Baka
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Posted: 04-28-2003 , 05:02
PM |
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Heaven or Hell?
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
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Then
get yo bottom onto IRC, Exicle!
Baka // Black
Angel // Salva Nos
"I'm not good- looking enough to be
party leader." - Robin Cook
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Psycho Power
J |
Posted: 04-28-2003 , 05:04
PM |
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Still nothing here to see
Registered: Dec
2001 Location: Wouldn't you like to know
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quote:
Originally posted by Soujiro Seta As it turns out,
there's some pretty cool writers at SRK. The Damned, in
particular, comes to mind, with his portrayal of King. Now, I was
raised on Capcom, so I'm oblivious to all but the most
commonly-known SNK game characters (other than in Samurai Spirits
and Last Blade, which I often enjoy a bout of), but for the kind
of character King seemed (to me) to be, that was a smashing
job.
And then there's Bowling Pin...damn, man, that story
was the most confusing thing I've seen since...maybe Serial
Experiments Lain. I'm still reeling in confusion as to how Kyo's
mind lives in the body of the Incredible Hulk. I felt...touched by
the presence of Hideo Kojima, or something.
Cheers to the merging, and to the fresh, new
faces that bring their own sense of style and stories to tell.
Yeah, Damned/Sho sure surprised me. He showed some real
talent. Too bad guys like FistsofFury and Bogardilicious aren't
around. I'm sure they would have loved to join in the
fun.
Argh! This has been a real revelation to me. I didn't realize
that it could be so difficult to think up and write good things
within a time limit. Next time, I'll try to do a better
job.
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Bowling
Pin |
Posted: 04-28-2003 , 05:11
PM |
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The 24 Edit Team Av
 Registered: Feb 2001 Location: Harker Heights, TX,
USA
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IIRC,
this is the next tourney's theme:
Square Enix vs Anime with
Video Games or Video Games with Anime.
That makes most of SF
eligible again.
quote:
Originally posted by Soujiro Seta And then there's
Bowling Pin...damn, man, that story was the most confusing thing
I've seen since...maybe Serial Experiments Lain.
Okay, now I'm gonna kill myself. Lain? How could I?
Actually, I had a dream last
night; I was in the next Survivor, and I played as Knuckles
(eligible due to the couple of Sonic anime out there). I'm not
really fond of him, because whatever coolness he had in Sonic 3 he
lost by SA, but I think it foretells something.
I had the
idea of using Lain. Wired Lain though, because Wired Lain was a
take-no-shit little bitch.
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Just Some
Guy |
Posted: 04-28-2003 , 05:39
PM |
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Superhero Sellout
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location: a place where you are
not
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w00t!
Way to go, my XS brother!
Sorry I couldn't be around for the
end of the tournament, but yeah, real life DOES come first, as much
as I hate to admit it...
Looking forward to you SRK guys
joining us in future tournaments, btw. After the bad first
impression most of us RIers had a few months back, you guys really
do KICK ASS!
I know I never said anything about you guys, but
the truth is, you all really didn't appeal to me that much when I
first joined, but after staying for a while, any ill-will is now
gone, and even though I never made it public, I apologize for my
quick judgement (it gets you nowhere in the long run apparently).
You're all welcome at RI and wanted in future tourneys.
With
the plans me, Switchblade, and (hopefully) TK and Mith, the next
tourney should be VERY fun!
Oh, yes...
AWARDS!
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Baka
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Posted: 04-28-2003 , 05:58
PM |
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Heaven or Hell?
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
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I'd
like to point out that the Enix part of that hasn't been decided
yet. For the moment, it's still Square vs Anime Games.
Thankyou.
(HURRY UP AND POST THE AWARDS
KYO!)
Baka // Black
Angel // Salva Nos
"I'm not good- looking enough to be
party leader." - Robin Cook
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Bowling
Pin |
Posted: 04-28-2003 , 06:11
PM |
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The 24 Edit Team Av
 Registered: Feb 2001 Location: Harker Heights, TX,
USA
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quote:
Originally posted by Psycho Power J Yeah, Damned/Sho
sure surprised me. He showed some real talent. Too bad guys like
FistsofFury and Bogardilicious aren't around. I'm sure they would
have loved to join in the fun.
Argh! This has been a real revelation to me. I didn't realize
that it could be so difficult to think up and write good things
within a time limit. Next time, I'll try to do a better job.
I dunno where Fists/Bogard/millardo were. Maybe
they could've pushed Team SRK to maybe the semifinals or
something.
Hey. If you all really plan on going to SXI, looks
like Pin'll have to go too. ... To oversee message board diplomacy.
And next time, we need a larger crew. I don't want to be
the only one recruiting (and failing at recruiting) next
time.
Random Insanity
IRC: BeyondIRC #randominsanity
Just in case someone
wanted to go there.
Now this is done, I can get on with my
life. Ansatsuken Kid can't finish herself.
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Magus
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Posted: 04-28-2003 , 08:47
PM |
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I'm proud to be green!
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
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I'm
late, very late...
Well, it seems that I only have time to
participate in one of these during the summer (my summer, your
winter. Or something).
Congratulations Dry! It is a pity that
I couldn't read all of your work here, but I'm sure you deserved to
win!
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Wayne
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Posted: 04-29-2003 , 05:00
AM |
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The Night Beckons...
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
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In this entry....
-You get to
see the effects of when boredom and creativity, both running rampant
in my mind, come to a head. -Don't let the Host fool you-- I have
exclusive access to the real Director's Cuts, and will be
revealing them in this post! -In case the previous points weren't warning enough,
this post is filled with irrelevance, a mild dash of OOC-ness, and
complete and utter silliness. You have been warned. -This
ended up being a heck of a lot longer than I had originally
planned.
---
The scene-- a control room in a
nondescript... well, actually; quite descript; it's whitewashed
stone on the interior, with a fine mahogany floor, and several rows
of tables and desks were some decidedly out-of-place computers,
terminals, and TV audio-video equipment are resting-- darn, I put
too much in the dashes-- is that.
"What?"
That.
What I just said. The scene. The tower in the big cathedral in the
big city where the big fight was. With the stone walls and wooden
floor and the--
"Oh, that. ...are we
on?"
Yes.
"Why are you still speaking
psychically? And wasn't... well, you-know-who supposed to
narrate?"
...there was... a
complication.
Lightning struck. Thunder rolled. A horse
brayed, a cat meowed, a baby cried. Wayne's Coke went
flat.
"Darn you!"
You're
welcome.
"...well, we can at least get this started.
...hey, Tenshi, can you get the lights-- good gosh, man! Can't you
wait?"
Wayne drummed his fingers impatiently on his
desk as Kain, his friend and, until five seconds ago, AV technician,
took the blonde girl's hand and pulled her up from the corner they
were... occupying, and left.
"TK?"
"Wha... did I leave
another girl in there?"
Slap. Smack. Ki--
ouch.
"Itai...."
"No, my friend, your katana.
Forgot it again."
"Oro... OK, thanks, Wayne. Eh heh, sorry
about that."
"...don't mention it. Please."
Stupid
mortals.
"I didn't ask you."
Mal'Ganis
smiled evenly and took a seat across from Wayne, who rolled his...
rolling... chair... yeah... behind one of the computers. The young
man opened up his voice recorder, swiveled the mic toward his guest,
and then leaned back comfortably, stroking his
goatee.
...yes?
"It's a microphone. For
interviews. You talk into it and the computer records your
voice."
Aah... I understand. But aren't you simply going
to type what I'm saying anyway? This is a frivolity.
"I'm
still your puppeteer, buddy, until Kyo wraps this thing
up."
I ever was your faithful servant and
accomplice.
"That's more like it. Now... hit that
button..." his deep voice trailed off, "...OK, OK, let's forget the
mic. I think I have a lapel one...." He rummaged through his desk,
carefully emptying the left pull-out drawer of a Wizard magazine, a
Desert Eagle, six Bibles, a flashlight, a pocketknife, four
different packages of batteries, a Game Boy, and then, finally, at
the bottom; since no matter what one is looking for, it's
always at the bottom; the clip-on microphone and
transceiver.
The Dreadlord telekinetically moved it to him,
clipping the mic onto his armor near his throat and giving an
experimental hiss.
Wayne recovered about a minute
later.
"You have weak ears, mortal."
"...I
think it might be a bit too loud."
"You don't
say."
"So!" the twenty-year-old began, hands raised over his
keyboard, "...tell us a little about yourself,
Mal'Ganis."
The demon's eyes glazed over, and he sighed. "I
am Mal'Ganis the Desecrater, soon to be the Darkener, after I
overthrow that fool... oh, yes. I enjoy poetry and long walks on a
moonlit beach. I enjoy taking my lady-friends to their favorite
places to shop and eat. I am a good listener, and am also psychic, a
demon, and a vampire. In the event that a woman still resists my
charms, I am skilled in eighty different forms of--"
"OK, OK,
I think that's enough of that," the human interrupted. "And
say... last I wrote, hadn't you hooked up with Jun?"
"Your
characters," Mal'Ganis replied dryly, "Tend to have little luck with
'hosts.' Or does the name 'Issabelle' ring a bell? Whatever did
happen to her, anyway?"
"'The vile Dreadlord fell to his
knees. 'I'm so sorry, Jun. My heart beats only for you! I was wrong,
I was wrong, and now I wish only to repent! Please, my love, help me
to realize the true desires of my heart! The power of humanity is
stronger than any I had'--"
"Enough!" the demon roared,
beginning to shake with terror. "You've made your point! I'll
behave."
"So," Wayne began, smiling smugly, "...you were
paired up with Jun. What happened? Did she or Kyo e-mail you or
something?"
"No, no, nothing like that at all. I was simply
seeking to broaden my horizons. Mortal females have the unfortunate
tendency to, well, die, and I would like my future mate to survive
to see my seventeenth thousandth birthday in about two Human
centuries."
"Well, that's understandable." the human said,
nodding; as he leaned back again. "So who's on your
mind?"
"I'm uncertain. Most women, you are aware, that I
would find attractive, tend to be claimed by someone who has the
Power of Divine Authorship, that is; are so written that they are
unbeatable. ...that being said, I've arranged a date with Millenia
next year, and Altima and I are going for a ride on the Soul
Train."
"Ride, eh?" Wayne asked, smiling conspiratorially.
"Is it that kind of ride-- nudge nudge, wink wink?"
"I
believe that that is up to [/i]him[/i]," Mal'Ganis said
flatly, pointing vaguely to the door that Tenshi had minutes ago
walked out of. "However, since I am sending Millenia to meet him
first to, well, persuade him to help me, I am reasonably assured of
my chances."
The human laughed a little at that. "I see. One
last question, then; for now... how do you feel about
battle.net?"
The Dreadlord suddenly clenched his fist. "My
first official act as new Overlord of the Burning Legion... will be
to wipe every 'l4m0r' off the face of the worlds! ...oh, and nerf
Spellbreakers. And I don't like the Death Knight being so important
to the Scourge, either."
The young man nodded. "Heh, I see.
OK... well, now I think we'll take our first intermission, and play
our first SX Director's Cut for you now.
And--"
---
The scene is Nantos, during the
Prologue. The first fight against Kashell is about to begin.
Daisetsu has just left to retrieve an artifact, leaving his friends
to their certain death at the hands of Drizz-- er,
Kashell.
"So, Jun. You're saying an awesome ninja like you
who can do all kinds of cool stuff written later on got knocked out
in one hit by Daisetsu?"
The ninja reddened. "Look, it's a
proven fact that phoenixes beat turtles. Even getting Genbu promoted
to 'dragon' still didn't cut it."
Ian went back to sharpening
his halberd. "Either that, or maybe you're just used to being on
your back-- ah!" he cried as Jun snapped a kick to his jaw with such
force that the older man went flying, furrowing through the ground
Dragonball-style. "D---it!" he cursed, getting back up. "That's no
way to treat someone who won't be showing back up in the entire d---
tournament!"
"Speak for yourself," Rohan grumbled, taking a
swig from one of Dorrin's stage-backup sake gourds. "You at least
have something you're famous for, like that ridiculously heavy axe.
I'm a mage. We're a dime a dozen. Nobody remembers
me."
"Aww... that's not true," Jun said, smiling. "You really
stand out, too. Your part in the script is great!"
The mage
frowned. "And you're saying that because you're the only woman in
the hosts' lineup besides Anko, who's paired up with the Token Evil
Priest. So you're good looking, always mentioned, nobody forgets
you, get sponsors fighting over you...." he sighed and took another
drink.
There was suddenly a flash of white light, and
Kashell, twin scimitars flashing, appeared in a blinding flash.
Kashell flashed a toothy smile at them, light flashing off his
teeth.
"Wow! So flashy!" Jun cried, anime-style sparkles
dotting her eyes. "He's so cool! And like, both holy and evil, at
the same time! And he's got that
tricked-by-the-Dark-Side-but-good-deep-down vibe, and is the only
NPC to fight with two cool weapons, which are the same as Drizzt,
mind you, who's also..." she went on, in a voice best described as a
squeal.
"This, ah, isn't exactly what I had in mind," Kashell
began, as Jun then began waxing eloquent about how he was bishounen
as well, and, as with any otaku; that consisted of a process
involving multiple seizures, sweatdrops, speech so rapid as to make
any auctioneer jealous, and swooning every time said target of
affection did anything remotely 'cool'-- which, for Kashell, being
written better than nearly other NPC, was nearly every couple of
seconds; and poor Jun was gone.
"Well... that's not
good." Ian said, shouldering his halberd.
The holy man
blinked. "Um... aren't you going to fight me?"
"No~" came a
dreamy voice. "I could never~~~"
"Nah," said Rohan, shaking
his head. "You're too cool. But we do know someone who will beat
you!"
"Oh?" replied Kashell, eagerly twirling his
incredibly-flashy scimitars; and Jun fainted again. "Who would that
be?"
As one, both men yelled, "Daisetsu! There's
another NPC! We're dead meat, man! Stop looking for that Plot Dev--
er, artifact, and come bail us out!"
"As you can see, your people are now mine. I
will now turn this city, household by household, until the flame of
Life has been snuffed out... forever." - Mal'Ganis
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Wayne
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Posted: 04-29-2003 , 05:04
AM |
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The Night Beckons...
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
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"I don't remember it happening that way,"
commented Wayne, eyes starting to cross.
"Why don't you call
Jun in here?" asked Mal'Ganis, voice even. "Perhaps she could
explain herself? That seemed... quite... out-of-character, as it
were." Given who really wrote that 'Cut,' though, I'm not
surprised--
"'Mal'Ganis' once again found himself on his
knees, professing his undying lo--'"
"Grah! Can't you think
of another means of torture and blackmail, mortal?!"
Wayne
grinned. "'Jun walks in to the room in reply to Wayne's summons.
She's wearing a functionally-useless but very fanservice-ish ninja
outfit, in fact, a lot like Mai Shiranui's. She waltzes over to
Mal'Ganis, and sits on his lap. The demon then--"
The door
flew open.
Jun walked into the room in reply to Wayne's
earlier summons. She was wearing a functionally-useless, but very
revealing; ninja outfight, in fact a lot like Mai Shiranui's. She
sashayed over to Mal'Ganis and sat on his lap, kissing him on the
cheek casually. The demon then--
By all the Legions of
Hell.
"Xenophilia's a crime in thirty star systems and
about two hundred animes or TV shows," Wayne commented, but neither
heard him.
And understandably. Mal'Ganis found that having no
lips was no obstacle to holding a really long kiss; and not having
to breathe was a good aid. Jun, meanwhile; was running her hands
over the Dreadlord's heavily muscled arms and
chest.
"Y'know... why don't we show another 'Director's Cut,'
and then get back to the..." Mal'Ganis's chair fell over as he and
Jun both rolled onto the floor," ...interview. ...get a room, you
two! Or at least another dimension! Gah!"
---
The
scene is now at a crowded room. It's a talent exhibition of sorts;
Jun and Daisetsu are sitting together behind a pair of tables,
stacks of applications, letters, and videotapes around them. There's
already quite a line of rejected and still-waiting
hopefuls.
"Next!" Daisetsu bellowed, and a man dressed in
religious-style robes and armor stepped up. The smell of alchohol
lingered around him, but it wasn't exceptionally
overpowering.
"Name?" the swordsman demanded, and the man
nodded.
"Dorrin. I'm a Priest." His voice was somewhat low,
but not quite the baritone of Daisetsu; and it hid his inebriation
well.
"A drunken priest?" Jun asked quizzically. "Drunken
monk, maybe; but that doesn't seem like your
religion."
"Religion's overrated in a Survivor story anyway,
though," Dorrin replied, laughing, and the entire room of hundreds
joined in.
"So... what can you do?"
The cleric
pondered this for a minute. "...well... I can hold my liquor really
well. And I'm not picky, although I haven't really taken to sake
much, yet. I can use auras, too, although they're mostly to keep
from getting drunk when I'm wagering at the pub--"
"Dorrin,"
Daisetsu asked roughly, "...do your powers go beyond getting
plastered?"
He seemed taken aback. "Not... getting... drunk?
I don't know. I've never tried fighting sober. I guess my
magic could work then. Haven't tried
it."
"...."
"...."
"Oh, oh, yeah, there are a
few other things I can do."
"Yeah?" the swordsman asked, ears
perking up.
"See this mace?"
"Yeah."
"When I
swing it really hard and hit someone in the head, I can knock them
out. Then I can say a prayer over them... and you know you need
someone to handle shriving and proper burials and all
that."
Jun and Daisetsu looked at each other, than back at
Dorrin, then back again. "Oh... Kay... well... we'll keep you in
mind. Next?"
The cleric walked off dejectedly, although not
before adding that he could use both Simple Weapons and all types of
Armor, but not Shields; and had very high Fortitude and Will saves,
as one would except from his lifetime of tolerance to potentially
harmful things, like excessive drinking and being a member of a
corrupt church.
This time a taller An'ven, carrying a bow;
and in fact strongly resembling the mythical Robin Hood, walked
up.
"Name--" Daisetsu began, but the stranger
interrupted.
"Kalten 3:16 says I just shot a lightning arrow
up your a--!"
The An'ven leader stared. Jun's pen dropped.
Kalten grinned.
"I'm an Archer! I'm large, in charge, I swear
like a f---ing Mith character, and I never shoot the
food!"
Once again Daisetsu and Jun looked at each other,
mouths agape. Then, in unison, stared at Kalten.
"...what?
You don't like my intro, b----?"
Jun's eyes flared. "Oh, that
did it. You can talk as bada-- as you want to, but nobody
calls me that!"
The ninja kicked over her table and lunged at
Kalten; who dodged; and suddenly the room was filled with the light
show of two blindingly-fast NPC leaders fighting tooth-and-nail, if
not bow-and-knife. Finally, both stopped, panting heavily; and
Daisetsu smiled.
"You're hired. Even if you have to chalk it
up to us needing one loud-and-annoying but still good person on my
team."
Kalten grinned. "F---in' A, man!"
"OK..."
Daisetsu said, grinning as he left; before he dismissed the other
applicants, he turned back to Jun. "Take him and Dorrin backstage
and give them their briefing, OK?"
---
"All
right..." said Wayne, blinking; even more confused now. "...so...
well, at least we can finish the interview. Mal'Ganis?
Jun?"
To his amazement, both were sitting-- in different
chairs!-- behind the table that the demon had righted up again, and
looked completely at ease, as though nothing had happened. In fact,
the only betraying feature was Jun's sort-of-dress; the right
shoulder hung somewhat more loosely, and her hair was still somewhat
messy.
"...got that out of your system?" the human asked
dryly, but Mal'Ganis shook his head.
"No, although then, that
is probably because you're supervising it, and insist on censoring
such trivialities."
"...yeah. So anyway. Jun, thanks for
being with us."
She smiled radiantly, and at once Wayne felt
his knees go weak. "Oh, it's my pleasure. I should thank you
for taking such an interest in me, and now that Mal'Ganis and I have
gotten to know each other better... it's one of the best things that
could've happened to me."
The human's eyes widened. "Uh...
well, if you say so. So Jun. What're your plans now?"
She
mimiced Wayne's poor chair posture by leaning back, and tapped a
finger to her chin. "Hard to say. I suppose I haven't really decided
yet. Although since Mal'Ganis promised not to cause trouble, I think
I might help him take out Kil'Jaeden... since I couldn't really help
much against the last apocalyptic evil demon."
"What do you
think about Testament winning the tournament?"
"Oh... well,
I'm still undecided there. I always got along with him fine, but
dark, brooding types... they're either so irrestible, or really
suspicious. I'm not sure what to make of him yet."
Wayne
nodded. "That's understandable. What about Daisetsu, Kalten, and
Dorrin? Or the Four-slash-Five-slash-some other indeterminate
number?"
She paused. "Well... that's tricky. Dorrin I get
along with fine; he doesn't want to get into bed with me, which is
an automatic plus. Kalten is a bit different... he's a loose cannon,
but pretty nice once you get to know him. Daisetsu's just about
impossible to not like... he's just so perfect, you know? Even his
little flaws, like getting angry easily; are so minor compared to
how cool he is...."
"...." said-- or, rather, not said--
Mal'Ganis and Wayne in unison.
Mal'Ganis raised one finger on
his right hand, then two, then a third, then a fourth.
"What
are you counting?" Wayne queried, absently taking his sunglasses
from his pocket, polishing them, then putting them
back.
"One. By far the most powerful character, capable of
beating Jun, who's the second-most described, with one hit. Two. Has
the best and most well-known 'avatar,' and is the first to use it,
that is; saving the dead woman in San'tar. Three. High-ranking, if
not nobility. Leader of his own army, basically. Probably a genius
tactician. Four. Uses a sword. The only 'good' NPC with a sword.
Owns, as the battle.net lamers say, with it. Has the only
clearly defined rivalry. Five. Not only does the Archbishop of
Indeterminate Headgear* attempt to destroy all Creation, he also
makes it personal... just for Daisetsu."
The young man
sighed. "Heh, OK, Daisetsu's great. Yeah. I understand from the Cut
you had a little crush on Kashell... is that ri--"
Jun
swooned.
"...I suppose so. Mal'Ganis, why don't you make sure
she's OK? Playing Director's Cut 3...."
*This is
actually not a joke. The Archbishop was never really described aside
from "layers of white robes," so I read about him having a veil,
miter, hood, and more than likely anything else from a baseball cap
to one of those hilarious Chinese warlord
headdresses.
"As you can see, your people are now mine. I
will now turn this city, household by household, until the flame of
Life has been snuffed out... forever." - Mal'Ganis
IP: Logged |
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Wayne
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Posted: 04-29-2003 , 05:09
AM |
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The Night Beckons...
 Registered: Feb 2003 Location:
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It is now just after the previous scene.
Jun has led Kalten and Dorrin backstage, and goes off to the right
to change.
"So." said Kalten briskly, and Dorrin nodded. "So
you know what this is all about?"
"Not a clue," the cleric
replied, taking a sip from a sixth hidden flask on his person. "Just
said that the pay wasn't bad, and the benefits are really, really
good. Plus it's for a good cause. Hard to turn that
down."
"Yeah, I guess." Kalten replied quickly, pacing around
the stage. "The poster said we'd get some great powers and a bunch
of followers."
Dorrin nodded amiably. "Indeed. All for a good
cause, eh?"
"Come to think of it," added Kalten, not really
listening, "...they also promised us some power that's like
quasi-deity and s---, and the guy in front of me in the line says
the women really dig all that, too."
"I wouldn't go that
far," said the cleric neutrally, taking another drink.
"OK!"
called Jun, stepping out of the changing room. Gone was her ninja
garb from before; now, she was wearing a tight t-shirt with a
phoenix and "I Love Suzaku" emblazoned on it, and a short skirt...
and a pair of pom-poms.
"What." said Kalten so flatly as to
be a statement rather than a question.
Dorrin dropped his
bottle.
"You're going to need your training to be good Lords
for Kyo. That means you really need to learn what you can do with
your new powers."
"Powers, eh?" grinned Kalten, rubbing his
hands together. "Now that's more like it. What're my
powers?"
"Well..." began Jun, "We're thinking about giving
you Seiryu, which is like Wind. And Dorrin, you get Byakko, which is
a tiger. Defensive and powerful."
The Cleric didn't reply; he
was instead staring at the new cheerleader, spiritual mind dwelling
on a most carnal plane.
"So then," the ninja said cheerfully,
"We should get started. Are you two ready?"
The two men
sighed, nodded, and moved into formation beside Jun at her spoken
order.
"OK... now! There's a powerful enemy in front of us!
What're we going to do?"
"Smash it!" bellowed Dorrin,
brandishing his mace.
"Go postal on that motherf----r!"
shouted Kalten, drawing an arrow.
"No!" cried Jun, shaking
her head. "We... must... call...."
Her voice suddenly dropped
low, and both men, surprised; asked, "...who?"
"Gimme a
D!"
They stared. "...D?"
"Gimme an
A!"
"...A."
"Gimme an I!"
"Aye!" called Dorrin,
drowning out a very rude comment from Kalten.
"Gimme an...
an... oh, gee, I forgot. But anyway! We... must... call...
Daisetsu!"
"Gimme a break!" sneered Kalten, shaking his head.
"What can that old relic do that I can't? He's a freakin' swordsman,
for Lights' sake. Swords are so cliche. You bring a sword to a
f----n' gunfight, or bow-fight, you get your a-- handed to you. Why
do you think I'm an Archer now? I used to be a swordsman because
that's how you get chicks, but it ain't worth it."
"But
Daisetsu... he's so powerful! He can anything! So, gimme a Daisetsu!
Daisetsu! If he can't do it... nobody can!"
"I can't f----n'
believe this." moaned Kalten, taking a dejected seat on the floor as
Jun continued her cheers.
"Wanna drink?" Dorrin
offered.
"Strongest one you've got, buddy. And say a prayer
for me, cause I wanna beat the leaving hell out of somebody right
now."
---
"So..." said Wayne, now sounding
somewhat surprised, "...the entire point of you recruiting Dorrin
and Kalten was to get a cheerleading squad for Daisetsu?"
Jun
nodded, smiling. "That was my idea. Kyo originally wanted to have
just Daisetsu and me, with him being an invincible Kenshin-type guy
and me the irresistably cute but ultimately useless cheerleader
sidekick. But eventually he changed his mind, and a team is what we
came up with."
Mal'Ganis ran his fingers up the bare back
exposed by Jun's dress; and she shivered. "Which ended up being a
good thing, of course. What puzzles me is what Kyo was trying to
accomplish by pitting us to fight against each other, but yet each
being part of the same team. Most illogical."
"Well, it
was a pretty unique idea." Wayne replied, shrugging. "I think
he did the right thing; going for something that hadn't really been
seen before. Even if the execution didn't go all that
well."
"The mortal did have his mind in other places, that is
certain," Mal'Ganis added, thinking out loud. "I would imagine that
had he kept a tighter rein on things, I doubt I would've been able
to win Jun like I did."
"Yeah... like with those really
transparent plots and webs of deception, right? Yeah, I mean... just
how stupid do you think I am?"
Mal'Ganis looked at Wayne
pointedly; and the mortal shrugged. Stupid enough, he said
telepathically, [/i]Since it worked.[/i] Wayne chuckled in reply.
"You're welcome."
---
"Jun, Green Turtle! Pretty...
ninja... cheerleader! Love and peace!"
"Dorrin, White Tiger!
Cliched... priest... drunk! We'll get hammered while the sponsors
save the day!"
"Kalten, Blue Dragon! Profane... archer...
Kalten 3:16 says I got Daisetsu's back, yo!"
"Daisetsu, Red
Phoenix! Uber... swordsman... superpower! If I can't do it, only
Fate and all the sponsors put together can!"
"And with our
powers combined... we sit back and watch while the writers save the
day!"
"Yattai!"
"Party!"
"F----n'
A!"
"Enough jokes about me already, d---it! It's not Kyo's
d--- fault he didn't have the time to flesh out everybody
else!"
---
The End
---
...until the
Epilogue.
---
(Seriously, no hard feelings to Kyo, or
anybody else. I wasn't sure about posting this as it is pretty harsh
parody in places, but Draco and I had a huge laugh over it, and once
I started writing... man, next thing I know it's two hours later and
23K words long, and it wouldn't be right to him to junk it. So here
we are. Apologies in advance.)
No hot ninja
girls, Dreadlords, phoenixes, fanboys, katana, anime cliches, NPCs,
or humans were hurt in the making of this quasi-parody.
Stay tuned in for Survivor X-2! Coming soon,
with even less plot and more gratuitious fanservice!
"It
takes everything that was bad with Survivor X, and makes it much,
much worse. But then, you'll be too busy looking at the pretty
graphics and subtle hints at shoujo-ai to ever
notice!"
"Voice acting is still nonexistent in many places,
but that's OK. The people that you can't hear you probably didn't
want to in the first place."
"Did I say there's lots of
fanservice and subtle hints of-- OK, OK, never
mind!"
-A Wayne Spurlock Production-
(I'm going
to regret this for as long as I live. Which, assuming the principles
of karma apply to Survivor more than Christianity does, heh,
probably won't be for much longer.)
"As you can see, your people are now mine. I
will now turn this city, household by household, until the flame of
Life has been snuffed out... forever." - Mal'Ganis
IP: Logged |
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