and never will be. The perfect daughter, perfect heiress....that's not who I am. And he ran...." She blinked furiously, trying desperately to keep the tears back. "Isn't who I am good enough for anyone? Do I have to be someone I'm not to be loved and wanted? I-I just want someone to care about me for who I really am, and not some illusion....is that so much to ask?"
And I want that someone to be you. Not Ernest. Not anymore. I want us to have something real, not just a hazy blur of a day in which we might not have been ourselves. I want you to know the real me....and care for me. Not some shadowy imitation.
Vincent ran his thumb under Opera's eyes to clear her tears away. "No....it is not. The most desirable is to be....cared for, no matter what...." he uttered under his breath.
Yes....and I want you to be the one to feel that for me....
"That's all I want....all I've ever wanted....it always hurt so much to be sent the message that I could only have their approval if I behaved exactly as they wanted....that their love was conditional. So when Ernest showed a little interest....I clung to it." Opera closed her eyes. "Too hard, it would seem...."
But I'm letting go now.
She felt Vincent's hand drop from her face to her waist again, and sensed that he was watching her. "I'm tired of being the dog to chase after his thrown stick....faithful and loyal beyond any shred of intelligence. I'm tired of running. Of trying to get close, only to be pushed away. Run away from...."
The pursuit ends here. At least, the one for Ernest does....
Vincent rubbed gently at Opera's hip, and her breath caught in her throat. "If it pleases you....break from the leash...."
I'd tell you what would truly please me, but I'm not sure how you'd react to that. I don't want to send you running too....not now.
"I need to....I need to be free to be myself....and be loved in return for it. I don't want to have to pretend or deny any part of myself. I'm sick of forcing myself to try and live up to their expectations, even when I really don't want to and know I'll fail...."
Please don't tell me to keep trying, or that that attitude is why I'll fail....because I used to think that I could get it "right" if I just kept trying....but nothing ever worked. Nothing ever will work. I need to get that into my head at long last. Sometimes you just have to give up when you're not getting anywhere.
Vincent didn't say anything, just gently caressed up to Opera's ribs, and she felt him nod slightly.
....You can't possibly know what you're doing to me. There's just no way. And if you do....then that opens up two possibilities. One that I would dearly love to be true, and the other....too painful to give thought to.
Opera swallowed and shivered involuntarily. "Everything seems to be spinning and falling down around me....everything I know and feel...."
And that doesn't even begin to sum it up....
"If....you can be the one left standing by the end...." Vincent paused, and she opened her eyes to see him close his and bow his head. "Then....you have to believe that you were left standing even if all else collapsed...."
I don't want to stand alone, though....I'm slowly realizing that I want to stand beside you....you and no one else.
Sighing, Opera rested her head against Vincent. "Do you know what also frightens me? The possibility of this all turning out to be a dream. And not remembering it when I wake up."
I forgot one whole day already....I don't want to forget the rest of my time with you, or what I'm feeling right now, or the decisions I've been starting to make.
Vincent's hand moved to right below Opera's chest, and he whispered hoarsely, "No, it is not a dream...."
....
....Dear sweet Tria. That feels far too good to be a product of my subconcious. No, definitely not a dream....
"It better not be....it feels too real to want to let go of...."
Or to be more accurate, to want to BE let go of.
"It is not a dream, I assure you." Vincent's voice was barely audible.
No, no, it's not. Would that all my dreams felt like this, though....maybe I'd sleep better at night.
Opera's grip on Vincent tightened a little. "If it were....I wouldn't want to wake up."
As someone in a favorite story of mine said....I'd choose to sleep forever, if it'd mean I'd never stop dreaming. Though I doubt this is what she had in mind, heh.
Vincent just nodded, and began gently stroking her side.
"I don't want to forget this....but I don't want it to just be a memory either....I don't want to go back to where I'm not really needed...."
I don't want you to stop what you're doing....
"I don't even know if such a place exists....a place where I'm needed." Opera barely restrained a sigh as she said it.
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Luna
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Posted:
06-22-2003 ,
09:27 PM
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Tetragene

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Energy Nede
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Please prove me wrong....say it does....say it's right here. Please....
Vincent pulled Opera up against him, and leaned his head into the side of her neck. Keeping his hand on her waist, he took a heavy breath and spoke, though just barely. "Nor do I...."
....Once again I demonstrate how much of a fool I am....damn.
"That isn't true...." Opera sounded unsure of herself.
"If....such a place existed, then I would not be worthy of it...."
So very untrue. You're already there. And you deserve it more than anyone else I've ever met.
"That isn't true either....and...." Opera trailed off, sounding, if possible, even less sure of herself than she had but a moment ago.
Damn....I'm probably saying too much again....as usual.
As though to prove her thoughts correct, Vincent suddenly let go of Opera, and stepped back, searching through her eyes. The color drained from her face as she realized that she had indeed said more than she should have.
"I've....said too much, haven't I?" Looking ill and afraid, she covered her mouth and bowed her head, her whole body shaking. "I....I....I've done it again...."
And now you'll run from me just as he did....I've scared off another one....oh god....am I doomed to spend my life frightening away those I care about? Cursed to fall for older men who don't want to get close to me? Is that to ever be my fate? I....
"No, Opera, it is not you...." Vincent let out a long, drawn-out sigh, and when he next spoke, it was barely a whisper. "Because I would not be worthy of such a place....I....failed h...." His voice trailed away, full of an anguish that wrenched at Opera's heart.
So what? So what? You think I care about that? The past....is there to let us learn from it....it doesn't do any good to just lament it, if we don't try to glean the knowledge that it can impart to us. Not to mention that the past will only repeat itself if you don't learn from it. Vincent....just because you made one mistake....it doesn't mean you have to stop living because of that. Learn from it and move on....you're not accomplishing anything by wallowing in this misery. Except maybe driving yourself slowly insane with the pain and grief....and I can't stand the thought of that.
"Stop saying that!" It was plainly obvious to anyone within earshot that she was crying now, and she hated hearing herself like that, knowing that he could hear it too. "Haven't you suffered enough over one mistake? You're a good person....and good people make mistakes too. You don't deserve to torture yourself like this...."
I don't want to see you like this....
Hearing something, Opera looked up, her face stained with tears, to see Vincent holding out his cloak to her again. She didn't accept it this time either, however, and instead spoke again to him in a strained voice. "Look, Vincent....run away from me if you like. Everyone else does. But at least listen to me before you go."
Just do that much for me....please....
She drew a deep breath and continued. "I care about you. I need you here with me right now, before I have to go back to that place. And if I didn't think you were worthy, I wouldn't feel this way. So please....please....don't keep beating yourself up over something you can't change. It's not going to do you or anyone else any good, ever."
It also hurts to listen to....more than you can probably imagine.
When Vincent spoke again, his voice was strangely hoarse, and she could hear him breathing heavily. "Opera....I am not going to run...." He lifted his hand and gently rested it on the side of Opera's neck.
....You're not? You're....going to stay....oh god....oh god....I....there are no words to describe this feeling....
Trembling visibly, Opera bowed her head again. "You....have no idea how much it means to me to hear that...." she whispered, bringing her hand up to cover his.
No idea at all....
When he didn't move his hand or say anything, Opera pressed on. "I....just want to be somewhere I'm needed....but I don't know where that is....or if it can exist....I don't know where to go...."
Tell me I can stay here....tell me it's right here....tell me that you....
"Opera...." Vincent stepped back up to her and spoke softly. "It exists if you believe it exists....do not give up hope...."
No....I....why....I want it to exist right here....
"I've searched for so long....chased after it....trying to make it exist. I'm so afraid that it never will." Opera's voice was filled with hopelessness.
Say I'm wrong....say I'm wrong....please....tell me I'm wrong....
Vincent raised his hand slightly, placing his thumb on Opera's cheek. "Opera....if it is what you want most, then make it yours."
What I want most right now, Vincent, is you. But it's becoming painfully clear that I can't have you.
Opera sighed. "I....don't think I can do that...."
Because as with Ernest, I can't make you feel something you don't for me. No matter how much I wish otherwise.
Vincent didn't say anything, just slowly brought his hand down to Opera's shoulder.
Opera sighed inwardly, and let her hand drop to her side again. "I'm starting to realize that you can't always have what you want....for all my confidence and bravado, I'm not as strong as I seem. I don't have the strength to get what I want the way I want it....somewhere deep inside is still a frightened little girl desperately wanting the approval she knows she'll never get...."
Wanting a man she can never have....
A quiet moment passed, then Vincent did something she didn't expect. He gently pulled her closer to him, caressing down her back, and his voice was but a whisper as he finally said something to her. "And the raw emotion you feel now...."
"It frightens me. Because it's the most intense I've felt in a very long time," Opera replied quietly.
Perhaps ever....
Vincent just nodded in agreement, running his hand up and down her back again. Opera's voice was even quieter when she spoke again. "And what's particularly bad about it....is that it doesn't have anywhere to go. I have nowhere to channel it to."
I'd like for you to tell me otherwise, but I really doubt you will.
Vincent gently leaned the side of his head into Opera's, his breathing still heavy. "Channel what you need to to me....even if it is back where you are going to, back where....know that I will be listening, no matter where you are...."
....
....well, you obviously don't know what it is exactly that you're telling me to do....
Opera didn't move for a moment, then slowly slid her arms around him. "I....don't want to be anywhere but here...."
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Luna
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Posted:
06-22-2003 ,
09:35 PM
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Tetragene

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Energy Nede
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Here goes nothing....I can hope to get something in return, but there's a slim chance of that....
Vincent slowly dragged his hand up to her rib. "Nor do I...."
....
....maybe I was wrong....? I....oh god, I want to think so, but....
"I...." Opera paused, once again struggling with fresh tears and uncertainty. "I want to be where you are...." Her voice was barely audible.
Rubbing gently with his hand, Vincent lowered his head so that his nose touched near the back of Opera's neck.
Say something, please....prove that I was wrong earlier....
Opera's voice was strained as she continued to talk to him. "Even if you don't want me here, I still want to be here. I....really haven't changed....that much." She sighed deeply.
Am I always to be running after those who don't wish to be caught by me?
To her surprise, Vincent held her closer to him and granted her wish, his voice barely able to be called a whisper. "Opera....if there was anyone I could be wi...." He paused a moment, and brought his left claw to gently rest at her waist. "Where I go, I....would want to have you by my side...."
....oh my god. You did it....you proved me wrong....you did it....you really did it....oh god....I've never been so glad to have been wrong....never before....
Opera went very still in his arms, barely breathing. "Do you....truly mean that?"
Say yes....say yes....please say yes....please.
Vincent just nodded, slowly breathing in from his nose on Opera's neck.
....I don't have any words for this....none at all....
Opera instinctively held him tighter, her heart pounding loudly in her ears. "I....can't possibly....express in any words what that means to me....I wouldn't know where to begin."
Vincent remained silent, save for letting his breath out on her neck, his hand gently caressing at her ribs.
....This all feels almost too good to be true....almost....
Opera trembled a bit at his touch before speaking again. "Why....why can't I stay here? Why do we have to leave? I want this....need this....but I can't have it. Why? It doesn't seem fair...."
"Because...." Vincent nuzzled his head slightly into Opera's neck, barely speaking. "Fate has a funny way of acting...."
Thus far it's been a bad actor who needs to be kicked off the stage.
Opera turned her head slightly against his. "I want to control mine....now....where I am. I don't want to be led around anymore, away from....what I want."
Away from you....
"Trying to control it is like playing with fire...." He was clearly trying to keep his breathing even, Opera noticed with a start. Much the way she had earlier.
My....how very, very wrong I truly was, it seems....
Opera leaned into him more. "I'd rather burn than be trapped in ice...."
Rather feel your warmth than try to win Ernest's cold heart....
Vincent's hand caressed her just below her shoulder. "Or covered in ashes...."
Opera's voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't want to be frozen....unable to move, to live....to feel."
To have this....
Abruptly, Vincent brought his head up to look at Opera. Reaching out to take her hand, he placed it over the left side of his chest. Below her palm, she could feel that his heart was beating as rapidly as her own. "....Do you feel anything?" he asked quietly.
Opera slowly nodded. "I do...." she whispered.
So very wrong was I....
"This... stone in my chest has not done this in years....." He paused a moment, watching her. "And I do not want you to....have a stone of your own...."
Not possible....not when it's beating this fast....just by being near you....just not possible.
Opera slowly turned her hand to hold his. "I....can't. Not at this moment, anyway....not like this."
Trust me....there's no way that could happen right now....
"Do not...." His voice was barely a whisper. "....ever let a stone form...."
Can't happen....no way of that.
Opera's hand tightened around his. "I won't....I promise....I can at least give you that...."
And more, if you'll only let me....
Vincent said nothing, just watched her closely. Opera closed her eyes, now breathing as heavily as he had been earlier. "Let me assure you....my heart feels anything but hard right now...."
So, so far from that....
Closing his eyes, Vincent bowed his head slightly and gave Opera's hand a momentary squeeze. Feeling braver, she moved a bit closer to him. "But....you've done something to change it," she whispered. "And I don't mean that in any sort of negative way...."
Vincent opened his eyes at that and gazed silently back at Opera, breathing rather heavily and nodding. Opera swallowed hard. "Thank you....for not running. For staying with me. I don't know how I would've dealt with scaring off someone else...."
"I am trying to not....run away anymore...."
And for that, you have more of my gratitude than you could ever know.
"After everything that's happened to me....in the end, what I truly fear is....fear. In those that I want to stay with me." In you, she added silently. Vincent just nodded, and let his hand drop to her waist, still watching her. Her courage growing, she tentatively slipped her arm around his neck. "I....was so afraid that you'd be frightened of me....the way I feel right now scares even me...."
The intensity alone is enough to frighten me....
Vincent seemed to hold his breath, and when he spoke, she could barely hear him. "Such feelings are....hard to face, sometimes...."
Yes....I think you do have an idea of just how hard....
"I know they're real....whatever it is that they are. And I want....to be wanted for who I really am. I'm tired of trying to hold onto scared rabbits...."
I'd rather hold onto you, and have you hold me in return.
"I think both of us are tired of doing so," Vincent murmured as he pulled Opera slightly closer into him.
A small sigh escaped her lips. "I'm so glad I didn't scare you away...."
Looking down at her, Vincent nodded, and began to caress at her waist again. Opera closed her eyes, and leaned closer to him. "Somehow....everything else feels so far away right now. I wish it would all just stay away...."
I wish I could stay away from everyone but you....
"As do I...."
"There's so little time....I don't want to waste any of it." Opera sighed again.
Vincent pulled his head slightly closer to hers. "Then don't...."
I don't intend to. Not anymore.
"I won't...." Opera's breathing was uneven, and she was trembling again.
Vincent didn't say anything, but just looked directly into her eyes.
What now? What do I say....do?
Opera reached up to touch his face with a trembling hand. "Vincent...." she whispered hoarsely.
"....yes?" he whispered back, his voice every bit as hoarse as hers.
"I....don't have any words....just...." Opera closed her eyes and leaned forward.
What I want to....say....goes beyond that form of expression....
Vincent didn't reply, but just kept holding her, and gently rubbed her lower back.
....Now or never, Opera. Just one chance....now or never....reach out and take what you want....
Opera's voice was still hoarse as she spoke again. "If....I can only have this moment....then I want to make the best of it. I don't want any regrets." Her heart beating painfully fast, she leaned forward....and kissed him.
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